Only Baby Boomers Would Think These Things Are Cool

Baby boomers love to complain about millennials, and here’s a shocker, the silent generation also complained about Baby Boomers. It’s a practice that likely goes back to the start of humankind. Each generation has their differences and those differences often focus on how we live our lives in very different and unique ways.

From wearing jorts to binge-watching 24-hour network news and HSN, these are things most people under the age of 40 wouldn’t admit to doing. But folks born between 1946 and 1964 insist that these things are still relevant. If you think any of the following things are significant today… you might be a baby boomer. Sure, millennials might not get it, but keep being you and never change!

Just walk into any of their homes and you’ll probably see them wearing this outdated clothing item

They Throw Down On Racquetball

Sandeep Reddy, of Longmont, Chris Hawley, of Longmont, and Vishwanath Mantha, of Erie, play on the racquetball court at the Ed and Ruth Lehman YMCA of Longmont.
Matt Jonas/Digital First Media/Boulder Daily Camera via Getty Images
Matt Jonas/Digital First Media/Boulder Daily Camera via Getty Images

If you have racquetball rooms in your local gym, chances are half of them are always occupied by a couple of middle-aged men throwing down in the spirit of some good old-fashioned competition.

We can’t see why you’d want to give up the open space of a tennis court to be stuck in a sweat-scented room hitting a ball against the wall but at the very least, racquetball is a good calorie-burning sport, so there’s that. But really, you hardly see anyone under the age of 50 playing this game.

They Love Their Cruises

baby-boomers-think-cool-01
Cameron Spencer/Getty Images
Cameron Spencer/Getty Images

It’s easy to see why baby boomers love going on cruises. Not only do you get to visit new places, but you can also lay out by the pool or hit the buffet in the meantime. Cruises are usually all-inclusive and can take you throughout the Caribbean, Europe, or even Alaska.

The cruises themselves aren’t necessarily what’s uncool. It’s the fact that you’ll likely be trapped within a crowd of people on a boat the whole time that serves as the big caveat to going on a cruise.

Baby Boomers Won’t Stop Wearing Crocs

The founders of Crocs footwear pose with a variety of their products at their Niwot offices.
Glenn Asakawa/The Denver Post via Getty Images
Glenn Asakawa/The Denver Post via Getty Images

Crocs are one of the most polarizing articles of clothing around and baby boomers love them. They may be some of the most comfortable shoes (or are they sandals?) on the market but that doesn’t change their reputation for being ugly.

We mainly only see medical professionals or Mario Batali wearing these things, mainly because they’re on their feet all day. But baby boomers like to complain about a lot of things — especially their tired feet — so it’s no wonder why they like to wear Crocs so much.

Coming up, why would anyone want to have something dead smelling up their homes?

Potpourri Is In All Of Their Homes

a glass bowl filled with potpourri
xikita/Flickr
xikita/Flickr

Seriously, what is the deal with potpourri? We can understand the need to make your home smell pleasant but there are so many other ways to go about doing this. There are candles, aerosol sprays (which aren’t good for the environment, but still), and even a good old-fashioned spring cleaning that can make your house smell fresh.

It’s certainly better than having a bowl full of dead flower petals in your living room that once you stop smelling you’ll forget about and leave there to collect dust for the next seven months.

They Won’t Leave Jorts Alone

Dad jorts
Twitter
Twitter

Another polarizing article of clothing that baby boomers just insist on wearing is jorts. If you’ve never heard of the term for “jean shorts” then it’s likely you’re a baby boomer yourself who consistently commits this crime against fashion.

And we know what you’re thinking, But ladies wear denim shorts all the time! Sure, that’s true, because people really only take issue with jorts when some old dad wearing socks with sandals — or worse, Crocs — is trying to making you laugh with his embarrassingly corny jokes all the time.

Next, these are the restaurants that boomers love and millennials hate.

Chain Restaurants Are Date Night Hot Spots

Applebee's restaurant exterior, neon signs.
Jeffrey Greenberg/UIG via Getty Images
Jeffrey Greenberg/UIG via Getty Images

After work, baby boomers enjoy treating themselves to a night out. They enjoy a nice movie or even the hottest restaurant in town. The only problem is that they think the hottest restaurant in town is their local Applebee’s.

Your Neighborhood Grill and Bar and other chain restaurants just like it are frequented by baby boomer couples. With so many better options out there these days, we can’t understand why baby boomers would rather settle for something that probably has no more than two-and-a-half stars on Yelp.

Malls Aren’t What They Used To Be

A woman talking on a cell phone holding a Macy's bag at Westfield Shoppingtown Southlake.
Jeffrey Greenberg/UIG via Getty Images
Jeffrey Greenberg/UIG via Getty Images

Ever since the Internet allowed us to buy nearly anything we needed and have it delivered straight to our doors, shopping malls have become obsolete. At first, malls were a retail mecca where department stores reigned supreme. You’ll still find plenty of baby boomers roaming the mall, however, although we’re not sure why.

Now, you can buy stuff from Amazon without having to spend the gas money or trudge through crowds of aimless teens. Ironically, malls are becoming more and more uncool for that very reason.

They’re Easily Fooled By Conspiracy Theories

Man on a Cellphone Outside a Barbershop in Holliston, MA
Richard Berkowitz/Moment Mobile/Getty Images
Richard Berkowitz/Moment Mobile/Getty Images

From the moon landing to JFK’s assassination, conspiracy theories have long fed people the idea that these historic events and more were fake. While conspiracy theories are interesting, they’re still only theories. Still, there are plenty of people who believe them and a good percentage of those people are baby boomers.

These days baby boomers are more likely to believe conspiracy theories and spread “fake news” simply because they didn’t grow up with the technology that is available today, so they’re easily fooled. We guess we know why they rely on 24-hour news networks so much.

24-Hour News Networks Only Cater To Them

Chris Wallace awaiting the arrival of former Vice President Al Gore on the set of
Paul Morigi/Getty Images
Paul Morigi/Getty Images

The ’50s were considered the Golden Age of Television but even then, they still had to wait another 30 years for 24-hour news networks to come around. Most people waited until the evening to get the news from their favorite reporter but in 1980 that all changed when CNN was founded as a 24-hour cable news channel.

By then, most baby boomers were in the prime of their adulthood and loved that they could stay up to date at all times of the day. But these days, they’re the only ones who ever watch those channels.

Home Shopping Channels Show Them All The “Cool” Things

sandals being sold on QVC
YouTube
YouTube

If a baby boomer’s television set doesn’t have CNN or Fox News blaring out of it at all hours of the day, then it’s likely on QVC or HSN. These home shopping networks used to be the prime platform to get great deals on neat gadgets or jewelry with a celebrity’s name on it. But just like with shopping malls, online shopping has cut out the need for home shopping networks.

So why exactly are they still around? Apparently there’s a handful of baby boomers out there who still tune in.

Baby boomers love their home shopping. But do they love it as much as the reading material coming up next?

They Still Read Reader’s Digest

A copy of Reader's Digest magazine is displayed on a rack at a grocery store August 17, 2009 in San Anselmo, California.
Justin Sullivan/Getty Images
Justin Sullivan/Getty Images

It’s been almost 100 years since Reader’s Digest became a thing and it’s a wonder why they’re even still around. How many people off the top of your head do you know actually read Reader’s Digest?

If you actually did have an answer for that, then you likely thought of your Aunt Susan, your grandpa, or maybe even your own mother. Reader’s Digest has filed for bankruptcy on numerous occasions over the last decade, yet somehow we still see new issues of it in line at the grocery store.

Diamonds Are Incredibly Overrated

1950s GLAMOROUS WOMAN EYES CLOSED CHIN LIFTED PUTTING ON ELABORATE DIAMOND RHINESTONE NECKLACE
Debrocke/ClassicStock/Getty Images
Debrocke/ClassicStock/Getty Images

They say that diamonds are a girl’s best friend – that is if she or someone she knows is wealthy enough to afford those diamonds. Baby boomers sold each other on the idea that “exclusive” and expensive diamonds were the only way to go.

Diamonds are actually quite common and easier to find than most precious gems. But demand increases as they’re slowly released in the market, making them wildly expensive. Even some of the biggest diamonds aren’t worth much if they don’t pass in terms of clarity, color, and cut.

Golf Takes Itself Way Too Seriously

Five young men being taught how to play golf by an instructor circa 1950.
FPG/Getty Images
FPG/Getty Images

Golf may be a thrilling sport if you’re in your 60s, which is where most baby boomers are at these days. This non-endurance sport is popular among wealthy folk who like to pretend to take the game seriously while they discuss business matters.

When you watch golf in person you must stay incredibly quiet and walk long distances to follow the golfers through 18 holes. It sounds boring to watch in person which is why we can’t even fathom why anyone would enjoy watching the sport on television.

Procedural Police Shows Are All The Drama They Need

mariska hargitay in season 14 of law & order: svu
USA Network
USA Network

When they’re not watching network news or home shopping, baby boomers are likely watching a procedural drama of some sort. They just love shows like NCIS, Law & Order, and all of those shows’ spin-offs.

While these shows can spark a bit of interest when you first start watching them, after a while you realize that each episode pretty much follows the same formula. After all, baby boomers are at that age where they prefer to know what to expect and you really can’t change their minds about it either.

Knickknacks Are Also A Waste Of Space

Knickknacks fill the garage in Ladera Ranch where workers prepare for an estate sale.
Mindy Schauer/Digital First Media/Orange County Register via Getty Images
Mindy Schauer/Digital First Media/Orange County Register via Getty Images

If Marie Kondo was around when baby boomers were becoming adults, then we’d likely have very few knickknacks in this world. As is the case, Miss “Spark Joy” herself wasn’t around back then to convince baby boomers they didn’t need that mini Hawaiian hula dancer or that seventh hip-swinging Santa Claus.

This is why baby boomers often have a treasure trove of knickknacks lying around their house collecting dust. Unless they’re rare collector’s items, most of those knickknacks are uselessly taking up space too.

They Still Use Yahoo!

Yahoo! Inc. Executives, Front, Jeff Mallett, President And Coo, And Tim Koogle, Chairman And Ceo, And Broadcast.Com Inc. Executives, Rear, Mark Cuban, President And Chairman, And Todd Wagner Ceo And Vice Chairman
Getty Images
Getty Images

When baby boomers use the Internet, they likely have Yahoo! set-up as their homepage. Sure, they got on board when the Internet was invented but still use the thing as if it’s 1999. We can’t think of anyone who still maintains a Yahoo! email address besides our aunts and uncles and we’d be shocked to hear if anyone uses the Yahoo! search engine over Google.

But hey, at least Yahoo! is still around doing business thanks to the baby boomers who still believe it’s one of the best sites on the entire Internet.

They Think China Adds To The Home

two women stand next to a china cabinet in walt disney world
Jared/Flickr
Jared/Flickr

Another item on the list of useless home decor that baby boomers love is fine china. We can understand wanting to own an incredibly expensive set of dishes as some sort of status symbol, but what’s the point if you’re never going to use them?

Just like knickknacks and potpourri, baby boomers like to put fine china on display and let it collect dust for years on end. A lot of the time the china isn’t even tasteful and some might say that it’s just downright tacky.

Maybe baby boomers like to collect china and not use it because they’re too busy eating at the places you’ll see coming up.

They Still Get Shopping Catalogs In The Mail

ll bean, harry & david, and bed, bath, & beyond shopping catalogs
Pinterest
Pinterest

If you still get catalogs in the mail, it might be or live with a baby boomer. Not everyone is inclined to buy something they see on TV so instead, companies send these people entire catalogs of items they could probably buy online.

Of course, buying from these catalogs isn’t that convenient at all considering all the mailing and waiting you have to do just to make your purchase. But we suppose baby boomers like doing things the hard way since they’re not used to the convenience of Amazon Prime.

Baby Boomers Still Tend To Gender Everything

blue truck crayon set and pink princess crayon set
Cory Doctorow/Flickr
Cory Doctorow/Flickr

In baby boomer days, there was no talk of gender fluidity. If there were ever a child struggling with who they were or how they felt inside, they probably didn’t speak up about it.

Back then, if you were a girl, then you were predisposed to like girly-themed items and the same went for little boys. While generations that follow baby boomers have become a little more sensitive about things, you have to understand where your Aunt Helen was coming from when she bought your daughter a princess coloring book when your daughter clearly only likes dinosaurs.

They Love To Buy Processed Foods

cans of spam in the supermarket
Nicolas Toper/Flickr
Nicolas Toper/Flickr

The same can’t be said of all baby boomers but many of them are entrapped in a world of processed foods. Baby boomers grew up in a time where supermarkets and food companies were trying to find out ways to make their products last longer on store shelves.

This is why a lot of food in the supermarket is chock-full of unnecessary preservatives and sugars. It’s partly why there was an obesity epidemic for generations that came after them and why healthy food is now trendy.

They Somehow Swallow Dry Toast

dried toast sandwich on reddit
Reddit/u/’JP147
Reddit/u/’JP147

How many times have we heard baby boomers joke about “millennials and their avocado toast?” Perhaps that’s because they like to shove sandpaper down their throats in the form of toast without butter.

Sure, you might want to withhold the butter when you’re sick or aim to lose weight. But if you’re on a diet, why are you eating plain toast anyway? Wouldn’t you want a healthier option, like toast with egg or the infamous avocado? Try uploading a picture of dry toast to Instagram and see how many likes you get.

Ironing Isn’t Necessary All Of The Time

A worker ironing an embroidered shawl at the Torzhokskiye Zolotoshvei goldwork embroidery factory
Artyom GeodakyanTASS via Getty Images
Artyom GeodakyanTASS via Getty Images

Ironing has its place in fashion. You may want to look sharp for a job interview or a new date, but both of those chores require owning an iron and having the time to iron. Millennials can barely afford their rent–why would they waste their time and money ironing pants?

Since the popularity of ironing has dunked, people don’t care anymore if clothes appear a bit wrinkly. But baby boomers still think that everyone cares. “Look how wrinkly that is!” said no millennial ever.

Airbrushed T-Shirts Never Looked Good

teacher of the T-shirt workshop wears a self made shirt during the International Airbrush Days
Markus Scholz/picture alliance via Getty Images
Markus Scholz/picture alliance via Getty Images

Those shirts that look like they’ve been spray-painted may have been “in” in the ’70s and ’80s. But let’s be real: A lot of fashion trends in those look objectively ugly. Not everyone looks good in a perm, and not everyone is fashionable in an airbrushed t-shirt, either.

Actually, we take that back. Nobody looks good in an airbrush t-shirt. Elementary school kids might wear them while running laps for P.E., but if an adult walks up in an airbrush t-shirt, the words “baby boomer” will pop into everyone’s mind like a fight-or-flight response.

They Send Emails Outside Of Work Or Business

The display of an iPhone shows the mail app indicating 3,250 unread emails
Arno Burgi/picture alliance via Getty Images
Arno Burgi/picture alliance via Getty Images

When’s the last time you sent an email to a family member just to say “hi”? If you answered “last week,” then congratulations–you’re a baby boomer! Nowadays, most people text or message people if they want to catch up or send a relevant article. But baby boomers still feel the need to email everything.

Millennials tend to use email for school and business, and nothing more. Social chatting comes through texting, Facebook, Snapchat, Whatsapp, or literally anything else. Bonus points if a baby boomer cuts out a newspaper article and mails it to people.

They Use Home Phones, Or Even Landlines

A vintage rotary dial telephone for sale at a flea market
Robert Alexander/Getty Images
Robert Alexander/Getty Images

The U.S. Center for Disease Control National Health Information Survey reports that 42% of Americans still use landlines as of December 2017. When’s the last time you saw a young person using a landline? Or even saw a landline in a movie that wasn’t historical fiction?

Most millennials today don’t even own home phones, much less a landline. Why have a phone that keeps you in one room when you can use your cellphone anywhere? Don’t be surprised if Gen Z kids don’t believe that phones with cords exist.

They Keep All Their Paperwork

A stack of newspaper proofs piled on an empty desk
David Kasnic for The Washington Post via Getty Images
David Kasnic for The Washington Post via Getty Images

Everyone knows that paperwork is messy. So why do baby boomers still shove all of their bills, finances, and medical forms into one overflowing box? It’s probably because they were raised to do so, but with the spread of computers, millennials have learned a much cleaner way to handle all their bills.

Most businesses have online payments and contracts that you easily access without wedding through piles of paper-cut-inducing useless documents. Let’s all face the truth and accept that online paperwork makes everything easier on everyone.

They Type Everything In All Caps

Frantic grandma addicted to late night internet
Getty Images
Getty Images

As people grow older, their eyesight fails over time. So it makes sense that baby boomers can read their texts and tweets easier when they type in all caps. However, most phones allow people to increase the size of their text font for this reason. Not to mention that baby boomers don’t realize that all-caps sentences affects how people read their message.

IT’S A DRAMATIC CHANGE, ISN’T IT? SUDDENLY, IT SEEMS LIKE WE’RE YELLING. BABY BOOMERS, YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT SEEING “HEY CAN YOU PICK UP SOME APPLES” AND HAVING THE VOICE IN YOUR HEAD YELL IS HILARIOUS.

Stop Using Mrs. Dash

A variety of jars of seasonings in a row including Mrs Dash second from the left
Getty Images
Getty Images

Millennials probably don’t even know what this headline means. Mrs. Dash is a spice blend consisting of onion, pepper, thyme, parsley, and a whole bunch of others. Sound familiar? Of course not, because only baby boomers use it.

Spicing up meals can make a dish even tastier, providing that you’re not using the same spice blend in every single dish. “Mmm, tastes the same as yesterday! Just what I wanted!” That quote gets attributed to no one, because who has said that? Millennials get more creative with their flavors by turning away from blends and experimenting with single spices.

They’re Obsessed With Patterned Wallpaper

This wallpaper pattern is called Aviary by Schumacher and is used in a hall bath
Tracy A. Woodward/The Washington Post via Getty Images
Tracy A. Woodward/The Washington Post via Getty Images

Baby boomers can afford a lot more home design and furniture than most millennials can. And what do they do with that privilege? Erect hideous wallpaper everywhere, even in the bathroom.

Most people who tour a house and see patterned wallpaper immediately think, “This is old.” Perhaps it wouldn’t have become such an insult to interior design if the wallpaper didn’t often feature brightly colored or invasive markings that knock the wind out of people, as if the wall could physically punch onlookers in the throat.

They Still Buy Cable TV Packages

Old TV found in an attic
Twitter/@gcapalbo
Twitter/@gcapalbo

Since millennials are all tech-savvy, they know that they can stream their favorite shows on Netflix of Hulu anytime they want. So why would anyone pay $80 a month for everything you can get online with more commercials? Well, baby boomers still do.

These cable TV packages only cater towards baby boomers, since most TV providers know that the internet is robbing most of their market. With the introduction of streaming, millennials can even watch live TV online if they so choose for a much lower price.

Fuzzy Toilet Seat Covers Aren’t Used Anymore

man lifting up toilet seat cover
Reddit/u/extremx
Reddit/u/extremx

Can we all agree that those fuzzy toilet seat covers from the ’70s are just tacky? Although they’re machine washable, many people still worry about their hygiene when their butts touch the same grimy carpet as many other butts before them.

While this should go without saying, baby boomers might need a reminder to not purchase the brown covers. Or the embroidered ones. Or the shaggy ones. Or the furry ones. Just don’t buy anymore fuzzy toilet covers, okay?

Everyone Has Told Them To Cut Down On Fossil Fuels

An excavator can be seen in the lignite opencast mine
Oliver Berg/picture alliance via Getty Images
Oliver Berg/picture alliance via Getty Images

A 2017 Pew Research Center survey compared Republican millennials to Republican baby boomers, and found that more baby boomers support increased use of fossil fuels (75%) than millennials do (44%). In addition, 45% of millennials admit that they see notice some effect of global warming, in comparison to the 15% of baby boomers.

Not only do baby boomers use up more fossil fuels than any other generation, but many of them remain in denial about it’s toxic effects on our planet. But what else is new? They won’t be around when the rest of us suffer from their practices.

Somebody Has To Watch Infomercials

infomercial featuring two sons being bored with their food
Youtube/Gabby The Clown
Youtube/Gabby The Clown

Have you ever felt frustrated when waiting to skip a five-second ad on a Youtube video? Baby boomers still watch ads that are thirty minutes long. Infomercials may have been popular in the ’80s, but they have largely disappeared, aside from baby boomer’s favorite channels.

Today, millennials only watch infomercials for their meme-able moments (“Has THIS ever happened to you?”). But who would sit through a half an hour of an advertisement willingly and unironically? Baby boomers, that’s who.

They Make The Weirdest Salads

pineapple baby boomer salad wtih miracle whip
Twitter/deleted user
Twitter/deleted user

You think oranges in salads is weird? How about broccoli and apples smothered in mayonnaise? There’s a reason why kids hated eating their vegetables, and that might have to do less with the brussels sprouts and more with the mayonnaise. Have we mentioned that they use mayonnaise?

Who could forget Great Aunt Edna’s marshmallow and Jell-O salad? We could. Weird baby boomer salads might die with the generation, along with fruit cake. And everyone will rejoice once they realize what they’re missing.

They Still Buy From Avon

Avon products are displayed inside the newly completed U.S. headquarters for Avon Products Inc.
Mario Tama/Getty Images
Mario Tama/Getty Images

For those who don’t know, Avon is a multi-level marketing makeup company has people buy their products and resell them, similar to Amway. A couple decades ago, few makeup companies besides Avon and Mary Kay existed to pick from. But now we have Sephora, Mac, and Ulta Beauty. Why use Avon?

Avon representatives will go to baby boomers’ houses and put on some makeup or, better yet, sell from baby boomer’s houses. Millennials know they can get a better deal at a mall store. MLMs like Avon seem to still rake in business from the baby boomers.

Their Beds Have Ten Million Throw Pillows

assortment of multi-colored throw pillows.
Found Image Holdings/Getty Images
Found Image Holdings/Getty Images

Pillows! Pillows everywhere! On chairs, on the couch, on the bed, in the car for some reason. Throw pillows aren’t comfortable, interrupt the couch space, and take ten minutes to remove from the bed before you go to sleep. Millennials don’t have time for that.

Comfort pillows and throw pillows have significantly different purposes here. A comfy pillow can pad a bed or couch, while decorative pillows transform your relaxation area into the back part of a sponge that isn’t pleasant to squeeze.

They Use Juice Concentrate

Person juicing a lemon
Christian Ohde/McPhoto/ullstein bild via Getty Images
Christian Ohde/McPhoto/ullstein bild via Getty Images

Millennials and Gen Z know the juice experience as taking a bottle out of the fridge, pouring it into a glass, and putting it back in. Juicing can’t be more complicated than that, can it? Well, baby boomers may juice their fruit, freeze it, let it thaw, put in ice, and then drink it. If they want more the next day, they have to repeat the entire process.

Sure, juice comes with sugar and fat that your body doesn’t need. But why juice it yourself when you can buy a sugar-free variety?

Metal Detectors Aren’t Fun

terrain technician from the state office for the preservation of historical monuments tells participants of a course how to properly use a metal detector.
Hauke-Christian Dittrich/picture alliance via Getty Images
Hauke-Christian Dittrich/picture alliance via Getty Images

Oh boy! A whole weekend of swinging around a metal pole and finding literally nothing! You can’t even talk or anything while you do it, or you might miss the beep. Like golf, millennials don’t take metal detecting as seriously as baby boomers do.

Some baby boomers will go out metal detecting every weekend only to find old bottlecaps and scraps of miscellaneous metal. We can’t all find ancient Viking treasure, so why keep trying?

Who Honestly Likes TV Dinners?

TV dinner on twitter
Twitter/@TVDinnerAndChil
Twitter/@TVDinnerAndChil

We all have the baby boomers to thank for TV dinners and canned food. Apparently, the more processed the meal was, the better it tasted. Millennials prefer fresh food and veggies so much that companies like General Mills have had to cut 575 jobs and stores.

Not only do fresh meals taste better, but they’re also a lot healthier for people. Frozen meal trends have drifted toward just meat or main courses, which millennials cook alongside veggies and other fresh options. Even that’s healthier than baby boomer TV dinners.

They Still Scrub With Bar Soap

holding bar soap at the Saint-Vincent abbey in Chantelle
THIERRY ZOCCOLAN/AFP/Getty Images
THIERRY ZOCCOLAN/AFP/Getty Images

Bar soap: slippery, slimy, and sticky all at the same time. How is that possible? Nobody knows, but it somehow manages to become the most annoying way to wash your body in the planet’s history. Somehow, though, baby boomers still buy it.

In 2014, CNN brought up that bar soap sales could be declining because of what they call the “Bar soap is for old people” theory, considering that 60% of people over 65 use it. Liquid soap is far easier either way.