Bizarre Things That Shouldn’t Exist, But We’re So Happy They Do
Creativity is hard to come by. It's very common for most of us to think we have a good idea until an extra second of thought goes into it, and you realize it's an awful one. But that's normal and perfectly okay. Self-awareness and quickly identifying that, say, cheeseburgers wrapped in plastic in a vending machine is probably not a good idea, should be the natural dialogue that occurs in your head.
Thankfully for us (perhaps not thankfully for the customers who bought the product) sometimes this natural process for idea generation just doesn't happen. The result? Some terrible products that should've never been spoken into existence. I mean, who wants just the crust?! Prepare your "cringe meter" because it's about to get a lot of action.
No! Tampons Too?
Just when you thought that pumpkin spice couldn't seep its way into women's hygiene product, Tampax proves us very wrong.
Thanks to Starbucks, all of humanity has this obsession with a spice that should only be found in pumpkin pie. Look, it tastes good, and I'm not a doctor, but I'm pretty sure no one tastes tampons.
Shoe-shi?
Yes, this is an actual thing. Kudos to whoever took the time to meticulously pay attention to detail and create these shoes made of sushi.
Here's the problem; I would feel guilty putting any one of these in my mouth. With every chomp down there would be an increased knot in my stomach that I just ate artwork that rivals the Mona Lisa.
Security Cameras Are Overrated
This Wal-Mart decided that the best way to keep the parking lot under control was to install a guard tower.
It's not a bad idea because there's a lot of unpredictable shenanigans that occur out there. There are fights over the last parking spot and families attacking each other over who has to take the empty cart back to it's home. Security cameras just don't react quick enough.
Perfect For The Energy Burger You're About To Eat?
Can we quickly talk about how awful mustard tastes in general? How did it become popular when there are over 1000 better condiment choices? What influential figure had a gun pointed at their head and was forced to endorse this trash?
Nowadays there are a bazillion different flavors of mustard, and we should send every single one of them into annihilation.
We All Knew "That Kid" In High School
Ah, the age-old debate as to whether socks with sandals are an appropriate choice of footwear. Frankly, they should be allowed. There are days that are too cold for bare feet, but not cold enough for closed toe shoes. Boom, socks and sandals weather. Debate ended.
Now, I draw the line on "socks and sandals socks," because they're repulsive. Anyone who wears these WANTS you to know they wear them. If you see anything of this nature, ignore at all costs.
This Is What Nightmares Are Made Of
Anyone who buys this product should be immediately investigated and interrogated at Area 51. They're not human and never have been. This could be the best trap the CIA could set.
No one eats bread and says that the crust is their favorite part — it just doesn't happen. It's dry, causes way too many crumbs and is hard to eat.
Cover Your Ankles
Yes, this exists, and yes, it's an awful design. But there needs to be some acknowledgment regarding the danger of Razor scooters.
They are the main cause of ankle injuries for kids under the age of 13 and lead the way for torn Achilles tendons. There is absolutely no evidence that supports that claim, but I'm sure the scooter lobby is suppressing the numbers.
The Noodle Guard
This "device" is to help keep your hair out of your ramen noodles. It's a "noodle guard" if you will.
The idea is interesting, but the design is quite atrocious. She kind of looks like that dinosaur in the jeep during the famous scene in the first Jurassic Park movie. Either that or a low-budget sunset in a cartoon.
Fueling The Fire Of An Old Prank
If you've never seen the blinker fluid pranks, you need to. Basically, parents send their kids into a car shop to get blinker fluid, which obviously doesn't exist.
Long story short, the kids get very embarrassed because they come off as gullible, but this product just throws fuel into that fire.
So Much "WHY"
I guess that you're looking at this picture and picturing the exact type of person that would put this on their truck.
Usually, they look like they haven't showered in about two weeks and drove a pick-up truck from the '70s. They post insanely insensitive and confusing Facebook status updates that talk about another race in a demeaning way.
The Perservatives Burger
This picture goes to show how regressive we have become as a society in our eating habits. This type of food would've been laughed at even 10 years ago.
"You know what I could go for right now? A burger that's sealed in a plastic wrapping and dispensed through a vending machine." - said no one, ever.
I'll Take "PASS" For 300, Alex
I'm a massive advocate for ranch dressing, but there's got to be a line somewhere. This ranch dressing soda doesn't just pass the line; it laps the rest of field.
How anyone can take a casual sip out of this bottle and not immediately gag is beyond my comprehension. The thought of salad dressing in a fizzy form is enough to bring vomit into my mouth.
This Just Ruined Nutella For Me
There's a joke engrained in this product, and it's very disturbing and detrimental. As a lover of the hazelnut heaven in a jar, also known as Nutella, I disagree with this execution.
The implication that human feces is the same as Nutella is both offensive to my taste buds and offensive to everything the brand stands for. Stop this madness right now.
The Goldfish Walker
Taking your pets for a walk can be full of bliss and happiness. It's your dog's favorite moment, and it's your cat's time to scout out the neighborhood for other humans to murder (let's be honest cats are taking over the world as we speak).
On the other hand, taking your goldfish for a walk seems extra. Actually, it doesn't just seem extra — it is extra.
Some plates just shouldn't be plates. Like this hilarious one just ahead.
This Is Blasphemy
This is an actual pizza that actual human beings like to eat. There's no sauce, no cheese, and let's be honest, no dignity on this "pizza."
The people who like this type of dough with crusty pepperoni are the same ones who will take out the middle of an oreo and just throw it in the garbage.
Double Look Central
Nothing appropriate comes out of nude colored leggings. Anyone who wears these (especially to work) has some serious questions to answer about their intentions.
What do they gain out of tricking people into thinking they're fully nude? And, how relaxed is Starbucks' dress code to allow this? Will we be seeing an employee with pizza or cat leggings shortly? One can only hope.
Millenials Are Taking Things Way Too Far
The question regarding how far Millenials will go to just be straight up weird is answered in this picture.
It shouldn't come as a surprise that iPhones are getting underwear. They're people now. We engage with our phones more than our friends so they might as well not be nude.
Just Don't Over-Think It, Please
Whoever decided that this was a good design for a plate should be fired. What's wrong with a circle or square plate?
Instead of eating pork, this person now feels like they're munching on poop from a urinal, and, I'm not an appetite expert, but I assume much of it was lost.
Candles Are Getting Weird, Man
What happened to vanilla or hazelnut scented candles? Why are they getting pushed off the shelves for schnitzel?
If we wanted to honor our German friends with a candle, we could've done it in a much more effective way. German beer scented candles, I assure you, would outsell this nonsense.
You Gotta Double Wrap
Where is this store located that they need to have their pop in individual packaging? It must be a place with no environmental activists because protests would break out over the use of plastic here.
It seems very unnecessary considering how much waste is seeping into our oceans because of packaging waste and killing ocean wildlife at alarming rates. Not to get depressing, though.
Don't Confuse It For A Cold One
Let me paint a picture for you.
You're hosting a cookout, all your friends are there, it's 6 p.m., you've been drinking all day and are thirsty for another, your buddy Randy watches the steak while you grab another brewski, and you drink a cold can of chicken stock.
A Mobile Fidget Spinner Seems Counterproductive
Maybe I'm crazy, but I thought the whole point of using a fidget spinner was to annoy everyone around you.
This app seems like it wouldn't do that? I'm confused at the point of this addition to the Apple store.
A Beach Floatie For Your Goth Friend
Even goths like to enjoy the summertime and have fun at the beach.
Make them feel included with a giant coffin floatie that's as weirdly bright and joyful looking as it is frightening.
Scented Tape, Just In Case You Wanted To Freak People Out By Smelling Tape
Tape does not need to be scented because you don't need to be smelling it.
It's the same thing with markers—why would they make something smell so good that will only betray you with purple marks on your face if you smelled too closely?
Jalapeno M&M's Are Reserved For People Without Taste Buds
I love how M&M's made this in a "share size," as if anyone in your life is going to want any of these.
Whoever likes the taste of chocolate, spice, and peanut in one crunchy mouthful can just enjoy that niche satisfaction by themselves, thank you.
Finally, A Piercing So You Don't Lose Your Glasses
This is an over-solution. Like, yeah, you'll never lose your glasses again, but now all of your friends and family are concerned about you and your well-being.
You're probably also having trouble getting an office job.
Your Cat Is Going To Run Away If You Buy This
Just stop it. If you're a pet owner and you want to feel this close to your pet, you need to get it in your head that cats don't like us very much.
They're just waiting for the day you leave your social security number on the counter to snatch it and steal your identity.
Black Cotton Swabs Defeat The Purpose
Even though we "know" not to put cotton swabs in our ears, let's just be honest for a second, that's the only reason we buy them.
So what's the point of buying black ones if you can't see all the gunk you're ripping out?
The Hardhat For The Cowboy Who's Got A Construction Shift Later
Okay, to be fair, someone would buy this, but it's a very specific kind of Southern folk. Either they've got two jobs and no time to change, or they work on a horse ranch with a horse that's fond of high-kicking people in the head.
I can only assume it's the Jackie Chan horse scenario.
As If This Lock Would Stop Any Of Your Family Members
This is a nice idea, but let's face it: nobody would buy this. Whether you're trying to stop yourself at 3 a.m. or your family members from eating your ice cream, you can pretty much bet on someone ripping this carton open and chowing down anyway.
It's a law as true as Murphy's.
You Know The Corner Of The Internet That Would Buy This Leather Bra Backpack
You know exactly who would wear this backpack.
They're the person right on the last page of that Craigslist section, they charge by the hour, and they make you reconsider how you feel about red wax Christmas candles.
...Why Not Just Buy Gloves?
Fingerless gloves are a thing, you know. They make them for people who try too hard at the gym and those of us who want to text in the winter.
As a society, handerpants weren't a need we needed to fill.
The Sequel Literally Nobody Asked For
I read about this and apparently the only reason someone bought this game was to annoy someone if they pulled out Uno at a party.
And yeah, that's about the only use I can see for this.
All Of These Sauces Make My Blood Run Cold
I don't want to be dramatic and say that these sauces exemplify everything that's unholy and wrong in the world, but I will anyway.
This is some true unrefrigerated terror.
The Only Rubik's Cube I Could Solve
You know that someone bought this as a joke but secretly thought it was a great idea. You know what this is?
The puzzle game equivalent of a participation ribbon.
I Have Questions About The $17 "Avocado Sock"
I'd love to know what the fridge of this Etsy shop owner looks like.
I have a feeling there's no vegetable crisper in it, and there's no tinfoil in sight. Just a theory.
These Are Supposed To Make You Swim Faster
Okay, future Michael Phelps, sit down.
Nobody needs to look like an idiot in their recreational aquafit class just to swim slightly faster than Karen, who drives a 2006 Toyota Sienna.
This Cowch
Your redneck neighbor, who's got two broken-down cars without wheels in his front yard and at least three "Beware of Dog" signs for his blind pitbull Rocky, has this couch on his porch.
And he loves it.
You've Seen The Cat Backpack Versions...
I'm glad this dude is happy, because his parrot certainly isn't.
I'd love to be inside of his head when he's justifying carrying poor Polly around the subway while Polly's plotting his end.
I Can't Think Of A Worse Way To Start The Day
Why would any company ever make a sour sugary cereal like this?
If you even thought about eating this for breakfast, I can guarantee you that you'll lose a leg from that insulin spike.