People Who Have Clearly Never Heard The Phrase “Beggars Can’t Be Choosers”

Sometimes people find themselves in sticky situations. They lose a job, or they had a rough start, or they just need a helping hand. Asking for help can be a tough thing to do. Not for these people, though. These people have no problem asking for help, and then asking for more help, and then offering nothing in return.

Keep reading for someone who wants to “collab” with an x-ray tech, a guy who wasn’t satisfied with his miracle, and the least appealing Tinder profiles I have ever seen.

The Princess And The Memory Foam

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Photo Credit: Influka / Reddit

This is somehow both infuriating and so entertaining. Why do people think they’re entitled to free stuff? Everything costs money— whether you get it from the store or from a person on Facebook.

Memory foam doesn’t grow on trees, you know. It is extremely synthetic.

When Free Just Isn’t Enough

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Photo Credit: smell_my_mule / Reddit

Am I following this correctly? If somebody offers you a free piano, and you are interested in getting that piano, then they should have to pay to get that piano to you?

It would be cheaper to leave the thing on the side of the road.

X-Ray Collab, Like Comment Subscribe

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Photo Credit: Hdalby33 / Reddit

Imagine if an x-ray tech’s resume was enhanced by the clout of their patients. Like, if they just listed every person they x-rayed from most famous to least famous, and that’s how they got a job?

A chest is a chest, dude. Nobody cares about this “huge opportunity.”

What Would Jesus Do?

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Photo Credit: RainlessBloodberry / Reddit

Isn’t Jesus supposed to be a magical miracle worker? He wouldn’t need a private jet. He’d just teleport places or turn water into a jet ski.

Nobody really needs a private jet, least of all a televangelist. Everyone can see him on TV — he doesn’t have to fly anywhere to spread his message.

Not Even Close

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Photo Credit: lietomepls / Reddit

It looks like the makeup artist had that picture ready. She must keep it in a special folder for moments exactly like this.

Fifteen dollars isn’t even close to fifty dollars. I mean, I guess they sound similar. Basing your bargaining tactic on sound probably isn’t the best move.

Every Graphic Designer Knows The Struggle

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Photo Credit: caspershomie / Reddit

Why do people think that exposure is as good as money? Exposure does nothing if nobody is willing to pay for art. People who work in design provide a service, and they deserve to be paid for that service.

Keep reading for a family who is hungry— for a very specific kind of food.

Lol “work”

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Photo Credit: Hdalby33 / Reddit

There is so much respect for bass players in the initial post, and then it all went downhill. First no pay, and then the kicker, Lol “work.”

Sorry bro, but making music is definitely work. Just because people aren’t willing to pay you to do it, doesn’t mean it’s not a legitimate job for people with actual talent.

Come Clean Up My Garage For The Low Low Price Of $150

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Photo Credit: Jmb5963 / Reddit

Nothing in that pile of trash is worth $150. Maybe if she wanted to pay me to pick up her garbage, I would accept $150 to transport it.

That pile looks like house vomit, and I absolutely do not want to clean it up. Not my problem, lady.

Some Pretty Specific Dietary Requirements

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Photo Credit: TheRealMynz / Reddit

Do you think they’re hungry because they can’t afford food, or because they’re vegan?

Honestly, most vegan food is pretty cheap, so this isn’t that outrageous. It’s just that the specialty vegan food marketing for rich people from California comes with a hefty price tag.

She Sounds Like A Great Catch

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Photo Credit: ST00PKID / Reddit

Anyone who is “bored,” “bores easily,” and “looking to be entertained” is probably a boring person.

The whole “a lot to handle” thing isn’t a great sign either. Keep reading for a comic that perfectly illustrates how it feels to be a working artist.

Babysitter Wanted, Must Be In College

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Photo Credit: goldbricker83 / Reddit

How delusional do you have to be to offer $75 per week for babysitting four kids 13 hours a day? Who in their right mind would take that offer?

Nobody you want around your kids would take that offer. If you don’t want to shell out money for child care, maybe invest in some reliable birth control.

This One Is A Keeper

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Photo Credit: Imgur

This one is checking every box. Horse girl: check. Divorced: check. Racist: check. Baggage: check, check, and check.

I blame the homeschooling. Nothing good can come of learning algebra in the isolation of your own home. That stuff drives people to call their pets “fur babies.”

How It Feels To Be An Artist

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Photo Credit: Imgur

Cyanide & Happiness back at it again with the relatable comics. I’m pretty sure this is what every artist would like to do to everyone who offers them “exposure” instead of actual money.

Artists don’t want fame. They want to be able to pay their bills.

Needs A Miracle, But Not That One

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Photo Credit: Imgur

Apparently, a spontaneous job offer is not a miracle. What does he think a miracle looks like?

Does he want the red sea to part to reveal a shining pile of money on the sea floor? Does he want Jesus to return holding a bag of cash labeled, “Tim from Michigan?”

Poor Selection At The Food Bank

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Photo Credit: Imgur

That honestly sounds like a very good food haul. I would be more than happy to receive all of that stuff. And I’m sorry, but I do “get her wrong.” She doesn’t seem grateful at all.

Juice is not that healthy. Drink water. Save money at the dentist.

Nice Try, Ticket Lady

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Photo Credit: Verzhal / Reddit

This girl has been desperately trying to sell her festival tickets for weeks. Problem is, the festival is nowhere near sold out.

That “Haha” is a nice touch. We’ll see who’s laughing when nobody buys her tickets and she’s stuck paying for a festival she has no intention of attending.

I Want It That Way (Ain’t Nothin But A Heartache)

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Photo Credit: Skatene / Reddit

She probably needs a couch with legs because she has bed bugs all over her home and she thinks if the couch doesn’t touch the ground it won’t get bed bugs on it.

Or maybe it’s something less gross like she has a cat and doesn’t want him to get squished under a lower couch? Let’s hope it’s the second option.

I’d Like To Have A Family BBQ— Would You Mind Supplying Everything?

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Photo Credit: R3sid3n7_3vi1 / Reddit

Newsflash: nowhere in the name of this “Buy-Sell-Trade” Facebook group does it say “charity” or “give food away for free.”

I don’t understand how people think it’s ok to ask for stuff like this. I guess it must have worked in the past— squeaky wheels and all that nonsense.

Is This Even Real?

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Photo Credit: Imgur

Everything about this screams worst case scenario. I find it hard to believe that this is an actual Tinder post.

Who would advertise all of this awful information? And if it’s just how you hold up your neck, maybe hold up your neck differently? Angles are everything.

Literally, Beggars Should Not Be Choosers

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Photo Credit: mysticalmisogynistic / Reddit

I wonder if this sign works for him? I think some people might be impressed by the audacity of it all and just hand him a twenty dollar bill. Not very many people would do that, but a few might.

This guy should be the poster child for the “beggars can’t be choosers” movement.