We all have secrets that we don’t want people to know. Much of our lives are spent trying to reassure our peers and family that everything we’ve done in our life is with purpose and reason.
Some secrets are small, like when you told your parents you aced a math test when you actually failed it. Other secrets are big, like saying to your parents you’re a straight-A student when you’ve dropped out. We all have secrets that we hold close to us. Brave people on the internet took to Reddit to share secrets that could ruin their lives if anyone found out, and they’re earth-shattering. Prepare to laugh, cry, and be incredibly confused.
The Fake Scholar
You know what? This is actually very respectable. It’s kind of like the definition of faking it until you make it.
Yes, there’s some lying going on here, but the result is working out just fine in the end, and that’s all that really matters. We all lie on our resumes. No one is actually proficient in Excel.
It’s A Love Story With A Sketchy Start
At first, when you’re reading this, you want to break this guy’s neck for diving into someone’s most profound secrets in their diary.
But, by the end, you’re rooting for them both. I mean, if you’re going to read a diary, then you might as well use it to your advantage to finesse your future wife.
The Poo Flinger
I don’t even know where to start with this story. All I have to say is that this person should undoubtedly keep this to themselves because it’s vomit-worthy.
This puts an entirely new meaning to drywall. I don’t even know what that means, so I’m just going to move on to the next secret and hope it’s cleaner. Coming up, a secret that involves a camera and a New York Mets game. It’s illegal, to say the least.
Uh, So Many Questions
Wow, nope, this didn’t get any better from the last secret. There’s being a shallow person, and then there’s this guy.
Stealing from your dead cousin’s room is probably about as low as gets. I don’t know how anyone could sleep at night after pulling this stunt off.
The Cake Bo$$
Okay, FINALLY, a funny secret. There’s so much wrong with this, but at the same time, it’s hard to blame this person for continuing with her cake business.
It just goes to show that people unwittingly believe “professionals” are always right. With this logic, throwing a frozen pizza in the oven and serving it as Domino’s is inevitably the next big scam.
This Is The BIGGEST Secret
Okay, of all the secrets that we’ve read about today, I have to say that this is probably the worst one.
I cannot believe someone dared to tape a BASEBALL GAME. That’s not okay. This could be death-penalty worthy. Coming up, a secret that someone has kept their entire life about their eyesight, and it’s bizarre.
Well, That’s Not A Good Position To Be In
Imagine going through life and tolerating your “friends” that you actually hate out of fear of loneliness?
That’s one of the saddest things you’ll ever hear. The thought of dreading a hangout with people that you despise would be awful. It shouldn’t feel like a chore to be surrounded by your peers.
The Next Movie Of The Summer?
I don’t know about you, but I think that this could be a great movie. It’s unfortunate that someone actually has to live like this, but the plot is so bizarre it would probably do very well.
Lying to your friends and family about your job isn’t that unusual, but the whole prostitution thing adds an unexpected twist.
This Story Isn’t Black And White
This is such a weird thing to lie to your family and friends about. It just seems so inconsequential to your everyday life if you just told people you’re lying about being colorblind.
I guess it’s a matter of being in too deep with the lie now, and they’ll become very curious about what other big fibs you’ve been telling. A secret that combines Poseidon, a gang, and a death. That’s coming up.
We’ve All Been There
Think about all the little lies you’ve told as a kid that you can’t go back on and just have to keep living out.
Lying is so easy to do. Often times it’s easier than telling the truth. If you want to make your life seem way cooler than it is, then lying is an easy fantasy escape.
It’s Going To Be A Lit Saturday
It takes a certain type of person to set a tree on fire in the first place. Like, who thinks “I’m bored, I might just light this tree on fire for fun”?
It also takes a certain type of person to look at the damage they’ve done and want to be recognized for it. Yikes.
Is That You Poseidon?
I don’t know where to start with this. First of all, this person is a little bit too nonchalant about the fact that he killed someone.
Second of all, who walks around carrying a trident outside of Comic-Con? That’s just plain ridiculous. I don’t know how anyone could’ve taken you seriously. I guess this is what happens when you take on your rival TV News anchors. Coming up, someone fakes an accent for many years of their life, and it’s easy to see why.
It’s Safe To Say He’s Had Better Days
Imagine accidentally KILLING seven people? That’s just straight up messed. I couldn’t even comprehend the amount of emotional stress that would cause someone.
It’s one thing to have malicious thoughts about killing a person, which many murderers have, but it’s another thing to accidentally do it and have to live with that.
Could you imagine finding out that the person who sold you the house is still living on the property IN A BUNKER?
There’s a reason that so many of us have trust issues. One of the main ones is that there are PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN BUNKERS ON OUR PROPERTY.
This Is One Of The Power Moves Of The Century
It shouldn’t come as a surprise that the Austrailian accent is the smoothest one in the entire world.
You can say the rudest thing to someone, but if it’s said in an Aussie accent, it still sounds beautiful. You could be the ugliest person on planet earth, but if you have the accent, your attractiveness soars tenfold. Coming up, a person is legally dead in America but lives a double life.
Mildly Gross, Mildly Fascinating
While this makes me really angry when I first think about it, I’m also very fascinated at the same time.
I’m just going to assume that this person can’t go to the bathroom in public. I don’t know, but that’d be one awkward encounter to be peeing next to a person who’s trying to clean their hands.
You’re Not Guilty Until You’ve Been Caught
If you’re going to write a research paper that someone has already written, why waste time to regurgitate the same information?
Life is about finding the loopholes and exposing them most efficiently. What this person did is just using resource management to their advantage, and it’s genius.
I don’t know what kind of life this person had in the USA, but it must’ve been awful if they’re willing to fake their own death to get away.
Congratulations to him for being able to successfully pull this off without anyone knowing. Also, it would be kind of fun to be able to watch your own funeral. Self-serving sure, but interesting nonetheless.
This Is My Spirit Animal
Okay, this is something that I can relate to. No, I haven’t stolen 90% of my clothing, but I kind of wish that I did.
I would be able to buy a mansion if I didn’t spend money on overpriced clothing. This shouldn’t be a secret. This should be something you share with no shame.
Not All Heroes Wear Capes
I don’t know, but there are so many secrets in this article that could be seamlessly transitioned into a blockbuster movie.
This is basically like a mob and crime movie that could take The Sopranos down. It also has the happy ending when the son rights all of his family’s wrongs, which is inspiring.