People Are Sharing Their Most Cringeworthy Fanfiction Memories

Fanfiction is exactly what it sounds like. Fans of shows, books, and movies write their own version of events. They put themselves into the franchises and sagas they love. They write their favorite character as they see them. You can make anything happen in fanfiction. You are the master of your own destiny.

Recently, a Reddit user posed the question, “people who wrote fanfiction between the ages of 12 and 16, what’s the funniest thing you wrote completely seriously?” The people of Reddit delivered. Keep reading for some of the funniest, cringiest, fanfiction to ever grace the internet— including the funniest way to boost your word count.

The Next Arthur Conan Doyle

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“During my Superwholock phase (I know, I regret it, too), I wrote a high school AU Sherlock fanfic on (where else) that ended up with thousands of views and a few hundred followers. This was in 2012.

In 2014, my freshman year of college, I was visiting my sister at her school and while talking about cringey fanfiction memories, her friend mentioned having read a well-known Sherlock high school AU. She told us the title. It was the fanfiction I wrote in 2012. It was 30 chapters long and probably rivals the length of my undergraduate thesis.” —/u/coffeeandsoymilk

The Whole Wizarding World Is Cringing


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“Once I wrote a super dramatic fanfic about an [original character] kissing Draco Malfoy. I was so proud of it that I made my dad read it.” —/u/BuffaloBuckbeak

I think I just cringed into another plane of existence. Can you imagine being the dad in this situation? Like, “nice job kid, now burn this and don’t show it to anybody ever again.”

Getting Steamy In The Death Star


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“But, more likely than all of the options, it was because Leia was sitting on the edge of the bed, propped up on her elbows, legs spread and honey pot there for the taking.

Han was goddamn Pooh Bear in that moment, and he wanted to do a lot more than taste her.” —/u/naked_nun_run

The True Wife Of Legolas

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“I wrote myself into Lord of the Rings as not even a Mary Sue but just as me. I married Legolas. The best part is definitely that this was in the ’90s so it was even before the movies were made.” —/u/SuperRadPsammead

This is the nerdiest thing I have ever heard. I dare anyone to try to beat this level of nerdity.

Just Think About The Mechanics Of It All

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“Wrote? I made an entire 30 minute Bionicle movie. With a sex scene. Between Takua and Jaller.

I showed it to a friend and then promptly deleted it because it dawned on me halfway through the showing that it might actually be the worst work of fanfiction ever produced.” —/u/brickmack

These Boy Bands Do More Than Just Sing


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“This made me remember a Livejournal community I was in called “Slashypunkboys” that was all gay fanfiction stories between bands like Good Charlotte, Taking Back Sunday, Brand New, Blink 182 etc. in the early 2000s.” —/u/SunnyLego

Apparently, a lot of kids in the early 2000s were into this sort of thing. This story still exists, if you feel like going on a hunt for it.

We’re All Anime Characters At Heart


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“I’ve been trying to repress this memory for almost a decade.

I started a self-insert fanfic where the character based on myself created a portal to the “anime world” so I could insert myself into the lives of my favorite characters. Thankfully I never finished it.” —/u/FencingFemmeFatale

Even The Undead Love The Happiest Place On Earth


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“It’s thankfully lost to time by now, but somewhere around the early 2000s I was deep into zombie-related fanfic and I was working on a story about a zombie outbreak at Disney World.

The first action set piece, before any zombies ever showed up, was a street fight between the response team and a group of costumed Disney mascots. The line “Heigh-ho, mother******!” was used, followed by one of the Seven Dwarves getting curb stomped.” —/u/StaplerLivesMatter

Two Worlds, One Family


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“I was actually 11, but I wrote fanfiction based on Animorphs and Pokémon, my two favorite series at the time. I called it PokéMorphs, which was a name I actually stole from another website (whoops…).

It was me, my sister, Ash, Misty, Brock, Ax, a girl I had a crush on at the time, and my sister’s best friend all fighting to stop the Yeerk invasion. I made Ash get trapped in Pidgey morph (like Tobias).” —/u/PAKMan1988

Presidential Fan Fiction Is A Thing, I Guess

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“Does Presidential fan fiction count? I wrote an Abraham Lincoln erotica about Honest Abe having a threesome in the Oval Office. I left it up on my computer and my mom found it. She was…confused.” —/u/NecesitasMasMaiz

I guess Honest Abe was kind of dashing. He would fit right into hipster culture with that glorious beard.

What The Beatles Really Did On Those Long Tours


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“As a Beatlemaniac and obsessive classic rock fan in general I came across the concept of slash fanfic for the first time when I was maybe 13. I thought it was really stupid, and decided I would make up my own parody fanfiction making fun of Beatles slash.

I teamed up with my younger brother and we wrote something along the lines of the Beatles’ having one of their concerts all ****** up because of something slash-related. Paul never emerged onto the stage, which led the fans to believe that the Beatles had killed Paul, thus starting the Paul is Dead rumors. I don’t remember anything else.” —/u/ireallylikebeards

Harry Potter And The Half Blood Ritual


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“I once wrote a Harry Potter fanfic where the Americans were invited to Hogwarts and did a blood ritual thing. Edit: let me clarify about the blood ritual. I think it was either a human sacrifice or a period thing.” —/u/isladesangre

The English would make Americans do a blood ritual thing. Let’s face it, we probably deserve it.

Galaxy Far Far Away Idol


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“I wrote Star Wars fanfiction in which members of the Jedi Council were on some kind of talent show that involved ****** covers of top 40 pop songs that came out in 2010.

This is bringing up memories I’ve been trying to repress for 10 years…” —/u/countesscephalapod

This Avengers Fan Fic Is Definitely Not Rated PG


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“‘Ugh, I hate that lady so much,’ Tony mumbled under his breath, and began picking up the beer bottles. ‘Do you really now, sir?’ asked a disembodied voice. ‘Yes. She’s so annoying and whiney, always nagging me and bossing me around,’ Tony replied as though he were used to hearing disembodied voices.

‘I could help you get rid of her,’ said the disembodied voice. ‘Really?’ Tony asked, getting excited. ‘Yes, of course, sir,’ said the disembodied voice. ‘Let’s do it, then,’ Tony said, grinning.” —/u/I_Love_Coldplay

Radioactivity: How All Superheroes Are Born


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“When I was 11 i wrote an entire saga about a superhero named “El Jaguar” who had fire and jaguar like powers because when he was little he got bite by a jaguar on fire in a zoo.

He also had a superhero buddy that gained powers because he ate radioactive soup.” —/u/Vasllui

Do You Hear The People Sing? Singing The Song Of Sexy Men


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“A ton of poorly worded Les Miserables gay porn, you have no idea. On the bright side, I learned more about oral sex from reading fanfic than anything else.” —/u/sjdfagfk09

I’m sure that this is what Victor Hugo had in mind when he wrote his epic literary masterpiece.

Wait, How Do Burgers Fit Into All That?


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“I reread a fanfic of mine that I wrote in middle school. Even though I was young when I made it, I feel i did a good job in writing it. The plot was this dramatic, intense coming-of-age story involving overcoming heartbreak, being blackmailed into sex, and finding the right partner to lose your virginity to. Not too bad of a story I think, albite a bit melodramatic.

The only thing is that it was a bobs burgers fanfic. I wrote a bobs burger fanfic about sex and blackmail and gambling.” —/u/nola-vanella

An Anime Writer In The Making


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“A short (like maybe 200 word?) fanfic for the Studio Ghibli movie Castle in the Sky, in which they arrive at the castle and find out it is actually a giant Wal Mart At the time I sincerely considered it the height of humor.” —/u/saigo_no_dansu

I actually would love to see that movie.

This Is Pure Brilliance


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“I tried to submit a fanfic on a Pokemon website but they would only accept a fic with a minimum word count of about 3000 words. My fic was just supposed to be about Ash going to the supermarket with Mr. Mime. I had no idea how else to lengthen the fic so I just made Ash bump into a wall, get a head injury and speak gibberish for 2500 words.

The fic was rejected.” —/u/coturnixxx

This Is Basically The Plot Of Ghost


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“Oh jeez, I wrote a goddamn Danny Phantom fanfiction and put myself in the story where we fell in love. I attempted to write about a passionate kissing scene. Me, a 12 year old girl who had never kissed a real boy before, tried to imagine what kissing a fricking ghost would be like.

I think my words were something like, ‘His cold, dead lips felt like ice against mine. It’s a good thing I like ice.’ I stopped writing the story and later deleted it after realizing just how cringy it was, but at the time, I thought it was a masterpiece.” —/u/breentee