Funny Lawyer Jokes That Raise The Bar When It Comes To Comedy

When it comes to studying law, you’d think it would be a very serious, intellectual pursuit. It requires a good deal of dedication and intelligence to successfully earn a degree. While all of that is true, it doesn’t mean all lawyers have to drop their sense of humor.

As it turns out, the long hard hours of studying helped some lawyers nurture a special kind of wit. They crack up jokes that are funny, dark and very realistic. Don’t worry, none of these lawyers are associated with Rick Hoffman from Suits.

And That’s How I Met Your Mother

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Photo Credit: @MindyFurano/Twitter

Some people just love to live life to the extreme. You know, pushing boundaries just so you can tell your crush how much you like them.

Clearly, this person has zero confidence. Outside of tying the knot, this could be a good way to ask that special someone to the prom.

Suddenly, Mufasa’s Voices Comes To Mind

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You’re awesome if you read that in Mufasa’s voice. Don’t feel sorry for people being irresponsible. A lot of people forgot to feed their Tamagotchi after they realized they need to grow up.

But, what about the Nintendogs we haven’t seen since the late nineties? Rest in peace to those poor souls.

Don’t Lowball Me, Got It?

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You can’t go wrong with those fricking laser beams coming out of her eyes. This is what happened when a sci-fi lover turns into a professional billboard designer. She’s more intimidating than Planet of the Apes.

Although, I think they might need to consider a career change. Coming up, one law office who’s up against stiff competition from the likes of the Three Stooges.

My Dad Is A Lawyer And He Takes His Dog, Frannie, To Work. He Trained Her To Deliver Documents To Other Lawyers

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He could have trained her how to email. Frannie must know that she gets paid better than every intern.

Better yet, she probably gets rewarded with dog treats after each delivery. Medical interns would be jealous of Frannie because they work for nothing but an education.

Represent Y’all

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Photo Credit: @ohen39/Twitter

Finally, a lawyer who has the people’s back. That’s a good first impression right there. All of the homies in the hood would be so proud of this.

But, don’t make it a big thing. If the lawyer ends up throwing the gang sign more than once, he’ll have to decide if he’s representing the Bloods or the Crips.

They’re Up There With Dewey, Cheetum, and Howe

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Well played. This would make a great Three Stooges skit. The names on the sign are up against some stiff competition.

Right next door to there building, they’re trying to outsmart the new kids on the block. Screwem, Goode & Hart. What if cats were in charge of the law? More on that later.

My Lawyer Called Out Sick And Her Replacement Has A Tat’ On Her Face Like Gucci… I’m Going To Jail

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Photo Credit: @LamboKeem/Twitter

People need to stop associating tattoos with incompetence. You might know a few people without ink on their body that are far from being the sharpest tool in the shed.

A good tattoo can really add some character to a person’s look. However, having a tattoo on your face might be considered an error of judgment.

He Got Those On His Wedding Day

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You might have a few friends who might want these socks for their birthday. Or better yet, they probably got those for their wedding day.

People are more interested in short-term gratification over something long term. They don’t realize what exactly a marriage is or just how hard it is.

Well, They’re Not Wrong

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I really hope we see more lawyers who are willing to protect our little friends. If the cats were lawyers, they’d do their best like we do.

Unfortunately, too many of their clients are condemned to death. If only the perpetrators could be held accountable. The truth behind divorces is on the way. It might open your eyes to something you haven’t seen before.

At Least The Judge Was Understanding

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Introverts, this one is for you. You’ve experienced that sensation once in your lifetime.

Imagine having a weird boss who did this, and they kept bumping into you when you’re trying to go on break. It’s a situation that’s too relatable, so the judge had to dismiss the case immediately.

When The Lawyer Gets Owned

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Photo Credit: @ArfMeasures/Twitter

That’s as good as a confession right there. The “Lips on the mic” was the best part, and it painted the visual perfectly.

Some of you might think that if they were convicted of perjury, the murder charge would follow. Remember, it’s just a joke, not an actual legal case.

That’s A Valid Point

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That’s actually really smart. Divorces are so expensive, but can definitely be worth it. Once you see this sign, it’ll open your eyes to a whole new world you never saw before.

“If love is grand, divorce is 100 grand.” That’s a direct quote from my Community Property Professor. Still on the way, the whole 30-day trial” thing just turned down a dark corner.

I Rest My Case

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Photo Credit: @PaperWash/Twitter

Since the dog is a good boy, he must be innocent of any crime, or else he would be a bad boy. Even the jury finds the dog to be a very good boy. Once they said the verdict, the dog wagged his tail.

Next, the judge will use baby talk to say the dog is a very best dog ever while throwing him a biscuit. This is the good side of the law we never hear about.

This Might Take A Moment

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There are 24 beers in a case. The wife would leave because he’s an alcoholic and not because of the pun.

It’s one of those things where it may take a moment for you to understand the context of the humor. Hopefully, this guy cleans up his act if ever wants to re-marry.

You Have 30 Days Until Your Free Trial Expires

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Photo Credit: @InternetHippo/Twitter

You often get free trials for certain products online. Instead, this person clicked on a free trial, but it was a trial for murder.

They either had a bad lawyer or no lawyer at all. This is why you should almost never represent yourself. In some places, the next joke ahead isn’t as funny, but it makes sense.

Haha Good One

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The judge is asking you to beg for mercy, and they’re mocking you too. Thank goodness this didn’t break out into some dumb musical number like in High School Musical.

For some odd reason, I heard that plea in Aziz Ansari’s voice as his character Tom from Parks and Recreation.

This Also Gets You A Dad Joke Award

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Photo Credit: @MarfSalvador/Twitter

It sounds like you might be asking for a bribe. However, anyone who has to deal with fighting for a parking ticket deserves a little something something on the side.

The only present you’ll be getting is one of the following — a sentence in jail or six months of being someone’s butler.

In Some Places, That Wouldn’t Be A Joke

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Photo Credit: @jonnysun/Twitter

Congratulations, you just played yourself in the entire courtroom. If that happened in the courtroom, just imagine the reaction from people.

It would be nothing but dead silence and the judge wouldn’t be too happy with your humor. It’s like court suddenly became Taxi Cab Confessions.

A Lawyer Dies And Goes Go To Heaven

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Photo Credit: ponyrojo/Reddit

Okay, this is priceless. Some people could pull this off on telemarketers. All you need to do is to mess with them, and they’ll never call you again.

It sucks when people try to scam you. If you’re still baffled, the real joke is in the title.

The Greatest Lawyer Knows The Attorney General

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So, what they’re saying is that the greatest lawyer IS the Attorney General? Your guess is as a good as mine.

It seems like “great lawyers” utilize corruption more than anything. Oh well, it’s all about who you know in the business, right?