#WeddingFails Are Here To Remind Us That Every Wedding Isn’t Pinterest Perfect

Thanks to Pinterest and shows like Say Yes To The Dress, everyone expects a lavish wedding that goes off without a snag. But anyone who has actually gone through the experience of planning a wedding or worked in the wedding business knows that it’s never that easy.

All those handmade mason jar centerpieces and DIY photo backdrops won’t matter at the end of the day if the groom ends up getting arrested and you have to use your honeymoon money for bail. The Twitter hashtag #WeddingFails is the quickest way to make any crazy bride snap back to reality.

Never Thought You Would Have A ‘Dead Goldfish Patrol Officer’ At Your Wedding, Did You?

Everyone assumes that the bridal party is there to do just that — to party. But you’d be sorely mistaken. The bridesmaids are responsible for making sure everything goes exactly as planned. Even if that means grabbing dead fish out of centerpiece bowl.

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Photo credit: @trijill / Twitter
Photo credit: @trijill / Twitter

And the groomsmen… well, I guess their job is just to party.

It Looks Like You’ll Have To Call Off The Entire Engagement

Don’t try to fight it. Just accept the fact that you need to cancel your engagement ASAP. I’ve seen The Godfather, and I know that dealing with an angry Italian family is not worth it.

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Photo credit: @passthepinot / Twitter
Photo credit: @passthepinot / Twitter

It’s better if you both just cut your losses and go your separate ways.

At Least You Know Your Photographer Will Capture Every Moment

Yes, this is a total #WeddingFail, but if your photographer can capture everyone’s reaction to him mid-fall, then he can capture all the other moments that truly matter. If this happened to me, I’d give this guy the tip of a lifetime.

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Photo credit: @Chase_Rich / Twitter
Photo credit: @Chase_Rich / Twitter

Don’t Ruin The Party With A Lame First Dance

I hate to be the one who has to speak the hard truth, but the first dance is cute until the first chorus is over. By then, you’re doing to same dance moves, everyone’s got their picture, and we’re all ready to party.

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Photo credit: @KristinaCorine / Twitter
Photo credit: @KristinaCorine / Twitter

I think we should start a petition to limit first dances to a maximum of 90 seconds.

That’s Going To Be An Awkward Limo Ride Home

No word of a lie, this actually happened to a friend of mine. Not at the wedding, but not too long beforehand. The groom and his buddy had been best friends since childhood.

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Photo credit: @KristenRose124 / Twitter
Photo credit: @KristenRose124 / Twitter

It was a double shock since the groom had no idea his friend was even LGBTQ+. That’s one way to come out to your friends and family.

Linda Has Absolutely Zero Chill

Listen, Linda, listen. Not everything has to be about you. Everyone’s worst nightmare is having someone actually stand up and object. At this point, wedding officials should just cut out that part and save us all the three stressful seconds of possible drama.

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Photo credit: @TylerHughs / Twitter
Photo credit: @TylerHughs / Twitter

There’s Always One At Every Wedding

Even if you live in Bomont from Footloose, there is always one person who goes all out on the dancefloor. Usually, it’s a groomsman who has been practicing his breakdance moves, but every once in a while a female guest steals the show.

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Photo credit: @postuptowngirl / Twitter
Photo credit: @postuptowngirl / Twitter

The best part of this photo is that the two paramedics absolutely know she couldn’t successfully dougie.

There Was Obviously A Snorlax Nearby

Even if you know nothing about Pokémon Go, you just need to know that finding a Snorlax is a big deal. It’s one of the most legendary characters in the game.

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Photo credit: @LasonAlex / Twitter
Photo credit: @LasonAlex / Twitter

Leaving your wedding for a game on your phone sounds like the millennial version of Runaway Bride. I’d see it in theaters.

You Had Your Chance To Speak Earlier, Now You Have To Forever Hold Your Peace

First of all, rude. Second of all, this maid of honor already had her chance to say exactly this. It was three hours ago during the ceremony, not in the middle of the toast to the bride and groom. This just proves you never know who will be the one to ruin your big day.

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Photo credit: @e_halter / Twitter
Photo credit: @e_halter / Twitter

Nothing Ruins A Wedding Faster Than Rumored Incest

 

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Photo credit: @smith_127 / Twitter
Photo credit: @smith_127 / Twitter

Kill the lights and kill the mood. Because dancing to “Let’s Get It On” for your father-daughter dance is a surefire way to make half your guests (and probably the groom) suddenly realize they’re feeling sick.

If weddings are for making memories, maybe you’ll want to forget about this one.

Don’t Get Between A Bridesmaid And That Bouquet

Most people know not to get in between a bridesmaid and the wedding bouquet. But apparently, you don’t learn that until Grade 8 because this 10-year-old was ready to get down and dirty for it.

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Photo credit: @awise1214 / Twitter
Photo credit: @awise1214 / Twitter

I like the idea that the MOH was so desperate that she was literally begging for the 10-year-old to let go.

Would You Really Expect Anything Less From Your Dad?

There are two types of dads on their daughter’s wedding day. Frist, there are the ones who are crying the entire time and yelling “my baby is all grown up!” Then there are the ones who couldn’t care less, hate the fact they had to spend so much money on a one-day event and would prefer to watch football.

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Photo credit: @_Saffy_Taffy / Twitter
Photo credit: @_Saffy_Taffy / Twitter

A Mugshot Is Kind Of Like Hiring A Second Wedding Photographer

If this isn’t true love, I don’t know what is. This might sound like a #WeddingFail, but I think it’s proof that these two are meant to be. Yes, she may have had to use their honeymoon funds to post bail, but that proves her love and commitment.

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Photo credit: @Stuhr / Twitter
Photo credit: @Stuhr / Twitter

It also foreshadows the inevitable roles that these two will have in life. The responsible and irresponsible one.

And That’s Why You Shell Out The Extra Money To Get It Catered

The cost of a wedding can add up quickly. If you think an easy way to cut the budget is letting your foreign aunt who “knows a guy” help out, then rethink your entire life.

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Photo credit: @jimmydelao / Twitter
Photo credit: @jimmydelao / Twitter

Aunt Nina can’t even bring a successful potato salad to the summer cookout, so why would you trust her with your entire wedding?

If You’re Going To Make A Dad Joke, It Has To Land

Speechwriting an art form. Any jokes you add in have to be about the happy couple. And if it’s not about the couple, then it needs to be the best joke you’ve ever told in your entire life because weddings have tough crowds.

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Photo credit: @AuthorSHLove / Twitter
Photo credit: @AuthorSHLove / Twitter

Mike Would Like To Be Excluded From This Narrative

Tracy thinks this is a hilarious joke, but I’m positive that 31 years later, Mike is sick and tired of being a part of this joke. It was funny when it happened, but now Mike’s jealous wife hates the story and thinks that something is up between the two.

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Photo credit: @sparkyswife / Twitter
Photo credit: @sparkyswife / Twitter

Can we all please kindly exclude Mike from this narrative and let him live his life?

They Do It To Intimidate The Other Guests

This wedding tradition is genius. For the other wedding guests, it’s terrifying and insensitive. But the bride’s family is just trying to establish themselves as the dominant side of the family, and to be honest, they’re winning.

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Photo credit: @dimsum_dumpling / Twitter
Photo credit: @dimsum_dumpling / Twitter

If anyone from the groom’s side even thought about objecting, they’re second-guessing themselves now.

Cap Off The Wedding With A Slice Of Gas Station Pizza

Nothing says “true love” like signing your wedding certificate in the parking lot of a gas station. This comes off as a #WeddingFail, but I want to believe they forgot to sign the marriage certificate because they were overcome with happiness.

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Photo credit: @LeahHusmann / Twitter
Photo credit: @LeahHusmann / Twitter

I wonder if the gas station attendant had to come out and sign as the witness?

Someone’s In Trouble

So if this guy showed up at the wrong place on the wrong day, there is some serious miscommunication between him and his bride to be.

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Photo credit: @fotodog / Twitter
Photo credit: @fotodog / Twitter

I’m just saying that if those two are starting off their marriage with this level of miscommunication, I give it six months.

That Does Sound Like A Lot

I have mad respect for this couple who fought through stomach flu to get married. They probably didn’t want to pay the venue’s cancellation fee, but if you’re projectile vomiting on a golf course, maybe pay up and reschedule.

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Photo credit: @renee_gillespie / Twitter
Photo credit: @renee_gillespie / Twitter

Your guests are scarred for life, and you’ll probably look like a zombie in the photos. It’s not worth it.