Ho-Ho-Horrible Family Christmas Card Fails That Had Me In Tears

The holiday season is finally upon us. Thanksgiving has come and gone, meaning the anxiety that comes with having to pick out Christmas gifts for friends and family has become a reality once again. Sadly, there isn’t much anyone can do to help you with your holiday struggles but perhaps this list of insanely funny Christmas cards can help relieve some of the stress. There’s only one way to find out! Scroll through and enjoy a few laughs at the expense of the people on this list. If you have a furbaby as a child, you’ll want to check out what one family did with their pooch!

This Was Mom’s Idea

We can all tell just by looking at Dad’s face that this family in boxes idea was Mom’s. His face screams “what the hell are we doing, why did I agree to this.”

Daily Mirror/Pinterest
Daily Mirror/Pinterest

Well, Dad, you signed up for this the day you said: “I do”. So smile big because you made this bed. At least this photo has a theme. A little further down the list, you’ll find a family that couldn’t decide which holiday it was celebrating.

Elf On A Shelf

This has to be the most wholesome Elf on the Shelf pictures I have ever seen in my life. The ones I’m used to seeing all involve some sort of deviant behavior, which is perfect for my depraved sense of humor.

COM_Ambassadors/Twitter
COM_Ambassadors/Twitter

I’m telling you, the Elf on the Shelf I know isn’t some fun-loving character. He’s a real sick puppy. You have to keep things as G-rated as possible when kids are involved.

Killing Two Birds With One Picture

Here’s an easy way to save money this Christmas. Next time you go in to take your family portrait be sure to include items from all the major religious holidays, that way you only have to use one picture for Christmas and Easter cards.

Awkward Family Photos/Pinterest
Awkward Family Photos/Pinterest

Talk about thrifty. This family knows what’s up. If you thought this was funny, wait till you see what one family on this list did to make their dog feel more included.

Run For Your Life

Some kids are deathly afraid of clowns, others are traumatized by drunk fat men at shopping malls who dress in red outfits, stink of whiskey and laugh way too much. Which do you think is the more rational fear? I’m going to say the latter. This kid is clearly going places.

Karen#422/Pinterest
Karen#422/Pinterest

The best news for the parents is they don’t have to worry about Christmas shopping or their son now. He’s too scared of the holiday to celebrate it.

Taking One For The Team

Poor doggo was forced to wear a cone on Christmas to keep him from licking his junk. Mom and Dad decided they’d wear one too to show young Ruffles he was part of the family and that if he suffers they all suffer together.

Sandia Park Labradors/Facebook
Sandia Park Labradors/Facebook

That’s what Christmas spirit is all about is it not? Wrong! If the pictures on this list have taught me anything it’s that Christmas has no rules. You’ll get the impression further on down the list.

C’mon Man

The Heisman pose? Really? I always knew Seahawks fans were the worst but this is starting to get out of hand. The self-proclaimed “12th Man” strikes again with this Seahawks-themed family Christmas photo wherein Dad is striking the revered Heisman trophy pose. Yikes!

Sharon Fulton/Pinterest
Sharon Fulton/Pinterest

Did you know that every time Seattle uses the “12th Man” they have to pay Texas A&M? That school originated the moniker and owns the copyright to it.

Cute!

Once a momma’s boy always a momma’s boy, I guess. In his defense, this looks like a super comfortable setting. This couple looks like they don’t have plans to do anything but sit by the fire and watch hours worth of classic Christmas specials.

MeghanWood/Twitter
MeghanWood/Twitter

That sounds like a great plan honestly. I know what I’m doing tonight. Lighting a fire, making some hot cocoa, and turning on The Santa Clause.

The Three Scrooges

Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, Moe, Curly and Shemp get all decked out in candy cane themed scarfs and don matching top hats to take the cringiest Christmas pic of all time. There really isn’t much else to say about it other than that it shouldn’t exist.

Scarlett Swallow/Pinterest
Scarlett Swallow/Pinterest

Sadly, it does exist, and we can’t help but ask whose genius idea it was to take this disaster of a photo.

No Shame December

That right there is a very, very proud man. He owns a big dog, cradles a baby doll whenever he’s feeling a bit paternal and spends his free time watching river monsters while sharpening his hunting knife.

Diane Krawczak/Pinterest
Diane Krawczak/Pinterest

He grew the handlebar stash in support of prostate cancer research during the month of November but when the calendar turned to December he said “what the hell” and kept the fire burning.

You Had To Know There Was Going To Be A Face Swap

The face swap fad blew up on the internet a couple of years back and found its way into just about every facet of our lives. Snapchat, Facebook profile pictures, Instagram posts and apparently, Christmas cards too.

Country Living Magazine/Pinterest
Country Living Magazine/Pinterest

Personally, I can’t stand face swaps but I found this one particularly amusing, which is saying something. Just not as amusing as the weird cellphone family that appears just a few clicks later.

The Bearded Guy Is Definitely Gimli

There’s nothing like a well-timed Lord of the Rings reference to get everyone in the Holiday spirit. If we can all agree that the bearded man is obviously Gimli that means the woman in the picture is Mira, the dog’s name is Buddy and the cat’s name must be Joe.

Hardcore_Hank/reddit
Hardcore_Hank/reddit

I kind of hope the pets are actually that large. It would be pretty amazing, however unlikely we know it is.

Accurate

Christmas is supposed to be a time when family comes together. A time when they sit at a table together where they share good food, enjoy good wine as well as each others company, free of distractions.

zmodica/reddit
zmodica/reddit

That means no Instagramming meals, snapping friends or tweeting about Christmas cake. It may not seem like it, but at least they’re spending time together. One person further down this list wasn’t so fortunate.

Tough guys

Croquet mallets and Christmas vests are a winning combination. These two could run a clinic on how to look super badass in just about every situation imaginable. They’ve checked all the boxes: power poses, subtle flexing of the shoulders and biceps capped off with the intimidating staredown. It’s all here people.

charlottewould/reddit
charlottewould/reddit

No one will ever create a better Christmas card than what you’re looking at right now. It’s just so beautiful.

How Many Daves Does It Take To Decorate A Christmas Tree

It looks like Dave knows how to throw quite the tree lighting party. I spot 17 of them in the frame, including the Dave hiding under the Christmas tree and the one who’s apparently stuck behind it. If you can’t party with you — or 15 of you — how can anyone else, right?

9swords/Twitter
9swords/Twitter

This seriously took some amazing Photoshop skills. Even if you’re not a big fan of the card itself, you have to be impressed with the time put into making it!

Me, IRL

Ultimately, gathering together as a family is great, but when you have to all share to the world everything you’re thankful for to slap on a Christmas card, honesty is generally the best policy. While everyone is happy, hopeful, and hitched, Emily just loves Emily. I appreciate that. Deep down, we all would like to be Emily.

cantseawright/Twitter
cantseawright/Twitter

Actually, this gives me an idea for my own Christmas card this year. Thanks, Emily!

Christmas Is The G.O.A.T. – Literally

This Christmas card may be wildly cheesy (seriously, what thrift store did they pull those absurd Christmas sweaters from? What about that vest?), but the most perplexing part is the goat. How did a baby goat get there? Are they raising it as their child? We can only assume.

Meisje_Sanne/Twitter
Meisje_Sanne/Twitter

This photo really does raise far more questions than it does give answers. I guess we know what everyone will be talking about at the big holiday dinner party!

She’s Totally Not Here For It

There’s something so sad and deeply unsettling about this family Christmas card. Maybe it’s the doll, whose lifeless body is contorted in a position that’d be difficult for any human infant. Maybe it’s the sad pipe cleaner hats or the fact that this wife looks absolutely miserable while her husband is thrilled.

Awkward Family Photos/Pinterest
Awkward Family Photos/Pinterest

I really hope the rest of the family loves horror movies because there is nothing cheery about this card.

Everyone’s In Their Christmas Best

Okay, so this dad actually gets some points for wearing a dress and stockings. Sometimes we all want to look pretty. What’s deeply unsettling is the weird, plastic Santa saluting to nothing and the spray-painted backdrop which looks more like something from the Manson family homestead than a cheery photo studio.

Gina Kenslow/Pinterest
Gina Kenslow/Pinterest

At one point, this point may have seemed like a good idea. At another point it was clear it was not, but the family decided to commit anyway.

What Exactly Is Happening Here?

It’s hard to tell exactly where to start with this one. There’s no snow in sight and the family bizarrely draped tinsel and hung stockings on a cactus. Beyond that, why is the mother in a tennis outfit? Why is the kid wearing some kind of spandex wrestling-slash-ballet uniform? Why are dad’s shorts so short? It truly was another time that I will just never understand.

Echoforsberg/Pinterest
Echoforsberg/Pinterest

Coming up: snakes! On a sled!

Mom And Dad, Please Stop Fighting For The Kids

This Christmas card may have attempted to be funny, but it’s really just kind of sad. Mom’s about to pull a Tiger Woods on her husband, while their baby, who clearly just stopped crying, clings to father, terrified. Dad never even saw it coming.

Alina Egelhoff/Pinterest
Alina Egelhoff/Pinterest

This kid is going to be traumatized for life. Just kidding of course. There’s no way mom actually swung the golf club. That’s what I’m telling myself, anyway.

Snakes Are Part Of The Family Too

We get it – you love your pets. Who doesn’t? Seriously, though, who actually brings their snakes all the way to meet Santa. A dog, maybe. Maybe even a cat. But a snake and iguana?

Daily Mail/Pinterest
Daily Mail/Pinterest

Where does Santa actually draw the line and can you even legally bring those things into a mall. Are they registered as emotional support snakes? If not, I’m not sure they are actually allowed to be brought into the mall.

The Ho Ho Whole Family Is Disgusted with This One

This Christmas card got really awkward really fast. Once the parents finally got their little munchkin to sit still, up goes his lunch. His older brother is even leaning away from him in disgust.

Team Jimmy Joe/Pinterest
Team Jimmy Joe/Pinterest

It would’ve probably been best to just clean up and delete any evidence of this photo from the camera roll, but here we are. I feel bad for this kid, too. Once he grows up, this photo will be used as blackmail by his parents or other siblings.

The Grinch

The girls and their mother are decidedly dorky, but it’s kind of adorable to recreate the Whos of Whoville. What isn’t cute is Dad in a bright green, full-body, spandex suit and creepy face paint.

Livingly/Pinterest
Livingly/Pinterest

Yes, he looks like the Grinch, but man, it could have been a whole lot less weird if he wore anything else. Did he have the green suit just laying around in storage, or did he actually buy the cheapest Grinch costume he could find?

We Can’t Even

This Christmas card is certainly unforgettable but in that sort of painfully cringy kind of way. Basically, we can’t figure out what’s happening here. Are there two, near-identical skiers with Native American heritage (look at their boots) trapped in a cabin with their cat and some fondue?

memesnative/Facebook
memesnative/Facebook

We really need to know more. Are they lovers? Are they brothers? The turtlenecks, the wine, the fireplace on TV – we have so many questions.

#1 Gingerdad

This isn’t awkward. It isn’t awkward at all. These cookies may have been yummy, but this Photoshop job is anything but. They even managed to get the cat and the dog in there. One error: there’s no way the person who allowed this photo to happen should be touting his status as #1 dad.

Mia P/Pinterest
Mia P/Pinterest

Did this really end up being the card that was sent to the extended family? Did they find it funny?

The Nativity Scene

Nativity scenes are a staple of Christmas, which is supposed to be a deeply religious holiday. These people took it one step too far when they decided to recreate that infamous night on their own Christmas card. There’s just something really tacky about making your dog Jesus Christ. I get that some people love their dog just that much, but still…

Daily Mail/Pinterest
Daily Mail/Pinterest

If floating pets are your thing, you’ll love the next page.

It’s Raining Cats And Dogs

It’s hard not to appreciate these people’s commitment to Christmas, but the outfits are definitely a lot. Where do you even buy a puke-green poncho? Regardless, these people crossed the line when they floated their pet’s head behind them as if they were deceased or a distant dream.

alwaysmeapparel/Pinterest
alwaysmeapparel/Pinterest

Why do so many people set up pictures like this with their pets? Do they really think it makes a for a good holiday card?

Family Of Five Christmas Ornaments

Can’t decide what to wear in your family Christmas photo? Why not dress up like giant Christmas ornaments. This is undoubtedly a flattering look for everyone. No, it’s not all awkward and painful to look at. How much did they have to bribe their kids to get in on this one?

Laurel Pulvers Sculptural Painting/Pinterest
Laurel Pulvers Sculptural Painting/Pinterest

They probably didn’t bride the kids at all. What happened was they told their kids that if they didn’t dress up as ornaments then there would be no Christmas this year.

The Christmas Cat

Pets are our family, and this kitty is no exception, but this photo’s sort of sad. It’s not the cat – who looks absolutely fabulous super-imposed in the background. It’s the man’s longing, depressed, empty stare that really gets us in the gut. Was this his only family?

peacock2/Pinterest
peacock2/Pinterest

One day he’ll find someone who loves him as much as he loves his cat. He just has to remember when he does to never let them see this photo.

Honesty Is The Best Policy

Although this had the potential to be a nice Christmas card with such a lovely background, this family wanted to take the more honest route. Instead of pretending that they’re one big happy family like most cards, they’re letting us truly know what they’ve been up to all year. And we respect that. Now excuse me while I check the messages on my phone.

Rebekah M/Pinterest
Rebekah M/Pinterest

Does nudity belong on a Christmas card? You decide.

Never Gets Old

Now, these are the kinds of Christmas cards that we want to see. If you have the slightest sense of humor you can understand the genius behind this card and the man that sent it out.

Liberty Fulmer/Pinterest
Liberty Fulmer/Pinterest

Seeing a card like this genuinely makes you want to get to know this guy and his cat as well. Look at that sweater. If he’s single, this needs to be the first picture anyone sees on his dating profile.

That’s Gangster, Yo!

Seeing this family’s Christmas card really makes you wonder what the whole dynamic of their household is. Christmas morning surely has to be quite the event if this is what the lead up looks like.

Cindy Greenlaw/Pinterest
Cindy Greenlaw/Pinterest

Although it may be a bit cringy, you have to admit that it’s clever as well and that “Ruff Daddy” is the star of the rap collective. That pooch is going to end up have a lucrative solo career.

This Is Art

Something tells us that this family is not new when it comes to out-of-pocket Christmas cards. This is probably one of a series dating from several years back that has developed over time.

unknownuser/reddit
unknownuser/reddit

This looks pretty well thought out and although it’s pretty creepy you have to laugh with them. As long as they are also laughing. Please let them be in on the joke with the rest of us…

Keeping The “Christ” In Christmas

This family is definitely looking to keep the “Christ” in Christmas. So much so, that they decided to dress up like a nativity scene for their card to give to all their friends. This is exactly what the spirit of Christmas is and it needs to be spread via Christmas cards just like this.

Awkward Family Photos/Pinterest
Awkward Family Photos/Pinterest

We bet they went to Christmas mass dressed like this too.Once you commit to the outfit, you commit to the outfit.

Swaggin’ For The Holidays

Judging by the quality of the picture, the background, and the sweaters, we can assume that this picture is a decade or so old. What’s funny about this picture is that it was probably cringe-worthy back in the day but would be considered stylish today. This family could sell those sweaters on eBay for a pretty penny to some desperate hipsters.

Anthony Chavez/Pinterest
Anthony Chavez/Pinterest

You’ll never look at lettuce the same way again after this next one.

Seek Help, Please

When you receive a Christmas card like this, it should help tell you that you should cut ties with this family, and fast. Nobody on this planet should have this many little dogs. One is way more than enough, and this is just greedy.

Weird Family Pictures/Pinterest
Weird Family Pictures/Pinterest

There are like five dogs to each person in this picture. We can hear them yapping through the picture. How much money does it cost to take car of all those dogs???

“I Look Great”

This is a classic case of someone getting a spray tan the day that they took their Christmas card picture. Clearly, she hasn’t showered yet so she looks like a bright orange Oompa Loompa.

ilookgreat-61083-77763.jpg
Buzzfed/Pinterest
Buzzfed/Pinterest

Also, the contrast of her next to all of her normal skin-toned family doesn’t help the situation at all. Hopefully after seeing how this card turned out the family decided to start over from scratch and make a new one.

This Makes Me Uncomfortable

Just by looking at this picture, we hope that this made it to the newspapers so these kids can be returned back to their real parents. There is so much wrong with this picture from the black turtlenecks to the garter around grandma Santa Clause’s leg.

Tiffany Pace/Pinterest
Tiffany Pace/Pinterest

We’re not sure exactly how these people celebrate Christmas and we don’t think we want to. Some things are better left not being shared with the world.

Smells Like The Holidays

We know that red and white are two of the most popular Christmas colors, but we don’t think this is what is meant by it. Sure, everybody loves bacon, but the full bacon suits for a Christmas card might be a little bit overboard.

Archie McPhee/Pinterest
Archie McPhee/Pinterest

How many chores did these young men force themselves to do to get in mom’s good graces enough to let them get away with this blatant crime against fashion. And the holidays!

Not Joking

Most of these cards are bearable knowing that most of them are made to be a joke. We can’t be so sure about this one. It looks like this family was trying to take a genuinely festive Christmas card picture which backfired, to say the least.

Vanessa Davis/Pinterest
Vanessa Davis/Pinterest

Hopefully, they learn from this failure and do better next year. Wrapping themselves up in ornaments and lights really was the first big mistake they made here.

Might Need A New Prescription

This is another Christmas card photo that we can’t tell if it’s a joke or not, but we certainly hope that it is. Everything about this photo is awkward from this guy’s sweater to whatever is going on with his eyes.

Cookie Bear/Pinterest
Cookie Bear/Pinterest

Once again, this looks like it was taken a few years back so it very well might not be a joke at all. And hey, the family members who received this card probably stuck it on their fridges.

Winter Wonderland

This photo was clearly taken in some mall photo booth. They had the option of this filter and the whole family thought that it would be funny to take a picture like they were stuck inside of a snowglobe.

Small Sweets/Pinterest
Small Sweets/Pinterest

But guess what? It’s not. It distorts all of the faces so you can’t tell who anyone is, and it’s so cheesy that it hurts. We’re also curious as to what FMDG means.

Monkeying Around The Christmas Tree

This girl just spiced up Christmas in so many ways. Not only did she include a primate into the card, but a primate that’s wearing what looks like a baptismal gown of some sorts. We wonder if she has any other animals running around that just didn’t make the cut for the card.

Lauren Bosman/Pinterest
Lauren Bosman/Pinterest

Is the monkey her pet? Or was it just rented for a day just because she thought she had a really good idea for a holiday card?

Merry Christmas From Rudolph!

What is happening to Christmas? We remember Rudolph used to be a red-nosed magical reindeer that guided Santa’s sleigh. Now, he’s a dead taxidermy head being kissed by two teenage girls trying to be cute.

Eva Britt Pedersen/Pinterest
Eva Britt Pedersen/Pinterest

Of course, the eyes are still open, making it all the more disturbing of a Christmas card.Sometimes even the best intentions are ruined by the reality of the disaster of a Christmas card you just made.

He Sees You When You’re Sleeping

Obviously, this picture was taken in front of the backdrop of an incredibly creepy poster of Santa Clause. It’s probably safe to assume that not a single picture in front of this came out remotely okay. Having anybody looking into your window like that would terrify anyone, especially if it was Santa Clause.

Johnny B. Goode/Pinterest
Johnny B. Goode/Pinterest

When this card was made, everyone probably thought it was great. Now however many years later, it’s pretty easy to see how bad it is.

“The Human Santapede”

I won’t take credit for that joke. I stole it from a Reddit user because it was too good to pass up. If you haven’t seen the movie and don’t understand the reference don’t bother googling it because you’ll regret it.

Christmas Overdose/Pinterest
Christmas Overdose/Pinterest

Human Centipede was both a terrible and deeply disturbing motion picture that represents two hours of my life I will never get back. This photo lives on the internet now and can’t be taken back either.