Features of the park will include Creation Theater, Garden of Eden, the Stoning of the Prostitute, the Last Supper, the Crucifixion, the Ascension, the Sighting of the Virgin, Judgement Day, the Oral Roberts Seed Money Shake Down, Jimmy Swaggart's Zipper, Robert Tilton-Whirl, the Pharisee Wheel and the Holy Roller Coaster.

The project will include a nearby hotel complex, Suite Jesus Resorts. Howard A. Knight Junior also claims to have heard the voice of Kevin Costner commanding him to build a Christian Massage Parlor, including the cryptic message, "If you build it, they will come." But a change in his dosage cleared up this confusing message.

SOURCE: San Francisco Chronicle and Examiner Sunday Magazine

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News of the affair flummoxed both supporters and opponents alike. THE Michael Bower who rescinded an employment offer to female attorney Robin Joy Shahar when her plans to marry another woman were discovered? THE Michael Bower who won a Supreme Court ruling upholding the Georgia law that denies privacy to consensual homosexual acts? THE Michael Bower who lobbied for the state's right to offer surveillance tapes of sexual offenses on a pay-per-view basis? THE Michael Bower who is lobbying to bring back the veil?

Reports of the Bower clan's relocation to Utah are as yet unconfirmed. A six month quarantine on out-of-state livestock could further burden this already persecuted family.

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How can you tell them that you'd exploit them all over again? Pat Robertson is accused of using NON-profit donations in a FOR profit venture. His failed, diamond-dabbling debacle, the Zairian African Development Agency, made use of both airplanes and a landing field owned by Operation Blessing.

Robertson claims to have paid Operation Blessing for aviation expenses in an effort to defray ministry costs. The IRS, however, has no record of these payments.

SOURCE: Maranatha Christian Journal

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Stealth Christian and ex-shirt model, Ralph Reed is leaving Pat Robertson and the Christian Coalition on September 1st to start his own 'political consulting firm', Century Strategies. The name Century Strategies was Reed's second choice, as Genco Olive Oil was already taken.

In his eight years as executive 'dirretore' Reed has made millions for the heads of the families. Frustrated by the Coalition's non-profit status (which is under investigation by both the IRS and the Federal Election Commission) Reed is seeking alternative ways to raise funds and endorse candidates. Reed has been accused of side-stepping US law by running candidates over the border into Canada.

When asked for comment Reed replied, "Kaye, within five years the family will be completely legitimate, I swear to you."

SOURCE: San Francisco Chronicle

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Clueless drummer of the Christian rock band "The Newsboys," spoke for the first time of his exposure to shocking promotion strategies of secular rock moguls. While dressing for their last video, drummer Peter Furler noticed a silver string bikini hanging in the dressing room. "I'm not wearing that," he said.

Then in walked a blonde model. Putting two and two together Furler said, "Red flags went up, and we nixed that. Not just because it exploits women, but a band that has to have a nude woman in its video must be pretty useless as a band."

Now you're getting it.

SOURCE: San Francisco Chronicle