Apparently, All You Need Is A Pulse To Get A Drivers License

I’d like to start this off by admitting there are a lot of good, careful drivers out on the roads. But for every good driver, it feels like there are five terrible ones. The rules of the road are pretty simple, yet some people manage to break them in all of the most creative ways.

Either driving tests are way too easy nowadays, or these people are great at faking it. No one who eats soup from a pot while driving should have gotten their license in the first place. It’s official: these terrible drivers are in a league all of their own. My heart goes out to whoever had to give them their driving lessons.

Let’s Hope That’s Not A Stick Shift

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Feet up, noise-canceling headphones on, time to ride. This guy is breaking about every rule in the books. He’s obviously going for the “relaxed to the max” look to impress the ladies, but he just looks like an idiot.

I’m just praying that it’s not a manual car because then he’s going to burn right through the clutch.

I’ve Got A Hunch That This Car Won’t Make It To The Shop

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There’s no way to sugar coat it: fender benders suck. Any reasonable driver would call up their insurance and put this car in a shop immediately.

This person must have known they wouldn’t get the full rebate because they’re probably at fault and decided that duct tape was just as good of a fix.

Leather Interiors Can Get Hot

Photo credit: RealPunchersJorean / Reddit

I’ve seen a lot of idiots on the road, but driving with your sun reflector still in the windshield is at the top of the list. No one likes when their leather seats get as blistering hot as the sun, but it’s better than getting in a car accident.

The driver coming up is one of those people who care more about their pet than road safety.

Something Tells Me That’s Not What That Holder Is For

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Just so everyone knows, that little holder that pops down is for sunglasses. Because if you’re driving in sunny conditions, you should have a good pair of sunnies so you can keep your eyes on the road.

It is most definitely not for tacos. I can’t think of anything worse to eat while driving.

I Spoke Too Soon

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I take it all back. I’d rather see someone eating a taco than eating a pot of soup whilst driving. Tacos might be crumbly, messy, and hard to eat, but at least they only require one hand.

This woman decided two-handing a pot of soup was the perfect food to eat while in a rush.

The Goodest Boy, But The Baddest Driver

Photo credit: @youdrivelikeabozo / Instagram

No, this dog isn’t the one driving, but he is on the driver’s lap being a general nuisance. A few states have laws against driving with pets on your lap, but to most of America, it’s simply a distracted driving charge. Pets are distracting enough in the back seat. I can’t imagine if they are sitting on your lap.

Keep reading to see the moment when a messy car becomes dangerous.

Lesson Learned

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Why were you eating spaghetti and driving in the first place? When I eat spaghetti, it requires all of my attention. Spaghetti need a fork, a spoon to twist it, and a lot of effort to slurp up the noodles.

And all of that is happening at home, at a table, and not in a driving death machine.

They Technically Left You Their Card

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If you’re so broke that you can’t afford insurance, then maybe don’t hit other cars. It’s a pretty basic concept. The worst drivers are always the ones who can’t afford to fix any of their mistakes.

Attaching a Pokémon card just proves the person who hit this car is as immature as you can get.

Who Needs Rear-View Visibility

Photo credit: @djbewbz / Instagram

I’ll admit that my car isn’t the cleanest, but I’ve never let it get to a level where it impairs my driving. But for some reason, this person loves Chic-Fil-A so much that it has taken over their entire life and their entire backseat. At this point, you can’t see your blind spots or your rear-view. It’s an accident waiting to happen.

The next driver definitely wouldn’t pass the eyesight test for a license.

Using Your Knees To Drive Is Safe, Right?

Photo credit: @Mr_Blonde15 / Reddit

Yes, that’s a man holding a magnifying glass with one hand, while using the other hand to text on a flip phone. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that this person might be too old to be driving still.

If you need a magnifying glass to see one foot away, then you probably can’t properly see the road.

The Beekeeping Life Doesn’t Stop

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Transporting thousands of bees in your ’97 station wagon required the utmost safety and attention. I understand that means wearing your beekeeping suit, but I think a suit with a helmet would hinder your driving abilities.

Can this person even do a shoulder check? Can they look at their right side mirror? It just doesn’t seem worth it.

Practicing For The Renaissance Fair

Photo credit: @djbewbz / Instagram

Look, I’ll admit that ren fairs are a lot of fun. Anyone who says they don’t like dressing up like a knight or princess and eat a turkey leg in public is lying. But this guy is a little too excited about the jousting event at the local ren fair. They’re tempting fate with Final Destination stuff like this.

Keep reading to see why instruments should never mesh with driving.

Maybe They’re Hoping The Reporting Center Won’t Notice

Photo credit: @AnthonyJBarton / Twitter

What exactly was this driver trying to accomplish when they put this band-aid over their very large, very obvious crack in the side door? If they’re hoping it will help keep the two pieces together so no one will notice, it actually just draws more attention to it.

At this point, swallow your pride a duct tape the entire door.

Never Let Anything Come Between You And Your Passion

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I know that being stuck in traffic can feel like wasted time, but don’t whip out your guitar mid-drive. They say you need 10,000 hours of practice to master a skill, but this is not the time or the place to fit in an extra hour.

Not only is this dangerous, but if you need to practice while driving, you’re probably not that good.

He’s Definitely Meeting Up With Guitar Guy

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Either playing musical instruments is a common thing to do on the road, or Mr. Violin is going to meet up with Mr. Guitar for an impromptu road-side concert. There is really no other reason you’d risk driving with your knees unless your practicing for your solo in “The Devil Went Down To Georgia.”

The photos coming up show you all the ways you shouldn’t use your car to move a large item.

There Are A Million Other Places That Bird Could Be

Photo credit: @sidneesue / Twitter

Hot take: that bird is probably more distracting than the dog hanging out the window. Birds are demonic, and humans should never have domesticated them in the first place. They might be worse than cats.

This bird is waiting for the perfect time to peck out its owner’s eyes and fly off into the sunset.

How Not To Transport A Washing Machine: 101

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I’ve seen people resort to using their hood to transport large items when they have no way of getting it on top of their car, but this SUV has roof racks. This person literally paid to have two rails attached to their car so they could carry things, and they don’t even use them.

Instead, they chose to drive blind and almost guarantee a car accident.

How Not To Transport A Washing Machine: 102

Photo credit: @rugger / Instagram

I never thought we’d get to a point in time where I would argue that “How to use roof racks” should be an entire lesson in drivers ed. Repeat after me: bungee cords.

Maybe there’s just something about transporting a washing machine that brings out the biggest idiots in all of us.

What A Timely Sign About Deaths Per Year On The Road

Photo credit: @Zyenaux / Reddit

There is something fascinating about the male ego that makes them believe they can transport mattresses on the highway with absolutely no ties or supports.

Those 80 mph winds are no contest for their brute strength. No one needs to worry here. The guy in the blue shirt is in peak physical condition. No bumps, turns, or winds will overturn that mattress.

Do It For The ‘Gram

Photo credit: extol504 / Reddit

This girl decided that being stopped at a red light was the perfect time to get a picture of her pedicure and post it to Instagram. Do people like this realize this is the very reason why baby boomers hate millennials?

It’s no wonder millennials can’t afford a house when they have to pay so much for car insurance after getting two distracted driving charges.