As a teacher, you hear an interesting excuse as to why something isn’t done almost every day. Actually, I think it’s safe to say that it happens literally every day. There’s always an influx of dogs eating homework, or a whole slew of funerals the day assignments are due.
But, some students are little savvier than that. They get more creative with their excuses and many of them are outlandishly hilarious. Teachers took to Reddit to share the best excuse they’ve ever heard, and honestly, I’m passing these down to my kids.
Living In The Past
Look, it’s hard to blame the kid. You wake up after hitting the snooze button on your alarm seven times. You have about four seconds to get to class on time so you rush.
You don’t really think about where you’re going, but your body goes with the routine you had when you were in middle school.
This Is Just Facts
I mean, how can you compete with that? I don’t know about you, but I’m taking that excuse and using it for everything I’m late to.
This is actually bulletproof. As a professor, you have to concede that he’s officially broken down the late barrier. You’re welcome for showing you this.
Change It Up
It’s important to change up the excuses. Look, we all have assignments that we procrastinate on to the point of no return.
Sometimes you just have to accept the late penalty, and other times we just have to think of elaborate excuses that the teacher hasn’t heard before. The dog eating the printer is one of them.
Surprise Beep Test Day
This is hilarious. I mean, the amount of time girls spend on their hair is actually insane. It’s like the world is falling apart if they get any sort of rain or sweat into their flow.
It’s kind of funny that the teacher took that excuse and doubled down on her exercise. Kind of savage, though.
Check Your Sources
I’m going to go out on a limb and say that this is probably a good excuse for being late. I mean, missing the bus is just a meh excuse, but almost being blown up will probably suffice.
If someone actually came in with this elaborate excuse and it was false, that’d be a problem.
The Croissant King
Such a dad move. If it’s in the fridge, it’s fair game, plain and simple. Unless you labeled the croissants saying that they’re for a project, how do you expect your dad NOT to eat them?
I mean, if I’m hungry in the middle of the night and see freshly baked croissants, I’m not just eating six of them, I’m eating all of them.
Back To Bed I Go
Anyone who is reading this in California or Florida, you probably can’t relate. But, the snow sucks. Ice sucks. Both of them suck ten times more in the morning.
trust me, brushing the snow off of a car or chipping away the frost from the windshield is my own personal version of hell.
This is getting deep. Like, really deep. This is an example of a kid using the teacher’s own words against him or her.
This is adaptation at its finest. This student wouldn’t be able to use this excuse in literally any other classroom and get away with it. Bravo, bravo.
Don’t you dare leave that Subway without getting the right order. Here’s the thing though, you literally watch the employee make the sandwich in front of your face.
So, the premise that they made your sandwich wrong really means that YOU made your sandwich wrong. Call me old fashion, but I think I’m right.
Hard To Say
If you’ve never fallen down a set of stairs, you’re probably not a human being. I mean, all of us have done it. It’s usually incredibly painful and reputation-ruining.
So, it’s not all that farfetched to assume that someone did fall down the stairs and blacked out. Or, he could’ve been blacked out for an entirely different reason.
That’s A No-No
There aren’t very many ways a cafeteria lady can insult you, but this is one of them. Think about it? Usually, they give you the highlight of your day — food.
So on most days they’re your hero. They’re your mentor. They’re your savior. But, not today. Not after they give you an all-bread stromboli.
Just Don’t Ask Questions
I think that it’s safe to just not ask these questions in public. It’s pretty obvious what he was doing. He was sitting in the shower letting the water run over his face and contemplating the existential questions of life. Duh.
Why else do you shower? Not to get clean, that’s for sure.
You Can’t Change Who You Are
You can’t change who you are. Some of us are just naturally late people. I don’t know why. I don’t know why I don’t feel the need to show up on time to things.
While other people frantically try to be on time, me and many other people would rather dilly-dally.
That’s A Fair Point
I don’t know what every school’s jail policy is in terms of exams, but ours was pretty strict. If you ended up going to jail and missing the exam, there’s not a lot of mercy shown.
It also turns out that this person wasn’t joking. They actually spent the weekend in jail. Yikes.
Cat’s Are Evil
This shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone. Cats are going to take over the world whether we like it or not. They’re first goal is to make us distrust each other by being late for things and then blaming it on the cat.
Cats will do this without any hesitation. Be aware.
You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know
It’s hard to blame this person for not knowing if they weren’t here. This is a great strategy for getting out of a test as well.
If you just don’t show up to class and learn the material, the teacher can’t force you to take the test because you don’t know it. Right?
When The Sleep Was THAT Good
Have you ever had such a deep sleep that you wake up and don’t know where you are, who you are, or what you’re doing? No, I’m not talking about the times you wake up from a blackout on a Sunday morning.
This parent obviously had one of those sleeps. They’re all over the place. Hard to blame them.
Another Classic Excuse
Let’s be honest, we’ve all done it. We walk into the classroom a little late for our pop quiz only to tell our teacher that the pine tree outside of the school decided to tackle us.
I heard it before, and I’ll hear it again. There is the ODD chance that someone actually gets tackled by a tree and pinned down. This is one of them.
This is an interesting tactic. Usually we pay our smart friends to do our homework for us. But this student took a different approach. I guess they wanted to put the work burden on a homeless guy.
Interesting strategy, I’ll be curious to see if it pays off for him.
Not A Big Deal
Most kids can barely eat their cereal without spilling it all over the floor, meanwhile, this student is literally helping cows give birth. Well, not helping the cow. Oh, you know what I mean.
I mean, did you REALLY help a cow give birth if you didn’t take picture? No.