In a world as diverse and unique as ours, it’s refreshing to meet people with different tastes and opinions on food. Americans can barely wrap their heads around the idea of Australians eating bread with butter and sprinkles, and the rest of the world just doesn’t understand why we deep-frying everything. (Because everything is better like that, duh.)
But those are trivial misunderstandings. We’re all entitled to our opinions and personal tastes, but sometimes, you’re just plain wrong. Ketchup and mustard cake is never acceptable. These people took a risk and tried out some unusual food combinations, and someone needs to stop them immediately.
We Have A New Contender In The Hawaiian Pizza Debate
Can we all agree to put aside our differences with the Hawaiian pizza debate and focus on what really matters? Like making sure this sushi pizza gets thrown into a raging dumpster fire.
The combination of cooked dough with slimy melted cheese and raw fish is just a food poisoning disaster waiting to happen.
This Is Not Practical Finger Food
The best part about popcorn is that it’s something you can snack on easily while you binge an entire season of Brooklyn 99. By putting ketchup on her popcorn, this girl ruined all of those things.
Now you can’t casually snack on it, because then you’re touching straight ketchup. And now when five pieces inevitably fall in the couch, it’s going to be messy.
The Anti-Christ Has Arrived In The Form Of A PB&Onion Sandwich
I want to throw acid in my eyes just looking at this peanut butter and raw onion sandwich. I want to say it’s just one person being stupid, but apparently, this food combination has a following in the Pacific Northwest. Walla Walla, Washington is known for growing sweet onions that people use in these sandwiches.
Way To Ruin A Perfectly Good Apple
I guess the Biblical fruit isn’t enough to satisfy some people out there. This girl adds salt and pepper to her apples like she’s flavoring a turkey dinner.
Just because almost every mommy-blog recipe says “add salt and pepper to taste” doesn’t mean you do it for every food out there.
Cheetos And Milk Does Not Count As A Meal
Hot Cheetos and milk is a bad enough combination, but this woman was disrespectful enough to call it dinner. If I were feeling generous, I’d agree to classify this as a snack.
But seeing as you just soaked your crunchy, crispy Hot Cheetos in soggy milk, I have no sympathy.
Even Condiment Lovers Wouldn’t Want A Ketchup And Mustard Cake
It’s official: food blogs have gone too far. For some reason, Shared decided to have a legitimate chef create a recipe for ketchup and mustard cake. People who dared to try it said the cake only had a hint of ketchup. But the icing has a whopping 1.5 cups of mustard mixed in with butter and sugar. I’m gagging just thinking about it.
Calling This A Quesadilla Is A Disgrace To Mexican Food
Look. We’ve all had to stretch our culinary skills the last two days before the direct deposit hits. That’s nothing new. But someone dared to label this bologna-cheese-mustard monstrosity as a quesadilla.
Lets all just call it what it is: a folded piece of lunchmeat with melted cheese inside.
Nothing Like Real Cheese To Drown Out The Fake Cheese Taste
A bagel with cream cheese is a breakfast staple for many people in the morning. We have such a good thing going already, why would anyone want to go and ruin it with Doritos?
I’m not saying Doritos aren’t delicious. But just because Americans love them doesn’t mean you have to add them to every food.
This Is What I Imagine A Teenage Punk-Rock Skater Boy Would Taste Like
I spoke too soon. Doritos on a cream cheese bagel is looking appetizing now in comparison to this Mountain Dew and Dorito cupcake. I’m not sure what this bakery was thinking. They’re clearly trying to target the males age 12-18 group since this combination is basically their everyday diet.
This Photo Looks Like A Slimy Mess
The thought of mayo and banana toast is sickening, but seeing a photo of it makes it even worse. The slippery condiment paired with slimy slices of banana is bad enough. But they’re paired with white bread that is bound to stick to the roof of your mouth.
This photo looks like each bite will be a marathon.
Dip Your Fake Cheese Puff Into A Tin Of Fake Cheese
Oh, you thought deep-friend-everything was the most American cuisine you could get? Think again. Cheetos Puffs dipped in Frito’s Melted American Cheese takes the cake.
When one portion of fake cheese won’t do, Americans aren’t afraid to take it to the next level. You don’t win the Revolutionary War without taking a few risks.
Will The Hawaiian Lovers Ever Stop?
I know I said we should leave Hawaiian pizza alone and focus on the bigger issues, but then something like pineapple and pizza-flavored Pringles comes along. People will never stop debating this flavor combo, but if we’re all going to keep arguing, lets at least stay on track and not involve Pringles.
It Looks Like A Four-Year-Old Made These Pizza Nachos
Can we even call this sad excuse a plate of nachos? Any true nacho lover would welcome the idea of pepperoni pizza flavored nachos, but only if they’re done well.
I’d rather eat all these items separately before eating a sad plate of tortilla chips microwaved with cheese.
My Teeth Hurt Just Looking At This
An ice cream grilled cheese sandwich is just too much. Grilled cheese is too soft and savory to pair with something as cold and sweet as ice cream.
Plus, the warm grilled cheeses will melt the ice cream, and it will become a soupy mess, making it way too hard to eat. Nothing good can come from this idea.
I’d Rather Drink The Orange Juice After Brushing My Teeth
Orange juice is delicious, but it’s not something you add to create a delicious flavor combination. It’s a great addition to breakfast, but not to an Oreo. Sure, you can drink the orange juice after finishing the Oreo. But dipping the cookie into it is straight up blasphemy.
The Meal Combination Literally No One But A Toddler Asked For
This looks like the kind of meal a stressed-out dad came up with to get their child to finally eat something. A fried egg, chicken pie, and spaghetti from a can are all classic toddler meals.
Desperate times call for desperate measures, but that doesn’t mean you have to torture your child to get them to eat.
Why Does America Want To Turn Everything Into A Donut?
Photo credit: @stevitg / Instagram
The spaghetti donut isn’t just the frightening brainchild of one person. You can buy one today at Pop Pasta in Brooklyn. The restaurant has been known to take risks with food, but this is a step too far.
Plus they didn’t even add in the best parts about spaghetti like the meatballs or parmesan cheese.
Nothing Better Than Floppy Microwave Bacon To Go With Sour Cream
In theory, this flavor combination should work out okay. A tortilla, sour cream, cheese, and meat are all regularly added in tacos. It’s the execution that is lacking here.
Here we have sad, thick slices of marble cheese, floppy bacon that was probably cooked in the microwave, and uneven distribution of sour cream. This is a trainwreck.
At This Point, Why Don’t We Just Add Onion To It?
I agree that plain peanut butter sandwiches can use some more texture, but we don’t need to do it with crunchy, salty pickles.
I understand that people can really love peanut butter, but why do we keep unnecessarily adding other foods and ruining the sandwiches? Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.
This Is Disrespectful To Pizzas Around The World
Creating an inside-out pizza is a fun experiment for a fourth-grade science fair. It’s not something you actually present to the world. Whoever did this somehow managed to ruin all the best things about pizza.
No one likes the crust, so why is crust the majority of the pie here? And how exactly do they expect us to pick up a slice when we’re holding the soft part? Get out.