It’s comforting to think that everything in the world has a purpose. When global warming is a few years away from burning us all to a crisp, and your mom won’t return your phone calls, it’s nice to know that the rest of society has some order to it. Right?
Wrong. I’m sorry to break it to you, but some stuff out there is completely unnecessary and has absolutely no explanation. These things can end up bothering people so much that they lose sleep at night. But my advice is that we all just accept it, and try to move on with our lives.
Taking “Grill Or Die” To A Whole New Level
I thought those dads with the aprons that say “Grill Gang” were weird, but the “Grill Or Die” folks take it to a whole new level.
I’m not entirely sure why someone had a spare coffin hanging around that seemed like an appropriate item to turn into a barbecue, but if I get a free burger out of it, then I don’t care.
The Wires Are Supposed To Be Branches
If only there were a more straightforward way to add landscape to your office workspace. I can’t think of anything off the top of my head, but I’m sure there’s a way that doesn’t involve running a couple televisions screens 24 hours a day.
The best part of this is that someone spent at least 45 minutes figuring out how to make the images line up.
Coach Finally Partnered With Forever 21
We’re all used to seeing the completely unnecessary additions to Forever 21 clothing, but Coach purses have decided to jump on the bandwagon. They’re a designer brand, so they can probably do whatever they want and people will still buy it.
At Least It Will Stop You From Binging On Jelly Bellys
This would suck if it were ten Jelly Bellys, but this person ordered five pounds, and now they have thousands of personally wrapped candies.
I’m not sure why the factory thought this was a good idea, but hey, I don’t know their business model so it could be an elaborate plan. I’m not here to judge. I’m just here to eat individual buttered popcorn Jelly Bellys all day long.
Were The Fingers An Added Necessity?
I’ve never seen a warning sign with fingers, and I didn’t know I wanted to. It looks like this stick figure is singing in the rain and giving us the ol’ razzle-dazzle. Now I can’t stop imagining fingers on the stick figures for washroom and crosswalk signs.
To the artist who decided to add some flare to boring signs, thanks? I think?
None Of Those Figures Needed To Be Added Together
Shoutout to Gold Hill for just trying to keep visitors to their town informed. But surely, there was one person between all 118 of you who stopped to say that none of these numbers needed to be added up.
To The Person Who Sets A Timer Instead Of An Alarm: Why?
Look. If setting a timer instead of an alarm is what works for this person, then we should just let them live their weird, psychopath life without any judgment.
But in all seriousness, this would stress me out. I’d be looking at the timer all night watching it count down toward my morning misery.
For The Most Efficient Fire Escape Route
When there’s an emergency, you have to make sure everyone follows the rules and no one panics. Because as soon as there’s one loose cannon, it can go downhill quick.
If that means installing a useless fire escape door to keep the crowds at bay, then so be it.
Sometimes You Need A Handcart For Your Big Gulps, So What
Some people will say this is American ingenuity. Others will say it’s American laziness. Whatever it is, it’s not necessary whatsoever. There’s two of you, and two Big Gulps, so just carry them. If they’re too heavy to carry, then maybe it’s a sign you shouldn’t have bought them in the first place.
A Fantastic Movie Viewing Experience
There’s something magical about watching a fantastic movie that transports you out of your miserable life and to a different place for two hours.
The only thing that could ruin a beautiful movie experience is, oh I don’t know, maybe writing the words “Speaking in French” for the subtitles.
That Olympic Lifeguard Is Just There For The Minimum Wage Pay
If you thought your job was useless, just imagine being the lifeguard who has to watch over the Olympic swimming events.
Imagine sitting next to Olympic swimmers for 10 hours a day, thinking about what could have been, then going back home to your gig at the community wave pool.
I’m Here For The Detailed Written Description Of Chocolate Rain
Okay, so the book added QR codes to link to the YouTube videos, so what. This book is still one of the greatest contradictions. Who is actually going to buy a book to read descriptions of the “coolest, craziest, and most awesome” videos? Oh ya, grandma and grandpa will.
It’s A Known Fact That Robots Can’t Draw Check Marks
I’m not a robotic scientist, so I don’t feel confident calling out this car dealership. For all we know, the one glitch that scientists haven’t been able to figure out is how to make a robot draw a correct check mark.
But then again, I did see a video of a robot who can do a box jump and flip. So they could probably figure out a check mark.
Well, You Know That It Won’t Get Stolen
Did anyone let this woman know that she just needs to tie a ribbon around her suitcase handle and she’ll be able to find it no problem? It seems like she went 0-100 real quick.
Part of me wants to get the exact same suitcase made so that she knows how ineffective, and embarrassing, her personalized suitcase is.
The Malaysian People Need To Know How Much 50 Cent Is Really Worth
If you read the full article, they make a lot of necessary conversions to the Malaysian dollar. But I don’t think they needed to subject rapper 50 Cent to it.Yes, it sounds like he’s worth more now that he’s a higher number, but One Dollar Fifty Cents doesn’t roll off the tongue.
You Can’t Really Expect People Not To Abuse The Power Of A Label Maker
Look. The fact of the matter is the first label was an unnecessary label. Everyone knows that you can be 8 or 85, and you’ll still act like an idiot when you get your hands on a label maker.
I will label everything in sight, and nothing can stop me. The label maker is the one who has to accept this face and try to move on.
Does The Pole Get Used Often?
It doesn’t matter if this pole doesn’t get used often, it implies that this person had at least one stripper who requested to dance on this bike at some point in their life. What other reason would compel someone to install it?
Even if no one has used it yet, it’s still a major power move that we all need to accept.
Coffin Doors At The Hospital Are Just A Little Insensitive
I’m not sure if this design was unintentional or not, but either way, there must have been someone who saw them in preproduction and said, “maybe we shouldn’t.”
Because what are the realistic options? Either these coffin doors are in your average hospital wing, which would make people with a simple earache fear for their life. Or they’re in the terminal wing, and that’s just insensitive.
Architects Around The World Have Officially Mailed It In
This just seems like a complete waste of someone’s time and effort. It’s obvious that the handrail was always intended to be that short, and for what reason? If someone needs a handrail to get down that first step, then they probably need it for the rest.
There are so many strange architectural blunders, that I don’t even have the time or effort to question them anymore.
FYI: This Strawberry Costs $22
And the winner for the most unnecessary product ever goes to this single strawberry that comes specially packaged and costs $22.
I don’t even want to dissect this outrageous price, because I’ve decided just to let rich people do whatever they want with their money. Let them buy as many $22 strawberries as they desire while we all work on paying our rents.