Let’s be honest, we’ve all lied on our resumes at one point. No one actually knows how to create a detailed Microsoft Excel sheet or set up a Google calendar, but I bet 90% of the workforce says they can. In such a competitive job market, you have to be willing to do anything to get the job.
It’s all fun and games until you get the job and your boss asks you to demonstrate one of those skills you made up. Everyone here lied on their resume to get the job, and now we get to witness it go up in flames. One fake pilot was so out of their element that they literally spelled out a cry for help.
Not The Best Previous Experience Or Diet
Photo credit: Imgur
Dane Roy must have some serious skills to transition from ice cream sales to college football. All those kids out there training for hours each day in the hopes they’ll get scouted for a team should clearly consider a career change.
I’m not interested in football, but how do I land a gig selling and eating ice cream all day?
I Think We All Know Who Lost
Photo credit: crazyasianAC / Reddit
This poor guy knew what he was getting into and still went through with it, and that makes him one of the bravest people I know.
Seriously, he knew enough to get the competition sanctioned speedo, so he knew that he would be surrounded by ripped, tanned men. He at least should have gotten a spray tan. You know what they say — if you can’t tone it, tan it.
They Make It Look So Easy At The Fair
Photo credit: @Ibarrrra / Twitter
Every time I got cotton candy at the fair I thought it looked easy enough to do myself, but now I’m questioning everything. It appears that things can go downhill quick with cotton candy machines.
Having to handle this while hundreds of little kids are crying for cotton candy sounds like the worst possible situation.
If you thought it was embarrassing to ask how to work the till at your first fast-food job, this pilot coming up had to ask an entire city for help.
Sheepdog Thought He Was Applying To Be A Sleep Dog
Photo credit: Imgur
Applying for the open position of resident sheepdog without any experience seems easy enough, but this doggo quickly got overwhelmed. This pup has no bark and no bite, he’s just 100% happy.
It looks like a career change to a companion dog might be in his future.
I Have The Same Previous Experience
Photo credit: Jorogasm / Reddit
One of my favorite pastimes is reading the descriptions people choose to list for themselves on reality TV shows. One contestant on The Bachelor famously listed her occupation as “Free Spirit.”
None of that tops Alex’s “Former Child” experience. It got him on TV, so maybe it can get jobs for the rest of us former children.
When You Have To Show Off One Of Your Listed Skills
Photo credit: @CasualHumor / Twitter
The most awkward moment at your new job is when your boss calls you out to demonstrate one of those listed skills, and you end up looking like an idiot.
Luckily, for most of us, that embarrassment is confined to a small office. For this guy, he had to tell the world he didn’t know what he was doing.
Coming up, sometimes when you mess up so bad you just have to own up to it and run as far away as possible.
Much News, Very Doge, Such Television
Photo credit: IEat73 / Reddit
In an era of fake news, who can you honestly trust? Are there really any credentials anymore to who should be informing the public?
If you have to choose between a Shiba in a suit and Anderson Cooper, I think the decision is obvious.
It’s A Catastrophe
Photo credit: @_youhadonejob1 / Twitter
Sometimes you can slide under the radar for a long time without anyone noticing how unqualified you are. The trick is to blend in and copy whatever your coworkers are doing.
This cat has it down to a science and looks way more inviting than the lion statues.
When You Choose The Wrong Contractors
Photo credit: troll_detector_9001 / Reddit
There are all these apps out there for choosing the best contractors or repair people for your home projects, and it looks like they don’t work.
At least they were kind enough to let people know what it was supposed to be, just in case it wasn’t clear.
Nowadays you can just send in all your lies on your resume via e-mail, but when you get to the interview stage it’s not easy to sell those lies.
How Do I Turn On The Bluetooth?
Photo credit: jendzd / Imgur
The Apple Bluetooth mouse is one of the most frustrating pieces of technology. It never connects, runs out of battery so fast, and the charging port is on the bottom in the most awkward case.
This hamster might be more effective than an $80 mouse.
The Barking Butcher
Photo credit: jahma / Reddit
Half the battle of lying on your resume is improvising when the time comes. Everyone can use a knife, but not everyone can perfectly fill and wrap a sausage. This doggo is doing the best they can, and they’re probably doing better than I could.
Beware of dog: he makes a mean honey garlic breakfast sausage.
Most Intimidating Job Interview Ever
Photo credit: @peachesanscream / Twitter
Job interviews in public spaces are some of the best moments you can stumble into because you get to hear someone try to tell their lies confidently.
This pigeon probably doesn’t have advanced garbage picking skills and is only adequate at attacking tourists, but his bosses won’t know that until it’s too late.
The next dog is a perfect example of how quickly things change when you pass the probation period at work.
Not Even Attempting To Complete The Job Requirements
Photo credit: quatzakotelwoingenau / Imgur
Some people don’t even bother attempting once they’ve passed that three-months probation period at work. Once they have that guaranteed paycheck, all the effort goes out the door.
He isn’t even trying to be scary. This dog is basically inviting intruders into the yard. What a waste of a sign.
The Intern That Lied About Loving Sports
Photo credit: xvat / Imgur
Not everyone is a sports fan, so let me break this down for you. The Carolina Panthers and Denver Broncos were the two teams competing in Superbowl 50. The leaping jungle cat on the left is the logo for the Florida Panthers, which isn’t even a football team, it’s a hockey team.
Whatever intern got the job to make this graphic definitely got fired.
Trying To Blend In With Your Qualified Coworkers
Photo credit: @8ENIGMADJ / Twitter
Often, lying on your resume means putting your game face on and doing whatever you can to keep the lie going once you have the job. If that means disguising yourself as a dinosaur, then so be it.
Just don’t lie about something you can’t be, like when Rachel Dolezal lied about being black and became president of Spokane’s NAACP.
It’s not nice to joke about one family’s fate coming up, but they’re definitely regretting their choices now.
You Even Lied About Your Foundational Skills
Photo credit: isaacjohnson1996 / Reddit
Lying about something is fine if your job is something that you can’t possibly mess up. But lying about your bricklaying skills and then being asked to do the foundation of a building is a lawsuit waiting to happen.
The only thing these bricks are holding up is the confidence of the lying employee.
At Least They’re The Most Confident Movers
Photo credit: Reddit
This is what happens when you let your brother and his friends help you move. They may not be the most truthful, but you have to respect how much they trust their shrink wrap.
Hopefully, they’re not traveling over any dirt roads or speed bumps because that looks like a disaster waiting to happen.
Ready For Snout-To-Snout Combat
Photo credit: leles75 / Reddit
Of all the dogs to be recruited into a special forces unit, a dachshund is probably the worst possible choice. They aren’t intimidating, they’re not that fast, and their arms aren’t even long enough to hold a weapon.
On the bright side, they’re super cute and apparently great liars.
Not The Pilot I Need, But The Pilot I Want
Photo credit: Reddit
This Shephard would have been perfect for a special forces unit, yet he somehow found his way into co-piloting an emergency helicopter.
He probably only applied for the job because he knew he could swing a great profile picture from it. Every lady loves a man in a uniform.
Don’t Hire That Third-Party Home Inspector
Photo credit: MuffMagician / Reddit
In all seriousness, it is awful that this family is without a home thanks to a natural disaster. But you know they’re looking around at their neighbor’s roofs wondering what home inspector they all used that you passed over.
It just goes to show that a little extra screening at the start will avoid a major headache in the end.