People Who Absolutely, Positively Didn’t Get What They Wanted And Aren’t Coping Very Well
It shouldn’t come as a surprise that life is unpredictable. No matter who you are, you’re going to run into speed bumps and roadblocks along the way. It’s how you adapt to these curveballs that determines how successful you’ll be,
The people in this article haven’t just swung and missed three times at these curveballs — they’ve struck out like twelve times each. We’re very thankful for people who deal with their problems as gracefully as a bull in a china shop.
This Is Actually An Upgrade
Can you imagine being able to float around with no legs? That would make life so much easier and better for people who are very lazy like me.
Not having to put one foot in front of the other would make getting out of bed every morning just that much more enjoyable.
Blonde, Blind, It’s All The Same
This is mildly concerning and yet another parent who fell victim to autocorrect, but you have to look at the upside here.
If they just put a blonde girl on the cake they wouldn’t have got the walking stick which adds more icing onto the cake. So they can sort of be thankful.
Meh, Still Eatable
Hey, let’s give credit where credit is due. Most of the fast food places serve eggs give you this processed liquid.
At least, in this case, we know that it’s actually an egg. This could be the next big thing to look out for at breakfast places. It’s finally getting the exposure it deserves. Coming up, pogo stick lovers will need to close their eyes because they’re not going to like what lies ahead.
You’re Going To Have To Suck In, Mom
This is just another battle between parents and the internet that the internet ended up winning.
My guess is this mom went and bragged that she just found this new brand of clothing called “Bratz” and it’s super cheap. Eating her words now.
Those Are Some Expensive Slippers
It’s so easy to get scammed online, but the convenience of being able to shop from your couch ALWAYS clouds that thought.
These are actually pretty cool looking slippers. Now, are they worth $750? Well, I guess that’s up for debate if you’re a bazillionaire and have no foundation based upon money.
Real Life Sucks
Let’s just get this out of the way — real life sucks. This should be illegal to fake someone out with these pogo sticks.
This is like being one number away from winning the lottery. The intense sadness that would come from this would be really scary. My thoughts are with this person. Coming up, a hilarious picture that perfectly describes what it’s like to meet someone for the first time off of Tinder.
Never Eating Fruit Again
This is Exhibit A of why people should stop eating fruit. I guarantee you that you wouldn’t find a scorpion in your Wendy’s hamburger.
Health freaks need to understand that they’re putting their lives on the line everytime they bite into a piece of fruit. It’s dangerous and everyone should just stop. Processed foods ONLY.
And Also Never Drinking Coffee Anymore
Okay, this one is going to pain me a little bit. Apparently, we need to stop drinking coffee too, which is just awful.
Without coffee in the morning, we’ll all have to get a good sleep which just isn’t possible. The world is going to be a miserable place once coffee drinkers see this picture.
Tinder Vs. Reality
Dating apps have completely lowered our expectation vs. reality meter. A girl can look like Beyoncé on her Tinder picture but then pull up on the first date looking like Tyler Perry.
Tinder allows us to see people at their absolute best which is fine in the short term, but detrimental in the long term. Just ahead, a guy’s standing desk went rogue and it’s painful to look at.
It’s A One Way Relationship
Can we just talk about public transportation for a quick second? It’s definitely more inconvenient than having your own car, but the experience is better.
The people watching that you can do on a bus is just incredible. No need for any entertainment when you get to watch people fight each other over a seat to go one block.
The College China Cabinet
It would just be a disgrace to have a china cabinet with nothing in it. But, the plates and cups that go into these cabinets are certainly not in the student budget.
It’s much more meaningful for a college student to have red solo cups and paper plates because they’re a lot closer to the heart.
That’s Not How That Works Dude
Let’s just have a quick conversation about these standing tables for a second. I get it, people are trying to be healthy and preserve their back health, but there’s NOTHING comfortable about standing up doing work.
For anyone who is inherently lazy, like me, this whole idea is an absolute disaster. Why stand when you can sit? It seems like common sense. Coming up, a picture that shows you why you should date a burrito instead of a person.
Don’t Do This To Me
It’s one thing to have protective packaging that’s a little bit excessive, but it’s another thing if it’s this deceiving.
There’s nothing quite like the excitement of buying a piece of pizza and getting back to your seat. The devastation that must’ve occurred when this little slice shows its face would be unheard of.
This Is Why We Have Trust Issues
There are many reasons that people will have trust issues when they’re older. From a cheating spouse to friends backstabbing you, to someone yelling about a 50% off sale at the Apple store.
Another big reason we get trust issues is when people say they’re painting a waterfall on your back, but it’s actually a Spongebob character. Devastating.
Same, Same, But Better
As the saying goes, “close only matters in horseshoes and hand grenades.” In this case, close is actually the better option.
While everyone has a girlfriend or a boyfriend and take these hand-holding pictures, almost no one is dating a burrito. It’s way more practical because they don’t talk back to you, and they’ll never break your heart. Coming up, you’ll get to see the dress that Ariel is wearing in the new Little Mermaid no budget Broadway show.
All About The Perception
When you’re sending your crush a Snapchat of you trying to be candid, it’s important that you get the right angle.
Since social media has taken over our lives, life has become about making your peers THINK your life is better than it actually is.
More Cut Throat Than Hell’s Kitchen
While many of us should just never step foot into a kitchen, this beetle is channeling its inner Italian.
This beetle is already a better cook than half of the people that we see on Hell’s Kitchen. If this little guy wants to help out around the kitchen, I’m all for it.
A Cheap Mermaid Dress?
Why does this dress look like she’s about to star as Ariel from The Little Mermaid? Well, she looks like Ariel if she was a trashy streetwalker with no budget.
If you’re going to buy something online from China, this is the expectation you should have. Don’t expect much at all and set the bar low so that there’s some slight room for actually getting excited about your package.
Vending Machines Are The Devil
Can we just quickly talk about how terrible vending machines are? They’re less reliable than UPS not losing your package on the way to your house.
The failure rate on vending machines has to be pushing 75%. Most people think that the only way to get your stuck item out is by buying another item to hit it down. It never works, so don’t do that.
Well, They’re Not Wrong
Life would be so much easier if names didn’t exist. Why are these called bananas? No one really knows.
If they were called long yellow things, which is very accurate, labeling would be very easy and straightforward. Let’s get back to a more simplistic worldview and stop complicating everything by giving stuff weird names.