Anyone who travels has likely met a rude person at the airport. Stand-up comedian Steve Hofstetter has traveled thousands of miles to his gigs, and he met one of the worst airport-goers of all. On Reddit, he posted this account of a woman who let her dog poop in the middle of an LAX terminal.
The story has since gone viral because of its relatable content and satisfying revenge ending. Although many debate the authenticity of the story, it’s still a fun tale to enjoy. See how one comedian avenged his fellow passengers by misleading the meanest airport guest of them all.
Airports Are Never Fun, But…
Have you ever run into a rude person at the airport? Most of us have. In 2017, comedian Steve Hofstetter encountered the rudest airport attendee of all time. He was so frustrated that he decided to enact revenge.
Steve posted his entire story on the Pro-Revenge subreddit and later on Facebook, where both posts quickly went viral. He claims that he may have gone too far, but did he? You can decide after reading the entire story.
It All Started With A Dog Doing Its Business
Steve recounts that he was at Los Angeles International Airport (LAX) when this all went down. He was walking to his terminal when he spotted a woman loudly face-timing on the phone. But that wasn’t what kept him staring.
The woman’s dog was squatting and taking a dump right on the terminal floor. Not only was that gross, but it demonstrated a lack of etiquette on the owner’s behalf. And did she clean it up? No, of course she didn’t.
He Wasn’t The Only One Who Noticed
Steve wasn’t the only person who stopped in his tracks at the spectacle. Many other passengers were staring in astonishment, too. One man approached the lady and sheepishly asked, “Excuse me, miss? Your dog?” He pointed to the mid-poop pup.
According to the post, the dog owner only rolled her eyes and continued to loudly face-time. “Some people,” she bellowed with no hint of irony, “are just so [expletive] rude.”
Not Even A Hint Of Regret
So the lady completely ignored the man who pointed out her dog. According to Steve, as soon as the dog finished its business, the woman began walking away. She didn’t even attempt to clean up the doo-doo.
Another spectator attempted to stop her. “You’re not going to clean that up?” the onlooker asked, astonished. The woman answered, “They have people for that.” Everyone stood dumbfounded at her arrogance.
Basic Manners Were Abandoned That Day
“I have nothing against people flying with their dogs,” Steve explained in his post. “I do it often. But it is a privilege I take seriously. My dog is well-trained and behaves better than most people.”
On top of that, LAX includes a pet relief area for this very purpose. According to Steve, this area was “just two gates away from where The Party Pooper let her dog go to town.” She had no excuse.
There stood Steve Hofstetter, an airport crowd, and a pile of fresh dog poop. Steve said that he stood near the pile and made sure that passengers didn’t walk on it. Meanwhile, another airport attendee went to fetch a maintenance worker.
“No one said anything–we were so shocked that anyone could be this horrible,” Steve said in his post. It was as if no one dared speak about the traumatic, ridiculous experience.
That’s The End, Right?
After a while, the airport guests recruited an unlucky maintenance worker to clean up the pile. Steve continued to his gate, ready to put that experience behind him. You would think that’s the end of the story, right? Wrong.
As Steve approached his gate, he heard the familiar dog barking and loud voice. The same woman was sitting at his gate. “Great–we were both going to Tokyo,” Steve stated in his Facebook post.
The Rudeness Didn’t Stop
Steve heard the airport offender before he saw her. According to his post, her dog was loudly barking at everyone who walked by. To make matters worse, the woman was still loudly face-timing. This time, though, she face-timed without headphones on.
Once her loud conversation ended, airport passengers received some relief. It lasted a moment. Then, the woman began playing music with no headphones on. She acted as if no one else existed in the airport.
At His Wit’s End
At this point, Steve had had enough. “I don’t like to throw around the word ‘sociopath,'” he wrote, “but I don’t know how else I could explain just how selfish and terrible of a person she was.
“I’d bet her car was somewhere in long-term parking, parked across three spots with paint on the bumper from the child’s bike she hit without leaving a note,” he joked, except that the sentiment behind it wasn’t a joke.
That’s When He Hatched A Plan
Angry and concerned, Steve invented a plan to enact vengeance on the rude woman. He wasn’t going to take a 12-hour flight with her without putting her in her place at least once.
“When I travel abroad, I get embarrassed by other Americans doing things one hundred times less embarrassing than leaving animal feces on the floor of an airport,” he wrote. He decided to repay the other airport attendees by hatching a small prank.
Beginning His Plan
For his plan to work, all he had to do was put on a fake accent. Steve also waited until less than an hour before the plane was scheduled to take off, just to make her day a little bit worse.
According to Steve, everyone else at the gate was sitting far away from her loud DJ fest. “I am not everyone else,” he wrote. He sat down next to her and initiated his plan.
The One Sentence That Ruined Her Day
Once Steve sat next to the woman, he donned his best British accent. “Are you going to London on business?” he asked her. The woman looked annoyed that he interrupted her obnoxious, unfettered music. “I’m going to Tokyo,” she responded gruffly before returning to her music.
“Oh,” Steve replied, trying to sound confused. “Then you better hurry. That flight got moved to gate 53C. This is the flight to London.”
It Went Better Than He Expected
“I didn’t predict what would happen next,” Steve wrote. He had originally intended to give her a slight panic before she realized that he was wrong. The woman snatched her bags and her dog in a huff before sprinting out of the gate.
“She was so self-involved,” Steve wrote, “she didn’t notice that the monitor at our gate still said ‘Tokyo’ and almost everyone at the gate was Japanese.” He assumed that she would recognize the mistake and return to the gate.
The Perfect Payback
Steve wasn’t expecting the woman to trust him without a second thought. “She clearly believed me,” he later laughed, “which made her even more of a jerk for not bothering to thank me for being nice.”
Steve watched the woman stomp away from her proper flight gate. “Some people,” he thought smugly, “are just so [expletive] rude.” But despite his intentions, Steve’s revenge plans had great consequences for the woman.
How Far Did She Run?
The real Tokyo flight boarded from gate 69A. The 53 gates were on the other side of LAX’s enormous terminal. If she didn’t get lost, Steve predicted that she would arrive in 15 minutes. With her dog and luggage in two, it would likely take much longer.
“I felt guilty knowing she probably berated some poor clerk who had to explain to her that there was no gate 53C,” Steve mentioned in his post.
Would The Woman Ever Come Back?
Not only did Steve trick the woman into running across 16 gates, but he also made up a gate that doesn’t exist at LAX. At this point, Steve knew she would get lost. “I figured I could give her a little moment of panic as payback for how terribly she was treating everyone,” he said.
At this point, there was less than 45 minutes until boarding. Steve and the other passengers could finally enjoy their wait without a barking dog or blaring music.
Waiting For The Woman
In the peace and quiet, time passed quickly. The flight attendants began boarding the Tokyo flight, and the rude woman was nowhere to be found. Steve decided to wait a while, just in case he saw her return enraged. Why wouldn’t he want to see the conclusion to his epic revenge tale?
Eventually, Steve was the last one to board the plane. Giving up, he told the flight attendants that he was “just waiting for someone,” and entered the plane.
Sure Enough, His Flight Was Peaceful
Although he waited, Steve never saw any sign of the woman. “I don’t know if she made it back to this flight before we took off or not,” he wrote on Facebook. “But I didn’t see her board, and I don’t hear her dog.”
It’s safe to assume that the rude woman never made it onto the flight. Otherwise, Steve would have heard loud face-timing and music. Even today, he doesn’t know how the turn-around took her over 45 minutes.
Did He Go Too Far?
“Her missing her flight was not my original intention,” said Steve, “but it would be a fine punishment for her being so rude to everyone and making a low-paid stranger clean feces off the floor.” The consequence is greater than most people think, however.
“What makes me wonder if I went too far is the knowledge that Delta only has one flight to Tokyo each day,” Steve reported. “Whoops.”
Meeting A Mixed Audience
As with any internet story, Steve’s tale met with mixed responses. Most commenters laughed along at what he did. Others feared for his “flight karma” or called the story fake. One thing’s for sure: Steve Hofstetter has a solid story that he can rehearse during any stand-up routine.
For the first time in the story, Steve ended on a note that could help the woman. “Maybe she can re-book on another airline,” he wrote. “I hear they have people for that.”