Before I start this article, I want to give a trigger warning to any caffeine addicts out there. This is probably going to be TOO real for you in terms of having to come to terms with the fact that you’re a slave to the drug.
Let’s get one thing straight — caffeine is running rampant in our streets, schools, and coffee shops. If you yourself aren’t an addict (yet) then you know someone who is. It could be your teacher, mother, pastor, friend, neighbor, etc. They crave the ‘high’ and make poor decisions (like paying $14 for a ugg boot latte at Starbucks) to get it. We need to stop these people and give them an intervention before it gets out of hand. By the way, in throughout this article, I DO NOT over exaggerate AT ALL. Not at all.
It’ll Make You Come Out Of Your Shell
Only caffeine could make an iguana want to learn how to play the guitar and sing. It went from living a boring life in a pet store to selling out stadiums across the world.
Once the Iguana: Listen To The Music album hit the shelves, it’s going to be a paradigm shifter in the music industry. I can’t wait.
Not My Idea Of Passing Time
Are you kidding? Only when you’re high on caffeine does being bored turn you into the next Guy Fieri in the kitchen.
When I get bored, I try to take a 20-minute nap which turns into a six-hour nap. This guy apparently turns into the next winner of Hell’s Kitchen.
This Isn’t Where I Parked My Car
Caffeine makes you get ambitious and want to try things you wouldn’t usually try sober.
For example, this cat decided it was time to explore the innards of a pinata without any consent. By the look of the pinata face, it’s never been violated in that way before. Coming up, a person who is so caffeine high it landed them in the emergency room.
Get This Girl Some Coffee
This is just a public service announcement to anyone who is against getting high off of caffeine. This is what will happen to you mid-day.
You won’t be able to stay awake and you’ll end up like this girl who has fallen asleep at work. You can sleep when you’re dead. Daylight is too precious.
You can literally turn into a superhero if you get high off of caffeine. Once you realized the benefits of doing the drug, it’ll ruin Spiderman for you.
All Peter Parker did to turn into spidey was drink a coffee. This kid had a single sip and within 20 minutes he was hanging in the backseat like this.
When You Feel The Beat A Little Too Much
I dare you to drink a Coca-Cola before listening to dance music. Okay, no I don’t. Actually, yes I do.
This person drank a full 1L of soda and was so hyped up that they literally wanted to feel the beat and ended up getting their hand stuck in the speaker. A tragic accident that should be a lesson to everyone. If you want to see why it’s important to not drink a coffee before working at a pizza place, you’ll need to stay tuned for the picture just ahead.
The Whole Boating On The Highway Thing Is A Bit Scary
When you’ve just had a large iced coffee from McDonald’s, you feel like nothing can stop you.
In fact, you turn into the worst Grand Theft Auto player in the world and decide to try the most illegal stunts of the road. This is an example of that.
The Ambition Is Real
This is what happens when you start trying to enhance your meals with stupid ideas. A burger shouldn’t have a shell. Let me rephrase that — it shouldn’t have a cardboard shell.
No one who’s sober would’ve ever thought about doing this. It completely ruins the taste of the burger.
The Dedicated Pizza Artist
The problem with getting high before working at a pizza place is that you actually want to turn into the pizza.
You can’t help the fact that your appetite is running wild after you’ve drunk a nice cup of Earl Grey tea, and it shows with this pizza shop worker. Coming up, a high ex-girlfriend had her way with her cheating ex’s car, and it’s awful.
So Many Questions Here…
One positive about caffeine is that it will make you try new, bizarre things that could land you in the Guinness World of Records.
This guy has a potent espresso and went to the nearest street pole and planted that sucker on his head. Boom. World record holder.
Way Too Much Airplane Food
The problem with drinking a tea before boarding a plane is that it’ll spike your appetite immensely.
This person ended up eating almost the entire stock of food that was on the plane and ultimately embarrassing themselves in the process.
Someone who was sober would’ve just exacted revenge on their ex by running a knife down the side of the car or even slash the tires.
This would’ve taken too much effort for a sober girlfriend. It’s easy to tell that a caffeinated person was behind this because the effort level was absolutely killer. Just ahead, we dissect why only caffeine high people actually do yoga.
The Black Sheep Of The Class
When you’ve got a lot of caffeine running through your body, it ends up destroying all of your creative cells.
You no longer can draw or paint a beautiful picture. This kid slipped some root beer into his juice box this morning, and it’s showing in his artistic abilities. Sad to see.
This Is What Confidence Looks Like
Just as getting drunk can make you end up hooking up with someone you wouldn’t even think about sober. Getting caffeine high gives you an incredible amount of confidence.
This was a doomed idea from the start, but that didn’t stop this guy and his green-tea drinking friends from wanting to try it out. It didn’t work out very well, but kudos for trying.
Yogis Are Permanently High
To have the energy to want to do yoga all the time, you basically have to be high. Two, three, or even four cups of coffee prior to yoga is the only way you’ll be able to do it.
The guy in the bottom picture is so caffeinated that he even decided to do yoga in the bathroom. What a trooper. A guy goes online shopping after he drank a coffee and it did NOT turn out good.
Whoops, Tiny Mistake
You don’t always think straight when you’re high off of coffee or soda and this picture is a perfect example of that.
It makes you feel very excited about everyone and proud of everyone. This person just wanted to show their love for their friend but ended up jumping the gun and spray painting someone else’s car. Whoops.
How Do You Even Get Up There?
Only someone who’s taken a little too much caffeine would be able to somehow maneuver their way into this machine.
The best part about this is that the kid kept dropping toys down the hole for his friends. Not all addicts are bad people.
Post-Midnight Online Shopping
It shouldn’t come as a surprise that caffeine keeps you awake at night. One of the overlooked negatives is that you end up doing dumb things when you’re laying in bed waiting to fall asleep at two in the morning.
One of those dumb things is going online shopping. Your brain doesn’t process anything past midnight, so making impulse purchases like this is VERY normal.
That’d Be An Interesting Five Minutes After The Shot
There are a lot of caffeine imposters that try to ride off of its addictive traits to get people to buy it.
There’s a lot of poison out there that could kill you within 20 minutes of ingesting it. Always read labels because the world is a savage place when you’re a caffeine addict.
You Played Yourself
Well, I don’t know what the babysitter was expecting to see once the little guy got ahold of one of the strongest drugs on the planet.
They should just be lucky that the little guy isn’t dressed in full spandex and a headband ready to train for the next Boston marathon.