World Records That You Absolutely Don’t Want To Break

Many of us dream about setting a world record of some sort. I mean, who wouldn’t want to break the record for blowing the biggest bubble in the world? Or, running the fast 40-yard dash?

With that being said, there are some records that just don’t need to be broken. Some people in this article set out to just get their name in the record book no matter what the cost. Others made their way in there by unfortunate circumstance. All of it is bad. Prepare yourself.

Farthest Distance Survived In Tornado

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In 2006, Matt Suter, a 19-year-old high school senior in Missouri, was in his grandma’s mobile home. He heard some noises outside and soon realized he was in the middle of an intense storm.

Well, that storm was actually a tornado which threw him 1,307 feet from his grandma’s house. That’s the equivalent to four football fields in distance. The best part? He survived.

Farthest Distance Pulled By A Horse While Full Body Burning

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The thought of being dragged by a horse in the best of times is terrifying. But, professional stuntman Josef Todtling took it to an entirely different level.

He set his entire body on fire and traveled 500 m while getting dragged by a horse. He was protected by layers of clothing, but still.

Longest Sword Swallow

Twitter / @cedarpoint

Nope, nope, nope, so much nope. The world record for the longest sword ever swallowed belongs to Natasha Veruschka. She swallowed a sword that was 23 inches in length.

She did it on February 28th, 2009. Yes, you’re right, that is also National Sword Swallower’s Awareness Day. Uh, okay, no.

Milk Squirting

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If you’ve ever watched cringe TV before, you’ve probably seen someone shoot milk out of their eyeball. Yes, it happens. No, I don’t recommend that being the way to soak your cereal in the morning.

A man named Ilker Yilmaz squirted milk from his eye a distance of 9 ft 2 inches.

Largest Kidney Stone

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Having a kidney stone that’s the size of the Queen ant is bad enough. But, imagine having the largest kidney stone ever recorded.

In 2004, Vilas Ghuse had a stone removed from his left kidney in Mumbai, India. It measured an incredible 5.11 inches at its widest point. That hurts just thinking about it.

Most Armpits And Feet Smelled

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Madeline Albrecht is the holder of the most stinky record of all time. She sniffed approx. 5,600 feet and an indeterminate number of armpits at a laboratory in Ohio.

She worked at the lab for 15 years, and had to do it for many different experiments. I can’t even stand my own feet.

Most Failed Driving Tests

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An elderly South Korean woman known as Grandma Cha-Sa-Soon became a national celebrity after she finally got her driver’s license.

She didn’t fail her test once, twice, or even three times. Nope, she failed her test 959 times. I really think that even if her driving was immaculate, that’s just too many times to assume she’s ready to go now that she’s a grandmother.

Heaviest Car Balanced On Head

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I know what you’re thinking, someone balanced this bus on their head. Well, no. But, someone did balance a Mini on their head for over 30 seconds.

John Evans is a British strongman who put a car weighing 352 lbs on his head in 1999. I think it’s going to be a no from me.

Most Lightning Strikes Survived

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Getting struck by lightning once is kind of a miracle of sorts. But, for a former park ranger in Virginia, it’s nothing.

Roy Sullivan was known as the human lightning conductor. I think you can guess why. He got struck by lightning seven different times and lived to tell about it.

Highest Blood Alcohol Concentration

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When a Polish man was taken to the hospital after a car accident, doctors took a blood test. They were completely shocked to find out that he had a blood alcohol level of 1.48%.

If you’re wondering how high that is, it’s the highest BAC that’s ever been recorded in history.

Hardest Kick In The Groin

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Almost all of these records are head scratching, but this one especially. It has to be one of the most painful records of all time.

American MMA fighter Justice Smith delivered the hardest kick to the groin of combat expert Roy Kirby. The kick had a speed of 35.4km and a force of 500 kg.

Run Over By Most Vehicles

Foto: DENIS CHARLET/AFP/Getty Images.

Someone go give Tom Owens a hug, please. He was run over by nine 3.3 to 4.1-ton pickup trucks in 2009. They ran over his stomach.

Owen is a bodybuilder who has been nicknamed the “human speed bump.” That’s a nickname I don’t think anyone is jealous of.

Longest Ear Hair

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Indian grocer Radhakant Baijpai is the world record holder for the long ear hair follicles in the world. They measure in at a whopping 25 cm. Yes, that’s basically the size of that ruler we all used in elementary school.

He says that he considers his unusually long ear hair a symbol of luck and prosperity and has no intention of ever trimming it.

Most Rattlesnakes Held In Their Mouth By Their Tails

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Anything with snakes just shouldn’t be allowed. Texas snakeman Jackie Bibby put 13 tails in his mouth. He held the snakes for 10 seconds in front of a live audience.

He broke his own record of 11. That’s the same amount of times he’s been bitten by the snake. One of the bites made him lose his leg.

Most Weight Lifted By A Human Tongue

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Thomas Blackthorne has the heaviest tongue lift in the world. I mean, if your claim to fame is that your tongue is strong, does anyone really care? No.

Anyway, he lifted 12.5 kg using his tongue, which was pierced by a hook holding a weight. Blackthorne managed to hold the weight for over five seconds.

Longest Hiccup Attack

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I think I can safely say that hiccups are the most annoying thing in the world. They come at the worst times, and they seem unstoppable. But, Charles Osborne got the worst of it.

His hiccups attack lasted 68 years and he would hiccup about 40 times a minute. They lasted that long because of a busted blood vessel which damaged his hiccup response in the brain.

The Fattest Person In The World

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According to recent stats, it’s estimated that nearly two billion people are overweight. The heaviest person from amongst all these people is a man named Jon Brower Minnoch (not pictured).

He weighed 1,400 lbs, and was able to bring his weight down to under 500 in a period of two years. Sadly, Jon died on September 10th, 1983.

Farthest Car Accident Flight Survived

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An American paramedic was at the scene of a crash when he got struck by a car. The Pennsylvania native was thrown nearly 118 feet into the air and along the road.

He ended up suffering multiple injuries but he was able to make a full recovery and returned to work just a year later.

Longest Pool Dive

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This is a whole tub of NOPEBUTTER. In 2015, a Swiss-born diver named Laso Schaller dove into a pool in Brazil. He was 193 ft above the water, which set the world record.

After hitting the water at a speed of nearly 80 mph, he dislocated his hip. That’s just a mild injury, I guess.

Strangest Diet

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We’ve all tried weird diets. Yes, I’m looking at you, liquid diet that made me drink my street hot dogs in a blender. Okay, kidding. But nobody will ever beat Frenchman Michel Lolito.

During his lifetime he ate 15 bikes, 15 supermarket trolleys, 7 TV sets, 6 chandeliers, 2 beds, one pair of skis, one computer, and even one Cessna light aircraft.

Longest Time Spent On A Gurney In Hospital Hallway

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When Tony Collins, a British diabetic, arrived at the Princess Margaret Hospital at Swindon, England on February 24th, 2001, he had no idea how long he’d be there.

After being told to wait for a hospital bed, he was put on a gurney in a hallway where he remained for 77 hours and 30 minutes.

Most Rotations Hanging From Power Drill

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This one is just straight up bizarre. The world record for most rotations hanging from a power drill in a minute is 148. The crazy feat was achieved by Huy Giang on the Guinness World Records set in Spain.

This is certainly one of the tamer records in this article, but I still can’t recommend giving it a try.

Largest Object Removed From Human Skull

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This is the most PG version of the world record. In 1998, Michael Hill was stabbed in the head with a large knife and left for dead.

He had a 20 cm long survival knife removed from his skull. He did survive the attack, but he was left with memory loss and brain seizures.

Most Clothes Pegs Clipped To Face

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I bet you’ve been sitting on the edge of your seat waiting to figure out who had the most clips pegged to their face in one minute.

Well, drum roll, the answer is 51. This painful world record was achieved in Italy on December, 27th, 2012. Who are these people?

Most Bones Broken In A Lifetime

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We all know Evil Knievel and his daring ways. But, that fame didn’t come easy for the legendary stuntman. He has the record for most broken bones in a lifetime.

He suffered an incredible 433 bone fractures. Think about that. Forget the pain that he endured, think about the hospital trips!

The Biggest Family

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I guess these would be the OG Duggar family. No, they didn’t have a TLC show named after them, but the Vassilyev family was quite the sight for sore eyes.

They were an 18th-century peasant family, and the patriarch, Feodor, had two wives, 22 sets of twins, 9 sets of triplets, and 4 sets of quadruplets.

Most Hand Amputations

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This is something I certainly wouldn’t want the record for. Clint Hallam experienced not one, but three hand amputations on the same hand.

His first one occurred in 1984, the second in 1988, and his third in 2001 when his body rejected the new hand following his refusal to take the medicine.

The Most Fatal Incidents In One Day

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Whenever you’re thinking you’ve had a bad day, just think of Dosha. Dosha was a 10-month-old pit bull that had the worst day ever in 2003.

She was struck by a car in the morning, which police thought was fatal. So, they shot her in the head. She survived, but was put in a freezer after being presumed dead. She lost hearing in her right ear but ended up surviving it all.

Hardest To Kill

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Guinness doesn’t have an official category for this one because they don’t want people competing for it. Michael Malloy, a 50-year-old from New York City, tried to drink himself to death.

After that didn’t work, he tried to eat spoiled sardines. After that didn’t do the job, he laid outside in a snow bank in -14 degree weather and poured water on his chest. That didn’t work either so he strapped a rubber hose to his mouth and filled it with gasoline. That did the trick.

Longest Time Spent In A Coma

Twitter / @ron_nooa

Edwarda O’Bara was a diabetic teenager who fell deathly ill in 1970. She slipped into a diabetic coma and survived until 2012 before she passed away at 59 years old.

She was in the coma for 42 years of her life and her mother stayed by her side the entire time she was unconscious.