Sometimes, things that are not food look so much like something edible that you just want to pop them into your mouth and live your life. The thing is, if you eat some of the things on this list, you might end up cutting your life real short. Or you just might end up getting really, really sick.
Let’s not have another Tide Pod fiasco. Let’s prove to the world that we’re capable of controlling our urges. Keep reading to see some elastic bands that will make you want Italian food and a mattress that will give you ice cream dreams.
These Are Not Gummy Bears
I know these primary colored translucent bears look like they’re made out of something edible, but they’re actually made out of soap.
Nobody should ever eat these. I know they look like they taste delicious, but they absolutely do not.
Don’t Eat This Bacony Wood Unless You Want Mouth Splinters
I want to put this sliced log right into my mouth even though it’s not actually bacon, and even though it looks more like raw bacon than cooked bacon.
I won’t do it though, because I’m a smart human being who doesn’t eat plain wood.
This Is Not A Can Of Tuna
Ok, this one you definitely should not even touch. Very bad things will happen to you if you touch this can of tuna that isn’t a can of tuna.
Just step away from the thing that isn’t delicious preserved fish slowly, and don’t make any sudden movements.
This Looks So Much Like Bread That I Don’t Believe It’s Soap
Doesn’t this look like a fresh baguette? Don’t you just want to slather it in butter and pop it in your mouth?
Well, you can’t. Because it’s soap that’s been microwaved. People aren’t supposed to eat soap. Go to the store and get yourself some actual bread.
This Cat Is Not A Fried Egg
Today I learned that if you put an orange on a cat, it looks just like a fried egg. The thing is, you have to remember that a cat with an orange on it is not a fried egg.
You could eat the orange, but for the love of all things fluffy, please don’t eat the cat.
The Hottest Cheese In The Universe
Ok friends, gather round. I have something very important to tell you about this melty cheese. It’s not cheese. I know it looks delicious, but your whole face will burn off if you try to put this anywhere near your mouth.
Please contain your urges until we can manage to get you a stack of Kraft singles.
This Dog Does Not Have A Cheeto Leg
I know this dog’s leg looks like a crunchy Cheeto. Look at his face, though. His leg is already broken, he doesn’t need a bite taken out of it too.
Sometimes the things that look the most delicious just need to be left alone.
Do Not Bite This, It’s Not Chocolate
Doesn’t this look like a tasty square of dark chocolate? Well, it doesn’t taste like a tasty square of dark chocolate. It tastes like a device that protects your floor from a heavy wheel.
It’s not going to melt in your mouth, it won’t taste good between two graham crackers… just stop looking at it like that.
We All Wish This Was A Cheesesteak
I’m pretty sure that this mummy would literally curse you if you tried to take a bite out of it. It’s too big to fit into your mouth anyway.
It’s not too big to fit into that MRI machine though. Have you ever been jealous of an MRI machine?
Elastics Are Not Linguini
Look, convincing your brain that you can’t eat this is not going to be an easy task. These elastic bands look like fresh linguini, and that’s a hard thing to overcome.
But I have faith in you. Together we can resist the temptation to munch on noodley rubber.
Forbidden Carrot Stick
Why is this Cheese Wiz looking at me? I would prefer if it just went into my mouth.
Don’t eat this snake, please. I’m not sure why he’s sitting on a pile of carrot sticks. It almost seems like he’s just asking for an accident.
Wulfenite (AKA The Forbidden Caramel)
This looks like the most delicious peanut brittle in the whole world. Why does it have to be a rock?
Why can’t real caramel look this appetizing? The world is an unfair place. Keep reading to see some towels that look more like something you’d pop in your mouth after dinner.
Puppies Or Chicken Tenders?
When I first saw this picture, I literally thought, “hey, those chicken tenders look like dogs.”
If puppies don’t want to get eaten, they shouldn’t look so much like delicious pub food. Even chickens don’t look this much like chicken tenders.
Sleeping On An Ice Cream Sandwich
If my mattress looked like this, I would spend all night dreaming about ice cream sandwiches. I think I’d wake up in the middle of the night to eat one, just to stop me from eating my mattress.
I’d have to keep my freezer fully stocked.
So, Somebody Definitely Tried To Eat These
These little mint looking pebbles are actually compressed towels that expand when you put them in water. I don’t know why anybody thought it was a good idea to make them look so edible.
If you need to write “do not eat” on it, that means somebody definitely tried to eat one.
This Is Not A Dumpling
This little hamster was just minding his own business when a hungry person with chopsticks thought he looked like a delicious dumpling.
This is a hamster, not a dumpling. Please do not eat him. He just wants to be loved. Read on to see a hamburger that definitely isn’t a hamburger.
This Cat Is Not A Ham
I know this kitty is looking a bit like Christmas dinner right now, The thing is, it’s not even December. Just let him live his life in peace.
If he wants to press his butt up against some mesh, let him press his butt up against some mesh.
I Really Wish These Were Marshmallows
I refuse to believe that these are not actual marshmallows. Why would anyone make packing peanuts that look this delicious?
Why didn’t they ship whatever it was in actual marshmallows? Then the package would be protected, you get a snack, and you make less garbage.
These Hamburgers Are Lies
That’s right, these fire discs are not hamburgers, even though “fire disk” would be a perfectly good alternative name for a hamburger.
Do not eat these under any circumstances— even if they are near a barbecue situation and they seem to be very hamburger-like.
Oh. My. God.
I don’t think I can ever watch Star Wars the same way again. Darth Vader was a delicious ice cream cone under his helmet this whole time?
What a twist. One of the greatest twists in movie history, I’d say. What flavor do you think he is?