Kids Who Are Literally Killing This Game Of Life Before Even Entering It
For most of us, it takes quite a few years on this earth until we can get our bearings and become functioning human beings. Let's be honest — it took some of us till we were 10 before we could ever comprehend tying our own shoe or put on a shirt without having it inside-out.
Unfortunately for our egos, there are some kids out there who basically need no time at all to establish themselves as bosses. They're basically functioning adults in little bodies. This article gives you some insight into these little geniuses. Warning, it will make you want to get a new kid.
She's Got Style Beyond Her Years
It's really sad to see that this little kid has 1000 times better style than probably half of the adults on this planet.
What's really disappointing is that this little girl isn't going to go through that "awkward phase" around 12 years old in which she has the worst style imaginable. Everyone should have to go through that phase because it builds character.
This Is Next Level Petty
Usually, it takes at least 13 years on earth to really master the art of being petty. This kid has it down in six.
He knows that he doesn't have a lot of power in the house, so he needs to strike quick and hard at his parents. This stunt is executed perfectly and will surely bring the intended chaos into quickly eating the rest of the bananas before they go bad.
The Rebellion Is Starting Early
While most of us had our rebellious years at 15 or 16, this girl is starting REALLY early.
She's making it very clear that she doesn't want to go to church by drawing the Devil while in the pews. This would be like dressing up as Wendy as you walk into a McDonald's. Coming up, a hilarious photo of an older sister meeting her younger brother for the first time — it doesn't go very well.
That's A Mild Choking Hazard
This is insanely smart on behalf of the kid here. He's looking for his independence early, so he's disguising a plot to make his dad choke as a "father's day breakfast."
This is a plan that only the most intelligent hitman can carry out. In the end, it was dad's fault for not allowing this little guy to buy the entire Lego section of Toys 'R' Us last week.
These Are Some High Aspirations
When we're young, we have a very skewed vision of what our future holds for us. Perhaps no vision is as bizarre as this kid who wants to grow up to be a mailbox.
While most of us wanted to be a bus driver or a policeman, this kid just straight up wants to be a box that collects everyone's mail. A perfect occupation for someone who likes gossip.
Starting This Sibling Relationship On A High Note
When you're an only child, life is really good. The world literally revolves around you and you get all of the attention you can dream of.
Then, like an unexpected eviction letter from your landlord, everything is taken away from you when you get a baby sibling. This little girl is showing her new brother exactly how she feels, and it's glorious. Just ahead, the key to every kid's energy that will change the way adult's take medicine.
There's NEVER A Bad Time For Cheetos
What most adults don't realize, but this little girl does, is that you can literally carry food with you at all times.
Most women have this massive purse with them but only carry junk in it. Why not carry a full steak dinner? Why not carry a bag of your favorite snacks? This little girl has it completely right.
Note To Self: Be More Vigilant To Pack Away Makeup
This little kid has better contouring and blending skills than most adult women you'll see out on the town.
No, Becky. The fact that you look six shades darker than your natural skin tone doesn't make you look better. It makes you look like you just rolled in a pile of mud and smeared it on your face.
The Only Medicine A Kid Needs
Life is just simpler when you're a kid. Instead of taking pills every morning to ensure your optimal health, kids can take one raw macaroni bit and they're wired for the entire day.
If you're wondering why kids are always so energized, and adults are so tired — it's because as we get older, we start straying away from these macaroni pills. We need to get back to taking them. Coming up, a knocked over bike and a kid with a knife. What could go wrong?
She's Just Cemented Her Loyalty
This little girl saw the opportunity to ask her dad what's up, and she took it. She didn't care what the barriers were — she was going to get to him no matter what.
Dry cement, wet cement, white water rapids, a rain forest— it doesn't matter,. She was willing to put her life on the line for her father. That's loyalty.
Let's Stop Pretending That This Is Normal, Please?
Why is everyone behind this kid pretending that these two little demons are normal? In fact, most of those people look bored with the sight of two kids straight from a horror movie being in front of them.
While kids tend to be cute in their early years, they reach an age when they become little devils, and this is the middle of that transformation.
"It's More Than Just A Bike"
You knock over a kids bike by accident and then the next day you see this. What do you do?
I'm booking the first red-eye space shuttle to Mars. If this kid is willing to show up on my porch with a knife because of a knocked over bike, he's willing to do much worse in the future. I'm out. Just ahead, a kid that was made for the cover of Vogue. It's one of the fiercest pictures of all time.
They Put The Pieces Together Very Quickly
When will adults realize that everything they see in movies is completely real? It took this kid one time watching Toy Story and he had the brain capacity to understand that it must be a documentary.
Toys are alive — they're just scared of humans so when you're around they just play dead. If you've ever ripped apart an action figure, you literally killed a living being. Congratulations.
"What's Up LOSER?"
Can we just talk about how annoying people who go on devices at stores are? The Apple Store is probably the worst for this.
If you sift through the photos of a display laptop at an Apple Store, prepare to have one of the most cringe experiences of your life. It's a bunch of pre-teens taking pictures like this one thinking they're about to be on the next cover of Vogue.
This Kid Is VOGUE
Speaking of Vogue, the kid on the far right of this picture is destined for it. While every other kid looks about as awkward as Taylor Swift when Kanye interrupted her at the VMAs, this kid is workin' it.
They were all told to say "CHEESE" but this kid embraced his inner Lady Gaga, Kendall Jenner and Madonna to strike the fiercest pose of 2018. Coming up, we get a sneak peek at the next big entrepreneur this world has ever seen.
This Kid Wins Halloween
Just when you think that your crappy bunny costume was the winner of Halloween, you see this picture.
This kid was told to dress up as his hero. While other kids were dressing up as Batman and Spiderman, this little guy dressed up as a fart. This is the true winner of Halloween.
It's About Finding The Loopholes
While most parents can usually outsmart their little ones, this kid isn't about to be taken as a fool.
He finds every loophole in his punishments and exposes them beautifully. He's taking his parents literally when he needs to (like in this case) and figuratively when he needs to. This is a true genius.
The Creativity Is Oozing Out Of This Kid
Ladies and gentlemen, move over, because we have a future star in the making here. Life's about making something out of nothing which is exactly what's happening in this paper.
While he was told to put a bunch of shapes in a specific order, he saw the big picture and created something no one has ever seen before. This is putting the conventional take of "blob" to shame.
The Next Steve Jobs?
Let's be honest here — we're always told to not take the easy way out, but we don't really listen.
Finding the easy way out is many of our life goals. If you're inherently lazy, you call taking the easy way out "being efficient with our energy." This kid has all the right tools to be efficient in the future.
Shooter's Shoot
This little kid knows that he's probably never going to get the chance to kiss a dolphin again, so he made the best of it.
If you're going to do it, do it. Shoot your shot. This kid painted a strip on that dolphin with his tongue, and it's the best thing I've seen all day.
