Meet Roman Fedortsov, a deep-sea fisherman who shares photos of his monstrous discoveries on Twitter and Instagram. He mostly works near the northwestern Russian city of Murmansk. He sends probes and fishing lines into the depths of the ocean, and reels in some crazy looking creatures.
We know so little about the bottom of the ocean. I bet you didn’t even know that fish could have teeth like this.
Cheshire Cat: Sea Edition
Well isn’t that a lovely grin? Meet the Cheshire cat of the deep ocean, people. This monster looks like it can take a sizeable bite out of the side of a shark.
It would also take a sizeable bite out of your hand if you let it.
Hellboy In Fish Form
This fish really does look like Hellboy. He’s got all the right head bumps and all the right colors. I wonder if Guillermo del Toro caught glimpse of a fish like this before he designed his iconic character?
Look at the chin on this thing!
A Fence Of Teeth
Those teeth really do look like some kind of impenetrable fence— maybe even a few rows of fences. There’s no way I’d try crossing a barrier like that.
Look how sharp those things are. I bet they could still do some serious damage even after the fish stopped swimming (for good).
Dragons Are Real, Guys
You thought dragons were just found in myths and Game of Thrones? Well, you thought wrong. Dragons are real and they live at the bottom of the ocean.
This monster is absolutely terrifying. It kind of reminds me of the dragon from Shrek. You know, Donkey’s wife.
Avert Your Eyes
What the actual heck. Is that part of the fish, or are there a bunch of little worms coming out of his mouth? I don’t even know which option I’d prefer.
This is just too much. Some things live at the bottom of the ocean for a reason.
Teeth Like Little Swords
This is a lancetfish. It is so named because it looks like a knife and it has teeth that are as sharp as knives. See, this is why I don’t go swimming.
You never know what’s lurking in the ocean, or a river, or even a swimming pool.
These Have To Be Aliens
This is Psolus phantapus. I really don’t like it. Whoever invented these needs to go back to inventor school.
Is it bad that I really want to touch one? I mean, I really don’t, but I also really do. Get this picture away from me before I dissolve into a paradox.
A Space Shark
You know when people on YouTube make galaxy t-shirts and galaxy cake and galaxy ice cream? Well, this is a galaxy shark. That’s not his real name, that’s just what I’ve decided to call him.
He’s pretty cool, but only from a distance. Stay away if you want to keep your fingers.
This is a rat fish. It got that name because, well, look at it. It looks like a drowned rat. It looks worse than a drowned rat.
The bottom of the ocean is a spooky place, people. Let’s all agree to never go there and pretend that it doesn’t exist.
A Surprise Basket
Oh, you thought one weird fish was gross? How about five weird fish all smushed together in a basket? It’s even worse? Yeah, that’s what I thought too.
Why are their lips so pink and gummy? Why are they looking at me? I don’t like this at all.
A Spotted Sucker
I’ve decided to call this fish a Spotted Sucker, but that’s not his real name. This is a southern stargazer, which is much too pretty of a name for a fish this ugly.
They can discharge up to 50 volts of electricity from behind their eyes to stun their prey.
Why Does It Have Teeth, Though?
I really hope you’re not eating anything right now, because this is enough to make me lose my appetite for weeks. OK, not weeks, who am I kidding. Maybe for a moment or two.
This is a fish with the mouth of a horse and I’m really not into the whole idea of it.
A Tiny Kraken
Ok, this one is kind of cute. I’m not really sure what it is, but it doesn’t look as bad as all the fish we’ve seen so far.
I’m sure it has some kind of poison in its body that could kill me though, because that’s just the way life works.
This looks like some kind of deep-sea puffer fish. Maybe somebody out there in the world wide interweb could give me some more information about it.
Like, why does it have weird flat teeth and why does he look like he’s mad at me? What did I ever do to him?
Um, I think this is supposed to open up and some long scary thing is supposed to come out of it, but I hope that whatever’s in there just stays inside.
I don’t need to see a fleshy or toothed appendage emerge from that squishy space rock.
What’s Up Doc?
This fish looks kind of like Bigs Bunny chewing on a carrot, or like a farmer chewing on a piece of hay. Actually, it just looks scary and I don’t like it.
This is a one-eyed pirate Wolffish. I don’t know if that stick is part of his body or if it’s just something stuck in his teeth from breakfast.
Nothing To See Here
So, this fish is just chilling at a fish market, which means someone is going to cook this thing up and eat it. It’s crazy when you, as a person, can eat a thing that looks like it’s about to eat you.
It seems like a slap in the face to the circle of life. Has The Lion King taught you nothing?
Have A Nice Day
This is the open mouth of a frilled shark. It has a bunch of rows of little teeth in its mouth as you can clearly see if you haven’t closed this article by now and fled to a different planet.
According to our fisherman Roman Fedortsov, this guy is an ideal predator, which I totally believe.
This Can’t Be Real
This looks like some surreal monster that even the best and brightest horror movie writers couldn’t come up with. Is it eating its own snot or is part of its nose just permanently dangling into its mouth?
Ok, I don’t want to look at this one anymore. Onto the next one.
This little fish is actually kind of pretty. That blue color is pretty magnificent. It’s nice to know that some of the fish at the bottom of the ocean don’t look like horrifying snot monsters.
This is a nice picture to end on. Let’s just look at this fish and forget about the nineteen ugly ones that came before it.