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 "Oh, my God!!!!" I don't know how many times I said that over the weekend but I'm positive that those around me could tell you exactly. Miss Poppy tried SO hard to be on her best behavior, really, but though the spirit was willing the flesh was weak. I admit to taking the name of the Lord in vain, however I don't think I did it as egregiously as those around me for whom it was "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, all day long!" Though they may have been scandalized by my slips I was mortified by the use of the name "Jesus" in such close approximation to rants about homosexuals, women, and Jews, people with whom Jesus actually enjoyed spending time.
 Shiloh Youth Revival Center was a Jesus people hippie commune active throughout the United States in the 70's. I spent the greater part of my teen-aged years there. The 20th anniversary (of the ending) of Shiloh took place at beautiful Camp Harlow, a large Baptist retreat center with an olympic sized pool, water slide, dining hall and the usual camp accoutrements. I stayed in the women's dorm on a bunk bed and fell asleep to monotonous exchanges of "Praise God," "God is so awesome," "God is so faithful," etc. At first I thought they were doing that because they KNEW about me but, no, that's just how they are.
On an individual basis the people were very nice. Miss Poppy was determined to really listen and understand their positions so did not divulge much about herself. The few times I brought up what I thought were innocuous historic points of interest they were met with a range of blank to hostile stares causing me to think that Christianity is less threatened by science than history.
I won't divulge the fascinating, horrifying and enlightening things that people shared with me in confidence but I can share with you how they made me feel. Hardcore right wing Christians such as these have always intimidated me with their stony glaring and pointed interrogations and I came face to face with this many times during my visit. But what I came to understand was the depth of fear, confusion, disappointment, the need to matter, to be significant that comprised their social presentation. When I stopped listening to their words and listened to what they were saying from their hearts I ceased being intimidated and returned their hostile glares with warm smiles. More often than not they'd look away, ashamed. I would have felt sorry for them but would not condescend by letting them off the hook for the choices they have made.
John Higgins, the founder of Shiloh, lectured on Saturday night. He divulged that the inspiration for Shiloh came from the 60's religious potboiler, "The Cross and the Switchblade," by David Wilkerson. It's kind of like "Westside Story" with none of the music, dancing, humor or charm. Though the audience consisted predominantly of white, heterosexual Christians, Higgins railed against homosexuality, sodomy, oral sex, and President Clinton. The use of contempt as a means of emphasizing certain words and phrases was a style of Christian communication with which I was not previously familiar. It came off as defensive and bitter.
Higgins made promises to the group concerning exemption from Hell and an abundance of gifts from God. It was Christianity married to crass materialism. People who don't fully understand the grace of Jesus need to bundle him with other offers, loss leaders, special deals and promises concerning the next life. If he'd thrown in a few free drink tickets I'd have answered the altar call.
Higgins' vulgar presentation was followed by a moving testimony by David Grissanti, a former member. In the intervening years his sister had been killed and his brother had died of AIDS. He offered the verse, "Love worketh no ill to his neighbour: therefore love is the fulfilling of the law," Romans 13:10. This was the Shiloh I remembered.
 A large percentage of the participants were working on their second marriages. Many others were disturbed by this and said it wasn't 'of the Lord' and was adultery. They were unable to reconcile their distaste for the sin of divorce with their love for their friends and the prevalance of the practice. If they excluded divorced people, the churches would be decimated. Perhaps their attack on the 'sin of sodomy' is a concession to the fact that they don't know what to do about their own stoning-worthy sin of adultery.
I know that many of my dear readers have no idea what I find so appealing about Jesus on a personal level. But let me assure you it has nothing to do with concerning myself with human behavior. What distressed me the most about the event was the lack of faith in the love and grace of God. These people have put their faith in legislation, litigation, and enforcement of their beliefs. And in this sense they stand between the individual and God, as an impediment. As far as they're concerned they are the gate keepers and "no man cometh to the Father but through them." They've made the life and death of Jesus cheap and meaningless. And this, next to the hate they exhibit towards their neighbors, is the saddest thing of all.
My cousin Gerald, a very worldly and cultivated man, picked me up after the Sunday service and we made for the Hilton. It took 3 greyhounds to wash that taste out of my mouth. We traded our favorite Oscar Levant and Dorothy Parker bon mots. I unwound as I entertained him with the weekend's anecdotes. The bar was typical lackluster Hilton, but after Camp Harlow it was the promised land.
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