If you’re looking to be inspired to rush out of your house and change the world, this article probably isn’t going to achieve that. If you’re looking to have your faith restored in humanity in these otherwise rocky times, you might be a little disappointed.
But, if you live with the mindset that laughter is the best medicine, then prepare to be healed. This article explores the mindless people we are fortunate enough not to be but are absolutely thankful for. These are those weird, drunk, and mildly insane friends who keep us laughing. Let’s pour one out for them.
The Face Of A Sponge Who is NOT Enjoying Their Life Choices
Photo Credit: Reddit / loganb185
This is the face of someone who had it all and lost it. SpongeBob was on top of the world and it all came crumbling down very quickly.
Blame it on the drugs, alcohol, or excessive amount of Krabby Patties, but no matter how you look at it SB isn’t a happy camper. It’s hard to blame him — puking out people all day seems exhausting.
That Leg Though
So can we just quickly talk about scooters for a second? No one has ever looked “cool” riding one of these no matter how hard they try.
Now back to the picture which looks like two people are, uh, having some fun. SIKE, turns out it’s just one bro with a weird leg tattoo and some perfect timing.
“Don’t You Dare Rear End Me”
Photo Credit: Instagram / @streetcatto
This is just a basic strategy to keep cars from tailgating you, and we can all get behind it. While you might be a bit terrified but the aesthetic of the baby head, it probably has an undeniable success rate.
This is the type of baby you see in your nightmares, and the longer I look at it, the more I regret my endorsement of the strategy.
Coming up, a man’s head which hilariously looks like his interior. You’ll have to take a double look.
Welcome To The Neighborhood!
This is straight out of the movie Step Brothers and their playbook. When the neighbor you love is moving and you don’t want them to, these are the stunts you have to pull.
When a potential buyer pulls up, it’s imperative to make the surrounding houses look absolutely nuts. Strap a loaded cannon to your front door, cut your lawn in the nude, and put out these decorative items.
Yes, That’s A Bomb In A Server Room
Photo Credit: Reddit / TheSomerandomguy
This is the type of bombs I’m talking about in the previous slide. Imagine sifting through a filing cabinet only to find a missile hiding back there.
Let’s hope the person who found this didn’t have organizational OCD because this would be doubly shocking. Not only are the cords in a chaotic state, but also have the potential to explode at any given moment.
Looks Like Leather To Me
Photo Credit: Instagram / @tank.sinatra
It should be interesting to note that nearly 60% of men start going bald by the age of 70.
For all the men laughing it up at the fact that this guy’s head looks like the interior of his car (which is funny), over 50 million men in the US alone are close to being bald themselves.
The hilarious result of a wrestling move exposing a girl’s make up is coming up.
Way Too Excited To Have Her Eyes Poked Out
Photo Credit: Imgur
Where was this guy when I wanted to poke my eyes out while watching the House Of Wax starring Paris Hilton?
While it certainly takes a man with a ton of confidence to gauge his wife’s eyeballs, it takes an even more impressive person to be laughing through it. It can’t feel good for her but she’s a real trooper.
The Next American Mousie Warrior
Photo Credit: Twitter / @EYEEMOJI
Here’s the scenario — you wake up in the middle of the night, turn over to see this little ninja mouse crawling up your wall. What do you do?
There’s really only two options to follow through on. You either go straight to your laptop and sign him up online for the new season of American Mousie Warrior, or, you call up the producers of Stuart Little and immediately make a sequel movie based on this little star.
FROM THE TOP ROPE
Photo Credit: Twitter / @PacoSZN
If you’ve ever heard the term “cake face” before, well, here you go. While many have fallen victim to the suplex, only a few have had their face actually fall off.
Can we just talk about how bizarre the whole idea of makeup is in the first place? Who was the first person to think, “you know what would make me look better? This weird powder and black paint around my eyes.”
Just ahead, a purse that also doubles as a boujee ski mask and it’s super confusing.
A Serial Killer Does, End Of Story
Photo Credit: Twitter / @dasiyed
When police are interviewing suspects to find out who the murderer was, they ask specific questions that should give them a signal as to whether they go their person.
One of those questions is whether they skin their strawberries before they eat them. If they answer “yes” then they have an immediate investigation into that person because it’s a tell-tale sign.
This Is The Definition Of Fake News
While the President of the United States may have coined the term “fake news,” it’s actually being used wrong.
The only time that it should be used is when it’s referring to this kid’s shirt. First of all, hippos don’t have horns and if they did the human race would be dead because they’re aggressive enough as it is. Second of all, hippos are never happy. End of story.
When You Want A Ski Mask To Rob A Bank, But Also Want To Wear Louis Vuitton
Photo Credit: Reddit / AlfieTorpedo
There is a demographic of bank robbers and thieves that want to follow through on their heist, but also want to look good doing it.
The established bad guys know that they’ll be seen by many people on the in-house cameras, so they don’t want to be wearing your run-of-the-mill ski mask. They want LV or nothing.
Coming up, the hero we both want and need on a Friday night. He’s stumbled his way into this article. Literally.
He May Be Lonely, But He’s Not Alone
Photo Credit: Twitter / @bootyslime
While all of you try to keep your long distance friendships alive and struggling, this man is quite the opposite.
He has a goblin that dresses just like him and is willing to do anything he wants. While I’ve never believed that goblins make loyal friends, this picture is surely changing my mind.
“What Are Y’all Eating In There?”
How dare you decided to eat a Ben and Jerry’s ice cream pint while driving through the Sahara Desert.
At that point, you’re just asking the giraffes (who have famously loved the ice cream) to literally smash through your window to get a taste. This trip went from the Sahara desert to the Sahara dessert really quickly. Get it?
The Real Crime Would’ve Been The Wasted Beer
Photo Credit: Imgur / @Throwawayconfession20
We all have that one friend who always gets way too drunk and ends up getting in trouble for making dumb decisions. They get into pointless fights with strangers over five dollar drinks, steal pizza, or just be an idiot in general.
You may think that’s a lead up to me saying that this guy is an idiot, but I refuse. He’s smart. No beer gets left behind. This police officer didn’t specify where he was to dump his beer.
Want to see the scariest thing on the road? That’s just ahead.
When You Want To Look Presentable, But Also Want To Be Ready For A Sword Fight
Photo Credit: Twitter / @elpheltvalentin
This is the definition of a power move on public transportation. He wants to look presentable, but also wants to be prepared for the unpredictability of riding the bus.
Subways and buses always house the weirdest crew of people. If one of them decides he wants to have a medieval dual you HAVE to be ready.
“Dad, Get Off Your Phone At The Table Please. It’s Rude”
Photo Credit: Instagram / @tank.sinatra
While many parents and older generations have put off the idea of fully submitting to technology, this picture shows that they’ve totally caved.
Just because they’ve committed to being addicted to phones and the internet, doesn’t mean that they’re good at it. The war between parents and technology will exist for a long time.
Where Are The “Oversize Load” Signs?
Photo Credit: Reddit / CaptainSkull22
It’s only a matter of time before we start seeing real clones of dinosaurs prancing around our neighborhoods.
The emergence of these prehistoric creatures is going to open up a lot of different jobs. Here we see a T-Rex who is very lazy (which we can relate to) and is using Dino Uber to get from Pittsburgh to Toronto to cheer on its favorite basketball team.
Sir, That’s Not A Hot Tub
Anyone who has gone to a music festival that has lasted more than a day of soaking in the sun can relate to this.
Anytime you can find the shade you take your time. Sometimes the only shade at the festival is in a portable washroom but you got to do what you got to do.
Fake It Till You Make It
Photo Credit: Instagram / @__antisocial_butterfly__x
Millenials are willing to do anything to make sure they get a good Instagram pic. They’ll literally hang off skyscrapersers just to ensure they get 100 likes.
This girl’s ankle is getting ravaged by this little monkey, but she remains composed because she knows this is her “good angle.”