Innocent Little Kids Who Took Being A “Potty Mouth” To A Hilariously New Level Of Inappropriateness
What would we do without kids and their unpredictability? They're our source of never-ending joy and confusion, yet we couldn't be more thankful. Their innocence makes their everyday mistakes and blunders just that much more enjoyable and outright addicting to witness.
They're brutally honest and yet gleefully ignorant of the English language. Kids will say the darndest things to your face and will have absolutely no idea how raunchy they're being. If one thing is obvious, it's that spelling is hard, no matter what age you are! Gear up for the most innocently dirty 20 minutes of your life, enjoy.
Peanuts, Get Your Peanuts
Photo Credit: Imgur / @Amaress
It's not certain why elephants have taken to liking peanuts so much since they obviously aren't food they are a to eat in the wild.
They have to spend almost 18 hours a day eating so it seems that since they're tiny, it might just be a convenience factor. Oh, also, this picture is hilarious.
Unconditional Love Is The Glue That Keeps Families Together
Every family has their ups and downs. If your family members are close it's because they have unconditional love for each other that stretches beyond bad life choices.
This little girl loves her family, obviously. She may not agree with how they decided to conduct their lives, but she openly shows her support. We need more kids like her.
"I Used To Live There For A Few Months Early On"
Virginia is an interesting state with lots of history. It's known as the "birthplace of the nation" because Jamestown was the first English settlement in the U.S.
Both of the surrenders ending both the American Revolution and the Civil War occurred in the state, so it's safe to say it's rich with history. This kid may have been on vacation, but this teacher can rest assured that they got their anatomy, I mean history lesson in.
Coming up, just wait until you see the "nickname" this little kid gave to his teacher.
To Each Their Own, I Guess?
While this kid obviously mixed up the spelling of Santa and Satan, it's still very creepy. For interest sake, let's assume for a second this girl was a supporter of the man down under.
Satan was a feminist — it was him who told Eve to eat the fruit of knowledge so that she could be freed from her slavery to God. So maybe this is progressive? Okay, no, nothing beats Santa.
"Just To Clarify, I'm Not A Stripper"
This mom is freaking out about this whole stripper thing, but let's dive into the facts for a second. It can actually be quite the lucrative career.
A 2010 U.K study found that dancers on average make about $74,000 a year. Some can easily make over six figures in a year, and much of it is tax-free. It's just food for thought. The shoveling seems fun too though.
Kid's And Their Nicknames I Tell Yah'
It's not a surprise that kids can be mean. They come up with the most savage nicknames and have no shame about calling you it to your face.
This kid was so brazen that they followed a compliment about her teaching, with an insult about her sex life. Where have our manners as a society gone? Ugh.
There's Nothing Better Than The Biach On A Sunny Day
Is there anything more relaxing yet annoying than going to the beach? Let's be honest here; there's nothing fun about sand in any capacity.
On "good" beach days sand is scorching hot, hard to walk through, and finds its way into crevasses of your body you didn't even know you had. Also, the whole getting sand off of your feet after going into the water thing is not chill.
O Is For Oopsies
If we're going to have a conversation about letters in the English alphabet, we should start by blowing your mind. The letter "E" is 56 times more common than the letter "Q" in forming individual words.
Now, if we're looking at the letter "T" specifically, it's used in almost 7% of the words in the Oxford Dictionary. That makes it the sixth most common letter, and yes, it is also used in the word "tights."
A Dr. Suess In The Making
Is there a kid's book that is focussed solely on a horse? If there isn't, there should be. This little story could be the jumping off of point because it's captivating in so many ways.
It checks off both the boxes that every children's book should mark. It entertains the kids and gives a dirty parallel version for the parents. The horse's name can be Kim, for no reason at all.
*Points Over His Parent's Shoulder As He Gets Dragged Away, While A Lone Tear Drops Down His Face*
This drawing paints an unfortunate picture. This is precisely what your drunk friend is screaming at you when she's getting carried out of the bar by the bouncers. The entire scene is in slow motion while Sarah McClaughlin plays on the jukebox.
It was just supposed to be a casual girl's night until the two-for-one tequila shots came into play at the local dive bar.
Someone Needs To Talk To This Kid, Immediately
Here's the problem with kids liking cats as pets. Cats are evil. Mark my words, they will have taken over the world completely by 2034.
They're predators who are learning to adapt to life with human beings. They're beginning to open doors and manipulate kids into thinking they aren't planning on killing them once they've gained their trust.
Kurt Might Be Hurt After This
The jury is still out as to whether this is a direct shot at Kurt, or if it's just a typo. Renee and Kurt had a three-day relationship earlier this month, so the emotions from their break-up might be still very raw.
The red flag is the amount of Hello! Kitty stickers that were put on this card. Three is acceptable, but eight is concerning.
Let's Talk Cinnamon...
Cinnamon is a powerful spice that needs to get more attention for its health benefits. It's been used medicinally around the world for thousands of years.
It contains anti-inflammatory properties that protect your heart health. It's highly effective at fighting dangerous inflammation levels throughout the body. That's your health lesson for the day.
Strictly Chicken, I Assume?
Cooking is a skill that is surprisingly underrated. You don't truly appreciate someone's cooking ability until you either don't live with them anymore, or you stop seeing them.
This kid is trying to stay in the moment and give thanks to the family members in their life that can cook chicken. They could've used a more age appropriate word, but we'll let it slide.
Breaking Bad 2.0?
Photo Credit: Imgur / @amaress
Contrary to popular belief, most elementary school teachers don't use meth as their drug of choice. Mrs. Edwards is in the minority on this one, but do you boo-boo.
Breaking Bad spoiler: Walter White ends up killing himself. Sorry if that ruined your day but I did give you a three-word warning.
Ain't That The Truth
Drinking wine in small doses is actually better for you than not drinking at all. The antioxidants in red wine (which is this mother's drink of choice) lower the incidence of cardiovascular disease.
The moral of this story is that this mom is just trying to live longer so she can see her kids grow up. Jesus drank wine and he was pretty cool so there's got to be some benefit to it.
Using ALL His Assets To Fight Fires
A random little girl who had her apartment building caught on fire sent a letter to one of the firefighters. The intent was to show her appreciation, but she ended up just boosting his confidence ten-fold.
On a kind of related note, but not really, have you ever wondered why the Dalmatian was the face of firefighting dogs? Well, back in olden days Dalmatians used to get along really well with horses (who were the mode of transportation).
Mom, Your Going To Have To Explain Yourself Here
So, I did what you were wanting to do and looked up if it's possible to poop out of your mouth. The answer seems to be a nuanced "no."
Even the most constipated person will not puke up their feces. It's possible to puke because you're so stuffed up, but the vomit doesn't come from the colon. This leads us to have many questions for this mom.
NO ONE Touches The Basket Of Whiffle Balls
Photo Credit: Reddit / @andyrosenberg
This little girl is apologizing for hitting over her older brother's whiffle ball set in the most sincere way possible.
You know she was genuine about it because she sacrificed valuable driveway space to write the apology. She'll now have to wait until the next rainfall until she can use that canvas again. A big sacrifice was made.
What Is A Smace? Do We Want To Know?
Photo Credit: Reddit / @hullobirdy
According to the Urban Dictionary, the word "smace" refers to someone who has a small face but a normal sized body.
This just confuses me even more. Is it code for something? It kind of sounds like a combination between smashing someone's face and perhaps using a mace as a weapon? Am I looking too much into this?
