Believe it or not, Christmas is approaching faster than you can say “Santa isn’t real”. If you’re like me and buy your gifts SUPER early, you’re going to appreciate this article.
I love a good Christmas shopping spree. But, there are some items that should absolutely stay off your list no matter how tempting they are. I did you a favor and compiled them all into this article.
How Many Friends Can She Lose?
If you put on this shirt, you can play a fun game called “how many friends will I lose if I go out in public wearing this?”
I don’t have the exact number, but I think it would be safe to say that you’d lose ALL OF THEM. I’m not a scientist, though.
Grandma’s Presents Are Always The Best
This is a well put together present from grandma. Not only does she have the TMNT socks, but also mixed in some TMNT Kraft Dinner. All of this will get put into good use if you’re an eight-year-old.
The problem is that the recipient of this gift is 31 years old.
Leave It Up To Your Imagination
I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t mind a gift like this. Batteries are annoying to go out and buy. But, buying a remote control car is fun.
A gift like this allows you to pick your own present. Let’s be honest, as a 35-year-old man, no one is getting you that remote control car.
I mean, when you think about it that way, it kind of depresses me. Maybe his parents conceived him on or around Christmas?
Perhaps he was happiest when he was a fetus. He got a cozy place to sleep every night. He had food delivered right to his mouth. He didn’t have to pay taxes.
Just the thought of someone using this makes me want to vomit in my mouth slightly. Fun fact — the belly button has the most concentrated bacteria presence out of anywhere on your body.
Yes, you need to clean it. No, you don’t need a brush to get the lint out. Just shower, please.
I hate everything to do with this picture. First of all, this beard needs to be cleaned up a bit (that’s more of a preference on my part).
Second of all, the play on words sucks. Third of all, this would be the most annoying person to sit beside at work.
If you’re like me, you have grandparents who guilt trip you into everything. They’ll call you and ask why you haven’t talked to them in the past 24 hours when you know they could drop dead at any time.
Everything revolves around death. This is a gift they would give you just to remind you that their life-clock is going tick tock.
Say It Loud, Say It Proud
You can thank your friends for this one. I mean, can we just talk about the friend zone for a second?
I would argue that it’s the hardest zone to get out of. Yes, it’s even harder than getting out of the comfort zone, which seems nearly impossible at times.
You Asked For Frozen, You Got Frozen
Apparently, frozen veggies aren’t exactly what this little girl wants. She was looking to get the movie Frozen, but didn’t specify.
I’m not going to lie, getting some frozen veggies isn’t exactly great if you’re a kid, but if you’re an adult — this is a great gift. Very usable.
You Can’t Not Pass This Up
I mean, the resemblance is uncanny. If you look like someone famous, you need to exploit that. You should wear it as a badge of honor.
This kid just absolutely HAS to rock this costume, not only for Halloween, but every day. He isn’t loving it but too bad. At least he won’t shoot his eye out.
When you have a traditional grannie, you’re going to get some interesting presents. This girl just moved in with her boyfriend so her grandma came in hot with the long dress.
I swear I’ve seen something like this in every horror movie I’ve watched this year. That thing triggers nightmares.
It’s The Thought That Counts
When it comes to Christmas presents, it’s the thought that counts. If someone took the time to go out and get you a card, you should be thankful.
With that being said, why even bother putting something like this into a card? It’s almost more disrespectful than if you didn’t put anything at all.
A Good Sport
Believe it or not, there is such thing as a “good present receiver”. They’re the ones who can hide their true feelings about a gift and ALWAYS pretend they like it.
For example, this dad. His kid got him this onesie and he’s been rocking it ever since. Just being a good sport.
Uh, Thanks, Nicole
This is the gift you give your co-worker that you really don’t like. This is the co-worker that you sit beside and are annoyed by them about 78% of the time.
You don’t really care what they think of you, but you still have to get them a gift. This is the best $25 lost of all time.
When TSA Gets Into Your Presents
This is why you should never travel with presents. They are going to get sabotaged by the TSA agents who are just trying to do their job, but very few of us can pass up the mystery of a Christmas present.
If you think you’d get back a present that a TSA agent liked, you’re wrong. That’s just not going to happen.
Well, This Is Facts
I mean, for once there’s a cup of coffee that actually tells you the truth. Like, I would appreciate a wine bottle that had “when this is empty, you’re going to be puking your guts out”.
That way I know what I’m getting myself into. This lets me know I’ll be spending my morning on the toilet. Worth it, though.
This Was A Mistake
When you daughter said that she wanted to be more handy, you should’ve known that getting her a screwdriver probably isn’t the answer.
She was so ecstatic about the gift that she wanted to permanently share her love. This is some Carrie Underwood type stuff going on here. Love it.
She Got What She Asked For
Sometimes you have to be more precise with what you ask for. If you want a Coach bag, show him the bag or else he’s going to pick the first thing he sees that reminds him of a coach bag.
Not going to lie, I like this bag more than the one she probably wanted anyway.
It’s always an odd gift when you get a picture of your childhood. It’s even weirder if you’re posing on a fake dinosaur head with a rifle.
I mean, I can only imagine how nostalgic this guy is feeling, living through the eight-year-old dinosaur hunter that he used to be.
This Was Made With Malice
I can guarantee you that this product was made by people who don’t have kids. They sat around in a boardroom and asked, “what can we make that kids will love but parents will hate?” and came up with this.
This is a crappy gift (pun intended) but still looks super fun.