It’s 2018, and we’re still working towards equality between the sexes. Which is wild when you stop to consider the fact that Napoleon wouldn’t have conquered all that land unless Josephine was there to buy him his favorite breakfast food. God forbid he buy his own groceries.
I’m not saying women are better than men. I am saying it’s a bit curious that men can’t even handle having a cold. Thanos needed to find six magical stones to destroy half the universe. But all women need to do to destroy half the population is to stop babysitting them and leave them to their own devices.
Who Knew Pouring Liquid Into A Bathtub Could Go Wrong
Anyone who has seen the episode of Friends where Chandler discovers bubble baths know that for some reason, men are rarely introduced to them. It explains why they can’t even figure out how to start one.
Men will submerge their bodies in ice baths but refuse to pour a glass of wine, grab some chocolate, and relax.
And They Say Women Are Clingy
Men love to say that their girlfriends are so clingy, but this guy is holding onto his partner’s toe. Foot fetish or not, he is proof that men want love and attention just as much as women.
Their simultaneous desire for love and refusal to give it is why they make no sense.
This Man Quite Literally Needs Dee To Survive
One of two things happens when you become an old man. You either stop caring and become independent, or you turn into a sappy mush of emotions that need your partner to survive. I think we know which one Dee’s husband is.
The photo coming up is a reminder of the struggle single dads must go through without a woman to fall back on.
Women Will Make Food Solely Because They Don’t Want To Deal With A Hangry Man
Men have (wrongly) believed for centuries that a woman’s place is in the kitchen when in reality, they just go there to escape their husbands.
Women know that if they feed the men in their life, then they will finally get a few moments of peace and quiet.
In 15 Years Jeremy Will Be Begging His Kid To Dress Appropriately
I understand that this is a relatively easy mistake to make. You’d think a one-piece item doesn’t need more clothing, but this is exactly the reason why mom doesn’t let dad dress the kids.
Just wait. By the time this girl is a teenager, dad will be begging to have that responsibility back.
RIP To All The Single Dads Who Have To Learn How To Do Hair
Photo credit: Addicted2Groove / Imgur
The one exemption with all of these examples is the single dads who take on both roles. They might not do it well, but they do it. Technically, the zip tie works, but a woman knows that a 100 pack of hair elastics is a simple $3 investment.
The next man couldn’t even be trusted to survive a three-day vacation.
Because Kim Knows Her Husband Will Try To Reenact The Hangover
Men have gone to Vegas and survived, but let’s be honest, your wife knows you better than you know yourself.
Kim knows he’ll get wild. Now, when he’s preparing to take his eighth shot of Drambuie off a dancer’s stomach, his wife can sleep soundly knowing he’ll get home safe.
A Moment Of Silence For Every Woman Who Has A Man In Her Life Who Is Sick
It’s a well-known fact between the women of the world that the only thing worse than childbirth is dealing with a Man-Cold.
Women will get up, go to work, drive the kids to soccer, all with the stomach flu. If men have the sniffles, it’s the end of the world.
Dad’s Cookies Won’t Fly At The Bake Sale
I’m not sure if men know this, but a lot of women really don’t care about baking. But they are forced to pick up the skill solely to support their kid’s football bake sale. This man tried his best to break the expectation of dads just swinging by the grocery store and buying a box of Oreos, but he’s already failing miserably.
Keep reading to find out why men should be forced to take classes.
Men After They Finally Experience A Pedicure
This is exactly what happens to a man after his wife divorces him and his coworkers buy him a gift package to the local spa. He finally figures out that proper facial cleansing and a scarf can take ten years off his appearance.
Pretty soon he’ll be jetting off to Cannes for an impromptu vacation to escape the haters.
The #1 Reason Why You Can’t Trust Guys Alone In The Grocery Store
The fact of the matter is that men will not buy grocery items necessary to survive, they will simply buy 18 of whatever is on sale.
If bread, meat, and cheese and on sale, then you’re golden. If pints of Ben & Jerry’s are on sale, then the entire family is out of luck. Have fun in your lactose coma.
We Know He Didn’t Write The Thank-You Cards After The Wedding
Why does card writing seem to be a special skill only known to women? All you do is fake excitement, tell the person you’re thankful to have them in their life, sign it, and move on. Guys would avoid phone calls and thank-you cards for their entire life if they could.
I thought men could at least handle the basics, but the photo coming up proves they can’t even open a bag correctly.
At Least This Guy Made An Attempt To Help Clean
Laugh all you want at this man who thought a bath bomb was toilet cleaner, but let’s all raise a glass to the fact he tried to clean in the first place.
By far the worst thing to clean is the toilet. And women know the damage done is 99% the fault of the man of the house.
After Having Kids, It Takes A While To Realize They’re Not The Center Of Attention Now
Guys claim not to be the center of attention, but why else would Alexander conquer half the world and name a bunch of places “Alexandria” if he didn’t want to be top dog?
This dad is going through a tough period where he realizes that another human being now takes priority over him.
So Apparently, Guys Can’t Even Open Bread Properly Without Assistance
I’m sure there are a lot of men in the world that would find the way this bread bag was opened offensive. But it stings a little deeper for the women of the world who know that the bread will go stale so much quicker. When it’s Thursday, and Jeff is complaining he doesn’t have bread for sandwiches, she won’t be there to save him.
Keep reading to see how one woman did her best to try and make doing the laundry appealing.
Take What You Get And Be Grateful
This man had a major freak out just because his wife bought him unfrosted Poptarts. Dude, chill. If you wanted frosted, then buy them yourself.
Why do men stab the stuff they hate? This is exactly like when Brutus went 0-10 and stabbed Julius Caesar.
Good Luck Getting Them Out Of Bed
No matter your sex or gender, everyone loves to sleep in. But men seem to love slapping the snooze button more than anyone else. Any woman who has tried to drag her man out of bed knows that it’s a chore.
A cactus beside the alarm clock is a genius way to avoid being the bad guy in the mornings.
Maybe They’ll Do Laundry If They Think The Snuggle Bear Is Cool
Women have spent centuries trying to figure out the magical way to make men do their own laundry.
They’ve tried refusing to date them when they get too smelly. Even the Tide Pod challenge didn’t inspire male teens to do laundry. Putting sunglasses on the Snuggle bear is their last-ditch attempt.
The Reason Why Women Outlive Men
Photo credit: SarahEnjel / Reddit
If you’re ever wondering why women live longer than men, it’s because of this. Women aren’t healthier, more active, or genetically superior. They just don’t do dumb stuff like paint a hallway while balancing on a door.
The best part of this is you know there is a woman behind the scenes that was going to warn him but decided to let him make his own decisions.
This Is Why Men Grow Up To Be Big Babies
You know this photo was taken mid-temper tantrum. Girls would be forced to deal with it themselves and do the walk of shame out of Wal-Mart.
This little boy is being carted off with a plunger while crying, and will probably still convince dad to buy him a chocolate bar at the checkout.