Put Down The Dumbbell! Here Are Some Of The Funniest New Year’s Resolutions
The new year inspires people to make resolutions like eating healthier, exercising, and improving their lives. Because so many New Year’s resolutions are made in haste or too vague, it’s hard to commit to them, not to mention the guilt of not completing them. So, maybe it is time to put a little fun into the tradition!
Here’s a list of some more quirky and funny resolutions to make the new year a little more fun.
Order every drink from the Starbucks menu
The Starbucks menu is ever-changing, with at least 130 available options under seven different categories, not to mention the customization options available so that every customer can make their perfect drink.
This year, why not make it a goal to try every drink from the Starbucks menu to find your new favorite drink?
Actually dress up for Zoom meetings
Sure, you spend all day at home while working, so why should you dress up for your Zoom meetings?
There’s a psychological component to dressing up, even if you’re working from home. Even if it’s wearing a nice top for your meetings with sweatpants, what you wear tells your brain how to act, and you’ll even take yourself more seriously.
Commit to drinking your coffee while it’s still hot
Waking up and having a hot cup of coffee to start your day is what life is all about for coffee lovers. If only we could remember to drink the coffee while it’s still hot.
This year, try to drink your coffee while it’s still hot. The average mug of coffee will remain hot or warm for around 10-30 minutes, so keep this in mind when you’re enjoying your next cup of joe.
Incorporate more fancy words into your vocabulary
Like adding salt and spices to your food, why not pepper up your conversations by sprinkling in some fancy word like verisimilitude into your vocabulary?
Some people might roll their eyes at you, but sometimes fancy words perfectly sum up a sentiment in one word. And using fancy words can give you the verisimilitude to look like you know about important things.
Eat more cheese platters
Cheese platters are a mainstay of parties and other gatherings. And why wouldn’t they be? With various kinds of cheese, fruits, and nuts, no wonder they’re a big hit.
Make it a goal for the upcoming year to incorporate more cheese platters into your life. Even the lactose intolerant can participate in this resolution, with the number of lactose-free or low-lactose cheeses available.
Stay in the bathroom while you brush your teeth
What about brushing your teeth makes you wonder about the rooms of your home before you need to run back to the sink to avoid an accident?
Make it a new year’s resolution to spend all two minutes brushing your teeth in front of the sink, avoiding messes and others.
Stop googling symptoms
While it’s true that you know your body better than anyone else, there is a lot of harm in googling symptoms and scaring yourself silly.
Doing this can make you feel worse, increasing your anxiety for no real reason. Instead, turn a leaf this year and try to see a doctor and listen to their professional opinion before diagnosing yourself with something terrible.
Make a viral TikTok
The popularity of TikTok has taken over the internet, particularly with anyone under the age of 25.
So why not join in the fun and make a viral TikTok by keeping up with the latest trends, using the right hashtags, and reaping millions of viewers watching you dance for views?
Try going vegan
For the upcoming year, resolve to eat only plant-based food to reduce the greenhouse gases that contribute to global warming.
There are plenty of options to choose from, and if losing weight is on your mind, going vegan can help you feel fuller without overeating. Try a plant-based diet today! Or you can go back to eating meat if craving steak is too hard a temptation to resist.
Shuffle a random movie on Netflix every weekend
Take the stress out of deciding what to watch by putting on Netflix’s “Play Something” feature every weekend in the new year and watching whatever the algorithm recommends you.
Based on your profile, the feature already considers the kinds of shows and movies you like. Who knows, you might end up watching your new favorite movie.
Stop social media doom scrolling
Nowadays, mostly everyone has a smartphone and at least one social media account. Doom scrolling has inevitably become a regular part of our day.
Like mindlessly eating a bag of chips, doom scrolling wastes time damages your ability to focus, and probably makes you dumb. Try limiting your app usage and find more creative outlets to destress.
Let one rip in front of close-friends
Who knew that openly breaking wind could be a sign of closeness? This is a controversial issue, so it depends on your comfort level. But why hide one of the most natural human functions in front of friends that you almost consider family?
And sometimes, accidents happen. What are you going to do? Pretend you’re not human?
Unfriend or unfollow anyone who shares their unsolicited diet or exercise advice
While they may have good intentions, there’s nothing more annoying than being preached about healthy eating or exercising when you’re not even looking for it.
Seeing these kinds of posts is also tone-deaf for people who may have negative experiences with dieting and exercise. So if you’ve been thinking of unfollowing, the new year is an excellent time to clean up your social media feeds from anything you’d rather not see.
Try extreme ironing
If you’re looking for something new and exciting to try for the upcoming new year, why not try extreme ironing?
Extreme ironing is an extreme sport invented in England and involves people taking ironing boards to remote locations and ironing various items of clothing. So maybe next time you’re hiking in a nearby forest, bring an ironing board with you and get wild.
Quit your lip balm addiction
There is something just so satisfying about applying a new layer of lip balm on dry lips, feeling that minty tingling that feels like something’s working.
If you find yourself absent-mindedly applying a new coat of lip balm, you might have a problem. Other than drying out your lips with harmful chemicals, it can be an unhealthy coping mechanism for stress and anxiety. Make a resolution to use petroleum-based lip balms that are better for your lips.
Only press the crosswalk button once
When you’re trying to cross the street, it can sometimes seem like the crosswalk button is only there for decoration. You press it and sometimes wait quite a bit before you can make it to the other side.
As it turns out, some buttons are useless, and the pedestrian crossing light is set on a timer already. So calm down, press the button once, and wait for your turn to cross the street.
Tell the doctor the truth about how much caffeine you drink
It’s tempting to downplay the extent of caffeine or alcohol you consume to your doctor. After all, you don’t want them to judge you.
But keeping this information from your doctor can have significant consequences, and other issues you have may be explained by this information. So this year, take your health seriously and tell your doctor the truth.
Stop telling the same jokes all the time
Yes, you may have a favorite joke you love telling, but did you ever think about how the people who’ve heard it before might feel?
Try to take stock of what you say, and keep track of whether or not you’ve said this joke before. After all, you don’t want to be a one-trick pony, do you?
Stop procrastinating (for real this time)
Procrastinating is inevitable. You’ll sometimes put off all the things you have to do until the very last minute. So it’s no wonder stopping procrastination is a significant new year’s resolution.
Take this resolution seriously by developing a sense of urgency and learning to tackle big projects by breaking them down into smaller parts.
Do a hand-stand everyday
Handstands are fun and more than just a cool trick; they’re a form of exercise. They target the core, improve your balance, and strengthen your upper body.
Even if you’ve never done a handstand before, if you’re physically capable of doing one, why not learn and practice every day until you get it right?
Learn Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” dance by Halloween
The choreography to Michael Jackson’s hit 1984 song “Thriller” is perhaps one of the most well-known dances in pop culture.
Why not take a shot at recreating the iconic zombie dance scene from the music video with friends and family this Halloween? Who knows, you might even end up becoming viral on TikTok!
Use all the vegetables you buy before they start going bad
You buy vegetables because they’re healthy, but unlike frozen vegetables, they don’t last very long.
This year, take a proactive approach by planning what you need before buying too much. Regularly check up to see what’s starting to go bad, and build a meal around that vegetable. Depending on what you have, you can also make smoothies or sauces to use in other dishes!
Remember people’s names
The new year is the time to stop using the excuse that you’re bad at remembering names and instead take a proactive approach to remembering the names of new people you encounter.
As soon as someone tells you their name, repeat it to them, and even if you do forget their name, ask them to repeat it; no harm done!
Take more naps
Remember naps? That activity you used to hate as a child and now crave every waking moment of your life? Why not aim to have more of them in the new year?
While napping has pros and cons, even taking a quick 15-minute power nap can do wonders for your memory and reduce fatigue for the rest of the day.
Sew a sequin onto every piece of clothing you own
Who doesn’t love a sequin? They add a fun splash of color and sequin; even adding one can be an exciting endeavor.
As sequins are inexpensive, adding just one to your clothes isn’t hard. And you’ll be the only one who knows where the sequin is, and you can add them to your shoes!
Start a new tradition
Every major tradition that exists now was once something new and exciting. Whether religious or cultural traditions, they provide a sense of comfort in the familiar.
So why not create your tradition, unique to you, your friends, and your family, that you can look forward to every year and pass down to future generations?
Claim your pets as dependents on your taxes
You may not be able to claim your pets as dependents, but it may be possible to list them as personal expenses.
Service animals, security dogs, pets acting in films, or working as social media influencers can all potentially be claimed on your taxes. Fostering animals for approved organizations can also be a service you can claim on your taxes.
Clean your house once a week
Cleaning isn’t exactly the most fun activity. After all, you have to come face to face with dust bunnies, dead bugs, and dust that never seems to leave your sight entirely.
So when people are coming over, you might have a moment of panic. Instead of cleaning the entire house in one go, start cleaning your home regularly, so you’re not overwhelmed when unexpected guests arrive.
Stop multitasking and do one thing at a time
You might think you’re the king or queen of multi-tasking, able to get ten things done at once, but you may be doing more damage long-term than you might realize.
Multi-tasking regularly can contribute to memory problems. It can also make you more susceptible to becoming easily distracted, to the point you may not get anything done at all. So rather than trying to be a superhero and get everything done at once, try to focus on one task you can finish by giving it all your attention.
Break your New Years resolution
One of the primary reasons so many people break their new years’ resolutions is because they are more excited about doing something rather than committing to the work and slowly lose motivation as the excitement wears off.
But there’s no harm in breaking your resolutions. Take the opportunity to learn more about what does and doesn’t motivate you.