People Are Sharing Their Dumbest Students Stories, And It’s Amazing Any Of These People Graduated

Hilarious June 15, 2018

Being a professor isn’t the easiest job in the world. It’s a challenge when there are many students who’d rather be anywhere instead of a classroom. Most professors believe that students need the proper motivation, but sometimes, that’s not the case.

A bunch of students and teachers came together to share stories that prove that some students just aren’t that bright. I mean, how hard is it to know where the moon is? These folks might need to go back to school for a semester or two.

Please Tell Us More

A student in my economics class started his final essay with this_“We are all familiar with the country, Africa. Yet at the same time we know little about them. All we know is that it is hot there, African Americans .jpg

Photo Credit: @WorldFlags7/Twitter/bgoegan/Reddit

Given the extent of his “knowledge”, I’m not sure “familiar with Africa” was the right phrase to use there.

This teacher needs to set the record straight and remind the student that Africa is NOT a country. Oh man, is it possible to give out negative grades these days?

We Have Dumb And Dumber, Then There’s This Guy

Back when I was in high school; I was a library aide and I was walking into classrooms distributing some books and I walked into a class with the professor in the middle of an angry lecture on plagiarism because one .jpg

Photo Credit: @TeachSurvive/Twitter/AOLaliel/Reddit

Let’s hope the student is repeating the class for the 25th year in a row. However, most students hand in their papers with stuff like www.freeessays.com right on the page header.

If you’re going to cheat, at least put in a LITTLE effort into hiding it.

Never Heard Of This Davin Chi Dude

I had a student who wrote an art history paper about Leonard Davin Chi. Didn't even run that sucker through a spellcheck or anything. Referred to him as that throughout the entire paper..jpg

Photo Credit: @nortiamagazine/Twitter/glimmerfox/Reddit

Was he also keen on Micahel Ann Jello? He must have been acquitted with Raff eye yell too.

That student is hopeless. How can someone get in a course like this without knowing how to use spellcheck? I weep for the future, but hopefully, this teacher is a dad who loves puns. Fear not, one student believed that some actor named Leo was the same person in two different movies.

But How?

May or may not be dumb, but my friend and I went to her uncle's house which had this piece of paper framed and put on the wall. It was a 0%2F20 on a true or false quiz. Her uncle was a professor and was just too impres.jpg

Photo Credit: @kelseymaidment/Twitter/SubMGK/Reddit

Honestly, as someone who has a smart brother that doesn’t try in the least, this sounds a lot like self-sabotage or a cry for help.

The fact that this person managed to get every single question wrong is an unlikely probability. Yes, he could have been dumb, but it’s more likely that he threw the quiz for some reason.

Your Future Defense Lawyer

I had a student who tried to argue that plagiarism wasn't real after ganking the text of a one page paper on velociraptors straight from a top Google search result for them. _But if you read something, then you're ju.jpg

Photo Credit: @CarvalhoJTElite/Twitter/FreonTrip/Reddit

This might be a stupid question: how often do velociraptors come into play in the criminal justice system?

Oh, that’s right, you have to sue an amusement park for gross negligent manslaughter. Despite that sarcastic answer being fictional, Jurassic Park can turn into a courtroom drama.

Well DUH

High school teacher. Many years ago, I was showing my students clips from Romeo and Juliet. Student stared at the screen in total bewilderment for a few minutes. Then she said, serious as a cancer diagnosis, _How can.jpg

Photo Credit: @pretareporter/Twitter/BlakeMP/Reddit

Leo made Romeo and Juliet FIRST then the Titanic came second. Shakespeare wrote one while the other sank into the ocean.

This reminds me of the guy in our class who didn’t understand reruns. We were in the dorm lobby and buddy freaked out when Seinfeld came on. I promise that not all of us are idiots. The next one ahead proves just that.

That’s A Great Shout Out Right There

I remember going on a bus trip with some student to a lecture and book signing event in Iowa City. As we were driving down the Interstate, surrounded by cornfields, one of the students yelled, _Who in the HELL eats a.jpg

Photo Credit: @kodappully/Twitter/lazlounderhill/Reddit

I’m going to have to remember that the next time I pass by miles of garlic fields in the valley. To be fair, it’s not that bad of a question.

Iowa produces a ton of corn. It’s an incredibly stupid government subsidy, and high fructose corn syrup is in everything these days.

Of Course, The Red, White And Blue Moon!

This happened in high school, senior year.Our teacher was talking about the phases of the moon and this girl raised her hand and ask if other countries have moons too. She thought the moon was only for the US..jpg

Photo Credit: @P_J_Richards/Twitter/yohan_teh/Reddit

Too bad they forgot about Sailor Moon. The trouble is that it’s not just the students. It’s also the masses since most students can’t find the US on a world map.

Don’t worry, this is much better than having a Canadian kid in the class say “I just moved here from Canada and they think I’m slow, eh?”

Some People Must Be Afraid Of The Average American

In freshman year a girl asked my history teacher if George Washington or Thomas Jefferson invented the lightbulb.In sophomore year a girl asked if Spain was in the US and the guy behind her said _We don't need to kno.jpg

Photo Credit: @KAIISHI_LAMPS/Twitter/TheSaltiestSaltine/Reddit

I promise that not all of us are idiots. Imagine being an exchange student in Texas.

You’re sitting in geography class when the first questions you hear from your schoolmates were: “is Poland a Russian republic, do Polish women shave legs, and do we have TVs?” The next one ahead will leave anyone dumbfounded, even if it makes sense.

How Did She Even Get Into The Program?

During an oral exam (basic engineering electronics) a girl could not answer a single question. So I ask her simpler questions. I bring close the oscilloscope and point at the power switch - it was pretty clear it was.jpg

Photo Credit: @DesignSparkRS/Twitter/thepadhadiguy/Reddit

An on-off switch is something even preschoolers can recognize. However, she could have had serious stage fright.

Fear of public speaking is at the top for sure and speaking under pressure in a crowd is tough. She clamped up, but that’s what happens when you’re nervous and put on the spot.

Dumbfounded For A Week, Maybe A Month

We were discussing the three most common phases of matter--solids, liquids, and gases. Using water as the example, I asked a student to tell me what we call the solid phase of water. He replied, _Oil!_.jpg

Photo Credit: @globeandmail/Twitter/disastar/Reddit

No, second-grade science won’t save you this time. Hasn’t that moron ever heard of water or H20? I guess he puts oil in all of his cold drinks.

It would make him sick, but that just proves how slow he is. All that oil has probably killed his brain cells.

Meanwhile, Some People Believe The Earth Is Flat

History. Prof. is talking about some expedition or something and mentions Antarctica, is standing in front of a world map. Girl raises her hand. Asks, _excuse me, but where IS Antarctica__Prof. stands there unable to.jpg

Photo Credit: @Rainmaker1973/Twitter/caliundgrd/Reddit

That was really rude of the professor to go off like that. He was kind of an idiot for doing this since she was asking a legit question. Way to destroy your students love of learning you fool.

Teachers really don’t need to shame their students, but they will never learn. Still on the way, a conversation between the teacher and student is such a Ralph Wiggum thing.

He Can’t Remember What Class He’s In

I'm a French teacher, so I'm not sure if this counts but here goes_ Everyone in the class had a fairly lengthy piece of French homework.One student put the entire thing in Google translate, but translated it to Spani.jpg

Photo Credit: ZuZuDotAl/Twitter/GreatJobTeam/Reddit

He’s not the only one who’s gone through this. Just last week, I bought something from the store and ripped up the instructions before I realized that I needed them.

However, the only parts that were readable were in French and Spanish. Not being bilingual, I decided to Google the instructions instead.

Poor Megan

When my mom was a history teacher at a local high school, they went on a trip to Spain.One girl, let's call her Megan, was not quite a clever student. They went to a restaurant to eat and Megan was looking at the men.jpg

Photo Credit: @SchulzBrauBC/Twitter/Easteregg123/Reddit

It was scary reading about it until she was trying to read the German menu. It pains me that she didn’t know what German was.

It’s a different language since it seems like that’s a tourist area in the summer. However, most tourists aren’t prepared for anything but the English language.

That Teacher Is A Savage

One of my husband's colleagues said a kid came up to him after an exam and said, _I didn't know the answers to the questions you asked on the test, so I made up my own questions and answered them._ The professor said.jpg

Photo Credit: @jordifreix/Twitter/BSB8728/Reddit

There’s nothing wrong with this. Our politicians do this all the time. It’s also problem-solving in the weirdest way possible.

I mean, it could be worse. He could tell all the kid’s friends what a complete moron he really is. It’s the most Ralph Wiggum thing ever. One student is too influenced by a basketball player. The fact that they have one thing in common will make your head spin.

At Least He Grasped The Concept, I Guess

I teach a class on the history of Psychology. When covering the chapter on behaviorism, and discussing the ideas of its founder, John Watson, who was a determinist (did not believe in free will) - a student asked me .jpg

Photo Credit: @BakerStJournal/Twitter/perceptionactionprof/Reddit

It was probably a joke, but he confused a fictional character with a real psychologist. He probably thought Sherlock was real too.

He’s not entirely stupid, but maybe he thought the author just used a real person as a character in the book. This ordeal happens often.

One Sketchy Way To Introduce Yourself

My wife teaches public speaking. The first speech in that class is just a simple narrative speech. Tell a story from your life. She had a freshman tell the class about a time he helped his boss in high school kidnap .jpg

Photo Credit: @LaquittaBrooks1/Twitter/mmeestro/Reddit

For kidnapping? He must have mistaken the class to be a creative writing course. I guess the goal of the class was finally reached, but I would look for another class to take.

That way, you avoid this sketchy person and hopefully avoid being kidnapped.

THE EARTH IS NOT FLAT

I once had a classmate who thought we didn’t know the world was round until we invented planes..jpg

Photo Credit: @GAviationmedia/Twitter/Chicagosubbottom/Reddit

If I was younger, I probably could have believed this until I went to preschool. Well, maybe if he grew up on the Great Plains in Canada, that would make a ton of sense.

However, he is too influenced by Kyrie Irving, who believes that the Earth is flat. Whatever floats your boat, Kyrie.

Technology Has Come A Long Way

Not a professor, but a high school math teacher. I had a student who answered a FaceTime call during the final exam. I just took her phone, told the person on the other end “Not a smart idea” and hung up on him. I le.jpg

Photo Credit: @rachael645433/Twitter/AlwaysShamo/Reddit

This sounds pretty confusing. You mean, there are correct answers and incorrect answers to the same question? Why didn’t anyone tell me this before?

Honestly though, with the way the situation went down, this sounds like something out of a sitcom.

Haven’t We Learned Anything From Ferris Bueller?

Had a kid skip my class every day. I had a working discussion section one day every other week where the students would work on one of the homework assignments together in groups -- the kid would show up during the l.jpg

Photo Credit: @cinematicartistry/Twitter/Alrik/Reddit

Unfortunately, the world is full of people who want to be in charge but got there using methods like this.

All they care about was getting ahead, but never did any of the work to get to there. If you have the misfortune to have one of those people as your boss, good luck to you.