How do you "grow" a church? Well in the late 60s Christians came up with the idea of bus ministries. As Jim Vineyard and Jerry Falwell testify in "Winning Souls Through Buses" bus ministries "put the 'go' in the Great Commission." While resistant to the use of buses to take children to SCHOOLS these white wonders will go to any length to introduce children to ignorance and superstition. In the early 70s 1500 Sunday School pupils rode Falwell's buses to the doors of Thomas Road Baptist Church.

Was this outreach program successful? What tactics did they use to bring these seekers to their knees? Read on, and prepare yourself for the body count.

First, the door-to-door invitations. When approaching someone's house,

Look for signs of children, for usually they will be your first riders. However, you expect about 20 percent of your riders to be adults if you will go after them, and more as you perfect your tactics.

Do not be too loud - but maybe they will give quick attention if they think the police are at the door! Certainly, that could not hurt.

After you have them at the church, separate the children and take them to their own special classes. Mr. Vineyard likes to act out Bible stories for the children, playing all the parts himself. If he wants to be especially frightening he has been known to take out his partial plate.

Here's part of his portrayal of Samson and Delilah

Dramatizing Samson's sad end, one can take a styrofoam head, insert eyes in the front, heat a bent spoon to simulate the kind of tool they may have used to pluck out his eyes, and actually remove the eyes from the styrofoam head. When we portrayed this sermon recently at Thomas Road, 53 youngsters accepted the Lord as Saviour.

Using a dagger which I carry in my belt the day this sermon is preached, I show exactly how Ehud said, "I have a message unto thee from God," and rammed that dagger into the fat belly of Eglon.

My personal favorite is the story of the Rich Man and Lazarus. Mr. Vineyard prepares two buckets, one with 5 lit candles to resemble hell. Then he fashions two puppets out of tin foil (so they won't burn). One he dresses in linen and purple to represent the rich man. The other is dressed in rags and he takes special efforts to make "all the sores plain."

Place both dummies on a string attached to a stick. Show Lazarus first, explaining about his sores and his sufferings, but emphasize his faith in Christ. Drop him down in hell (five burning candles in the bottom of the hell bucket). (Because of the foil, he does not burn.) Explain that the blood of Christ covers his sin, hence he is fireproof. Bring out the Rich man,...emphasize that he did not place his faith in Christ...and cannot get into paradise because of this. Wind up by dropping him into "hell." He will catch fire and blaze up.

What was the reaction of the children to this entertainment? "All the kids sat spellbound....As the rich man burned...one 7-year-old leaned over to his brother and whispered excitedly, 'That's real fire.'" The body count? Over 60.

Now when you're casting your net for sole you have to expect to get a few trash fish as well. How does brother Vineyard suggest handling misbehaving, recalcitrant children?

If a child continues to misbehave, we have a room at the rear of our platform which we call the "Diaper Room." We escort them there and make them sit facing the wall. The embarrassment of having to go to a room with such a name usually settles most children down.