The Week in Fashion Prophecy, with Poppy Dixon of Adult Christianity

In last month's letters we received the following query, and since we have not yet addressed this topic in Fashion Prophecy we'll be devoting this month's issue to it: crossdressing.

Dear Poppy,
Since more women shave their armpits than do men, does this mean that if a man shaves his armpits that he is presenting himself in the garb/style of a woman? Just curious!
signed,
Confused in Canada

Crossdressing, does the Bible permit it? Let's look at the text which the Christian right uses to address the issue.

The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God.

Dueteronomy 22:5

So, if we're going by Mosaic law then yes, a man shaving his underarms would become unfit and unholy. However, as always, there is a loophole. We all know that bicycle racers and swimmers often shave their legs to cut down on drag. And these are all very manly men. So men can partake of seemingly feminine attire or grooming habits as long as their intentions are correct - to cut down on drag rather than to increase drag. This is why men that impersonate women are called "drag queens," because of air resistance.

Now it may take some mental gymnastics to think of a sport that would justify a man shaving under his arms. Perhaps the javelin? or curling? How about darts! If a man were playing darts over an extended period of time air resistance could impede his performance and friction could build leading to irritation in the underarm area, thereby diminishing the man's ability to score.

So if shaving under the arms is a sin for men is NOT shaving underarms and legs a sin for women? (It's taking all my strength in this case to not give my personal opinion, I'm sure you can guess). As far as the Bible is concerned everything is different for women and in the new testament we find our answer:

For if the woman be not covered, let her also be shorn: but if it be a shame for a woman to be shorn or shaven, let her be covered.

I Corinthians 11:6

If you're wearing a swimsuit or body-conscious resort wear you are NOT covered, so shave! And even though they didn't have silk or nylon hosiery back then I think that Paul's dictates would still apply, after all you're practically bare. Nothing but LEG should show under hose, not hair, not jewelry, not tattoos - okay, I'm sorry, that's just my opinion, I couldn't help it.

Now Paul, ever the diplomat, anticipated even then the bickering that would be attached to this issue and equivocated saying,<

...If any man seem to be contentious, we have no such custom, neither the churches of God.

I Corinthians 11:16

In truth it is a custom and you can make up your own mind. The only other thing Paul says about clothing is to not judge in favor of people wearing "gay clothes." (James 2:3) You have to be just as nice to all the drabulas out there as you are to the natty.

I'm sure I'm the last one on the block to know what a great place Ross is for all your cross-dressing needs. They have big shoes, I mean BIG! Last summer I bought white sandals with 5 inch heels for a mere pittance. (Yes, they are hibernating until May 1st.) So for any of you Adult Christians that are in transition hie thee to (C)Ross, dress for less.

Do you have a fashion question you'd like to ask?