The fact of the matter is, no one prepares us for any realities in life. You may enter adulthood knowing advanced calculus, but that doesn’t mean you know how to file your taxes properly. If you thought you were prepared to move out on your own, you’re wrong.
I blame HGTV for making us all think we can afford to buy a home and spend $80,000 on renovations when you’re 25, when in reality, you can barely afford a couch… or food… or anything. These people have gone through the struggle of moving out, and we feel for them.
This Box Has Gotten Progressively Less Fun
Photo credit: Imgur
Moving out on your own is fun for about a week until the doom and despair kicks in. This box shows the evolution from care-free child to sad adult.
If you want to avoid growing up, be like the friend I had in college. One of his roommates moved out, and he turned their room into a home for his Lego.
Oh, You Think You Can Afford Air Conditioning? That’s Funny
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You think you have enough money in your monthly budget to afford air conditioning? Think again. I regret not asking my parents what their monthly bills are because I feel like it would have at least given me a realistic idea of what I was getting myself into.
In the summer, you have to get creative. Two words: fans everywhere.
Then You Get A $100 Energy Bill From All That Blending
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When you do finally spend the money on something nice, that item becomes your life and soul. One time I splurged on a $250 hand vacuum, and I will use that vacuum until the day I die. If I’m going to spend that much money, there will be no crumb left behind.
The photo coming up will hit a little too close to home for anyone who has had to get their furniture off the side of the road.
Now You Understand Why Mom Never Let You Eat Cake For Breakfast
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Freedom feels like going grocery shopping and getting four frozen pizzas and a cake. Freedom also feels like a week-long stomach ache and a month of regret.
To make it worse, you usually have to make up a lie why you’re buying a full ice cream cake. The grocery store clerk is probably suspicious why you have a friend’s birthday once a week.
Cleaning Is Literally The Bane Of Your Existence
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My parents made it look easy that the house got cleaned once a week. I thought when you moved out, you just naturally started enjoying cleaning. But in reality, if you don’t make the time to clean you will live in a pigsty.
This person’s idea of creating a Facebook event to clean the apartment is one of the best cleaning tips anyone has given me.
I Thought I’d Be Picking Out Kitchen Backsplash Tile Right Now
Photo credit: @paxton247 / Twitter
Curse you, HGTV. I thought my first apartment would have modern hardwood flooring, an accent wall, and a breakfast bar. In reality, my first apartment includes furniture I took off the side of the road.
Word of advice: if you can find the college kid with rich parents, you can steal some pretty sweet furniture pieces on their move-out day. Next, you’ll appreciate all the food in your parent’s house so much more.
Improvise, Adapt, Overcome
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When you move out on your own, you’ll start to see the world in an entirely different way. When your parents provide everything for you, it’s easy to miss all the free things just sitting around, waiting for you to take advantage of them.
This girl was smart enough to finally wake up, smell the roses, and notice that coffee shops have milk for the taking.
Cooking For Yourself Is A Journey Of Self-Discovery
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Unless you’ve always been a whiz in the kitchen, moving out is a learning experience. Before I was forced to learn how to use a kitchen, my only cooking skills included grilled cheese and chicken nuggets.
Now I’m able to also cook ramen, pasta, noodles, rice, and basically anything carb-based. Bon appétit.
Now I Feel Bad For Never Eating The Fruit My Mom Cut Up For Me
Photo credit: @Mayhemmyles / Twitter
Moving out tip: don’t buy a full bundle of bananas unless you’re prepared to make banana bread every single week. All those times my mom told me to eat fruit, I thought she was trying to make me healthy. But she was clearly trying to get rid of the fruit before it went bad.
Baby boomers think we’re spending all our money on avocado toast, but the harsh reality is that the bathroom team coming up costs the most.
You Can’t Call You Dad To Build Everything For You
Photo credit: oneonefrog / Reddit
I used to think dads were born to build IKEA furniture, but experience has proved otherwise. No one in their 20s knows what they are doing when it comes to putting together any piece of furniture.
It took me thirty minutes to put together a stool once, and in the end, I had to improvise and use an extra nail because I somehow misplaced one of the screws.
No Bruised Banana Left Behind
Photo credit: @jamespianka / Twitter
One of the most important lessons in the early years of adulthood is that when you mess up, you have to own it. Sometimes that includes eating the bruised bananas.
And sometimes its accepting that you wasted $4 when half the strawberries are moldy. Life is a test, and we’re failing, but we’re also learning.
The Boring Stuff Is Always The Most Expensive, And The Most Necessary
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No one ever tells you that all your extra spending money will go towards toilet paper. And if you think you can buy the “No Name” toilet paper, you’re severely mistaken.
Your parents bought that three-ply cashmere toilet paper, and now there’s no turning back. You’re stuck buying $15 toilet paper forever. Keep reading to find out why the “freshman fifteen” isn’t just for college kids.
Dish Soap Is The Same As Dishwasher Soap, Right?
Photo credit: wordsbynight / Reddit
Just because you live on your own, doesn’t mean you’re exempt from reading the instruction manual to things. Even if you think a dishwasher or a vacuum is common sense, it is not.
I think the manufacturers change silly little things about the products to see if people actually read the instructions or not.
All My Passwords Are Just One Number Variations
Photo credit: @lottelydia / Twitter
If you thought remembering your social media passwords is hard, try handling all your bills and banking online. I love that I don’t need to speak to another human now to deposit a cheque, but the security measures are insane.
I understand why I need a 12-letter password with numbers, letters, and symbols, but I have to call and reset it once a month, so it’s not very effective.
The Freshman Fifteen Applies Even If You Aren’t In College
Photo credit: The_Mac_Attack / Reddit
Everyone acts like that the only ones gaining the freshman fifteen are the college kids who eat takeout every day and go out each weekend. But reality check: it happens to anyone fresh to the real world.
Unless you’re a robot with an excellent metabolism, you’re bound to gain some weight when you’re living off of cheap carbs. The picture coming up won’t look familiar until your parents finally come to visit you.
You Did Your Best, And It Wasn’t Good Enough
Photo credit: frankbill / Reddit
Even when you do everything right, something will still go wrong. This is especially true when you buy your first house. Everything looks perfect until you realize asbestos and mold are growing in the walls.
And those appliances that came with the home? Well, the oven door falls off, and the fridge doesn’t keep anything cold.
If You Can Afford Rent, You Can’t Afford Anything Else
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Unless you live in Toledo, Ohio, you probably have to pay a pretty penny for your rent. Which unfortunately means you can’t afford anything else. Most of your extra spending money will go toward food.
So make sure not to get in a car crash or fender bender, or you’ll end up having to buy a $2 roll of duck tape instead of actually fixing anything.
Just Wait For The Once-A-Year Visit When Your Parents Stock Your Fridge
Photo credit: @petteradactyl / Instagram
The relationship with your parents changes drastically after you move out. Yes, going home for the holidays is stressful. But the best part of every year is when your parents come and visit you.
Your dad will finally fix everything you broke, and mom will take you shopping to stock up your fridge because she feels terrible seeing a refrigerator with only four items in it.
Moving Out Means Becoming A Hermit
Photo credit: @timbolton1 / Twitter
At first, moving out means being able to come home drunk at 3 am and have no parent there to judge you. But in reality, moving out means being able to binge Stranger Things while eating ice cream at 3 am in your underwear with no parent there to judge you.
Trust me, you won’t be as social as you think. You won’t have the money for it.
This Button Is A Metaphor For Your Adult Life
Photo credit: @britrbennett / Twitter
Not to be dramatic, but the “remind me tomorrow” button on your Mac is just a reflection of real life. Unless you’re one of those people who likes waking up at 6 am, every job is a job for tomorrow.
Cleaning? Tomorrow. Grocery shopping? Tomorrow. Shower? Tomorrow.