Bumper Stickers You’d Laugh At If You Saw Them In The Wild

Like tattoos for your car, a bumper sticker tells you a lot about the person that you're driving behind. A certain category of people are willing to put a sticker on their car, and there's a big market for bumper stickers.

Some people prefer to take the funny approach, others take the aggressive "get back or else" approach, and then there are just plain strange ones that you come across. All of them can be appreciated in their own way.

Use Your Blinker

jesus used turn signals bumper sticker
Photo Credit: Flickr / Joe Wolf
Photo Credit: Flickr / Joe Wolf

We're not saying that the Lord would be disappointed in you for changing lanes on the highway without signaling.

But this person is definitely saying that, and we're not going to argue with it.

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Self-Promote Whenever Possible

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I make my own beer bumper sticker
Photo Credit: Imgur / Nashgasm
Photo Credit: Imgur / Nashgasm
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We can appreciate a little self-promotion as much as the next person.

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But if you're going to try to get people to buy your beer, you should probably make the website a little bigger.

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Is There Anyone Who Doesn't?

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always brake for hot dogs bumper sticker
Photo Credit: Twitter / @Kuhns_23
Photo Credit: Twitter / @Kuhns_23
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There are few people who could say that they wouldn't stop at the chance for a bacon-wrapped hot dog (don't lie, you probably would).

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But does it really warrant a bumper sticker?

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Listening Skills Not On Point

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not listening or something bumper sticker
Photo Credit: Pinterest
Photo Credit: Pinterest
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She also probably told you not to buy this bumper sticker because she didn't think it was funny.

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But we're guessing that you tuned out of that part of the conversation too.

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Hope You Can Speed-Read

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dave matthews band bumper sticker
Photo Credit: Reddit / iwantmypinkshirtback
Photo Credit: Reddit / iwantmypinkshirtback
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This is such a niche bumper sticker, and it's so specific that it must have been specially ordered by this person, right?

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Multiple people don't have a need for this Dave Matthews coverup bumper sticker.

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No One Asked You

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bumper sticker opinions
Photo Credit: Reddit
Photo Credit: Reddit
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A picture says a thousand words, and you drive your car all around town.

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So it makes sense that people use a bumper sticker to share their opinions, even if no one cares about those opinions.

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Changing Your Perspective

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truck pushing a motorhome sticker
Photo Credit: Imgur / Jmfreeman21
Photo Credit: Imgur / Jmfreeman21
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If you're going to stick a giant announcement onto your vehicle for the foreseeable future, you might as well make it something helpful.

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It must be confusing for people when they see this truck without the RV, though.

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Spittin' Truths About Suburbia

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squirrel bumper sticker about taking trees down
Photo Credit: Pinterest
Photo Credit: Pinterest
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This kind of sticker really makes you go "hmmmm" after you read it.

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Because you wish that you could tell them they were wrong, but honestly, where is the lie?

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PT Cruiser, You're A Loser

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bumper sticker making fun of pt cruisers
Photo Credit: Reddit
Photo Credit: Reddit
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At least they know that their car is not considered a cool car, and they've decided to take the "if you can't beat em, join em" approach.

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Give them the punch line before they can even make the joke so you can all get where you need to go.

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The Beginning Of The End

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used to be cool sticker on a minivan
Photo Credit: Reddit / TCBear
Photo Credit: Reddit / TCBear
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You told yourself that you were never going to be the parent who drives a minivan and shuttles kids around to soccer.

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But flash forward 10 years and here you are in the parking lot at the field after practice.

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Enjoy The Ride That Is This Crazy Life

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suffer from insanity and enjoying it
Photo Credit: Pinterest
Photo Credit: Pinterest
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Why is it that people are always "suffering" from insanity, and only havoc is ever wreaked?

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Let havoc do what it wants and let the insane live their happy lives without you meddling.

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The Only Solution

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used up sick days so called ind ead
Photo Credit: Imgur
Photo Credit: Imgur
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So, does this mean a ghost is driving whatever car has this bumper sticker?

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Or do you think it's one of those fancy electronic self-driving cars that doesn't need a driver?

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Making Their Stance Clear

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stick people with money decal
PHoto Credit: Imgur
PHoto Credit: Imgur
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People who choose to have those little stick figure families on the back of their vehicle immediately tell the world a lot about who they are.

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In this case, this couple wants you to know that they chose to not have children, and the result of that decision is clear.

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If Only Trunks Actually Worked Like This

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slide to unlock bumper sticker
Photo Credit: Reddit / Kaysette
Photo Credit: Reddit / Kaysette
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You could probably position this photo to be your lock screen if you wanted to seriously commit yourself to your car.

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But as far as bumper stickers go, this one isn't half bad.

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Honk If You Can Relate

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holden it together bumper sticker
Photo Credit: Twitter / @klrherrera
Photo Credit: Twitter / @klrherrera
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He's just saying what everyone else driving on the freeway is thinking as they sit in traffic making them late to work for the third day in a row because the kids wouldn't put their shoes on.

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We're all just barely holding it together here.

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Where Is The Lie?

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divorce costs 100 grand bumper sticker
Photo Credit: Imgur
Photo Credit: Imgur
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We wish that we could debate this one, but they're not wrong.

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If you're willing to buy this bumper sticker, though, you might have some other flaws which could be why you're divorced.

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Accepting The Sad Reality

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minivan reality bumper sticker
Photo Credit: Pinterest
Photo Credit: Pinterest
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You know when you purchase a minivan you're not going to be getting a lot of compliments on your vehicle.

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No one is going to stop you at a gas station to tell you how nice your minivan is.

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And You're Probably Following Too Closely

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women are natural leaders bumper sticker
Photo Credit: Flickr / Rahel Jaskow
Photo Credit: Flickr / Rahel Jaskow
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You may like to make jokes about how women can't drive, or how you feel unsafe when you let your wife drive.

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But it's hard to argue with the cold, hard facts.

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Don't Touch His Truck

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donttouch
YouTube
YouTube
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This enormously lifted truck is letting everyone know not to touch it.

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With a truck lifted up that high, who can even reach it?

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Got Insurance?

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brakes-bumper-sticke
Pinterest
Pinterest
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Some people think that old vehicles don't work as well as newer cars. Well this classic truck driver has something to say about that.

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Their bumper sticker warns, "My brakes work fine. How's your insurance?"

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Why Run When You Could Drive?

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bumper sticker celebrating 0 miles ran
Photo Credit: Imgur
Photo Credit: Imgur
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Running a marathon is no small feat. It's a major accomplishment and you should be proud of that.

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But does it really need to be written on a sticker on your bumper for the next 7–12 years?

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Look, They're Not Wrong

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my opinions are awesome website bumper sticker
Photo Credit: Reddit / Khromulabobulation
Photo Credit: Reddit / Khromulabobulation
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We both know I'm never going to visit the website that you're advertising on your bumper sticker, so what's the point in pretending?

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Take the route that this man did and just acknowledge it.

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No Participation Trophy For You

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if you can read this back off bumper sticker
Photo Credit: Imgur
Photo Credit: Imgur
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You thought it was going to be one of those "if you can read this you're too close" bumper stickers, but the joke's on you, that part is implied.

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Instead, they'd rather insult your fourth-grade reading level.

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Mazda Tribute Deserves The Recognition

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tribute pun bumper sticker on mazda
Photo Credit: Imgur / Tmcconnon
Photo Credit: Imgur / Tmcconnon
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It may not be the fanciest car but it gets you where you need to go.

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And that's all that you can really ask, so let it have its shining moment.

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Dinosaur > Cars

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history repeats itself dinosaur bumper sticker
Photo Credit: Reddit / principessa1180
Photo Credit: Reddit / principessa1180
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We're doomed to repeat history if we don't learn from it.

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But doesn't some small part of you wish there was a way we could exist at the same time as dinosaurs?

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Dreaming Of A Greater Tomorrow

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chicken cross the road bumper sticker
Photo Credit: Reddit
Photo Credit: Reddit
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In an ideal world, everyone would make a full stop at stop signs, use their turn signals on every turn, never tailgate, and chickens could cross the road freely.

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That's the true utopia.

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Seems Like A Threat

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do not meddle in affairs of dragons bumper sticker
Photo Credit: Pinterest
Photo Credit: Pinterest
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Would ketchup have been the condiment you would choose if you were going to be serving a meal to dragons?

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Seems like barbecue sauce or hot sauce would've been a better choice, but to each his own.

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The Dark Lord Is Always With You

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republicans for voldemort bumper sticker
Photo Credit: Pinterest
Photo Credit: Pinterest
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In the regular muggle world of the 21st century, "defense against the dark arts" just means you're standing by whatever political party you're affiliated with.

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And Voldemort is whoever the opposition's leader is.

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Time To Find A New Job

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go to hell bumper sticker about job
Photo Credit: Imgur
Photo Credit: Imgur
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You must be pretty fired up about your job to actively search out and then purchase a bumper sticker that describes your work as "hell."

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Plus, you then drive this vehicle to work every day, so clearly, you're not shy about sharing your feelings.

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What Does It Mean If You Can Read This?

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dyslexics joke bumper sticker
Photo Credit: Reddit / BDog23
Photo Credit: Reddit / BDog23
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We're not sure what it says about you if you were able to read this on the first try without any difficulty.

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But that's a problem you can sort out when you get to your destination.

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Math Is The Only Subject That Counts

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dont drink and derive bumper sticker
Photo Credit: Reddit / doonkune
Photo Credit: Reddit / doonkune
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If you're going to send a message to the general population about who you are as a person, you might as well send the message that you're a punny math wizard.

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This person accomplished that.

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A Woman Scorned

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fantasy creatures bumper sticker about men
Photo Credit: Flickr / smilla4
Photo Credit: Flickr / smilla4
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Everyone knows a scorned woman is not someone that you want to mess with.

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And this bumper sticker tells us that this is not a woman we want to mess around with either.

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Mind Ya Business

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leave me alone bumper sticker
Photo Credit: Imgur / t1l3ro
Photo Credit: Imgur / t1l3ro
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You stay in your lane, he'll stay in his lane, everyone will get to their destination safely, and we can all continue living our lives.

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It probably wouldn't hurt to keep your distance just in case, though.

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Pointing Out The Obvious

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adults on board too bumper sticker
Photo Credit: Reddit / permanant_throwaway
Photo Credit: Reddit / permanant_throwaway
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Unless you thought the baby on board was the one responsible for driving the vehicle, it was safe to assume everyone knew there were adults on board.

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Never hurts to remind anyone though!

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They're Definitely A Local

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sorry for driving too close bumper sticker
Photo Credit: Reddit / KPexEAw
Photo Credit: Reddit / KPexEAw
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Is there anything more Canadian than having a bumper sticker that apologizes to the person driving too close behind you?

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Even though it's completely their fault and you have no control over it?

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Keep Your Opinions To Facebook

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opinions! bumper sticker
Photo Credit: Twitter
Photo Credit: Twitter
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The only reason you get a bumper sticker to share your opinions is if you feel passionately about something.

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That and every other person in your life is sick of discussing that particular topic with you.

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We All Know It's True

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financial burden bumper sticker for babies
Photo Credit: Reddit / KettleInTheCorner
Photo Credit: Reddit / KettleInTheCorner
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Part of being a parent is reminding your children just how much you've sacrificed for them in their lives and how much they've cost you over the years.

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You might as well start reminding them from a young age.

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Bit Of A Catch-22

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out of money experience bumper sticker
Photo Credit: Facebook
Photo Credit: Facebook
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Maybe if you weren't spending money on silly things like bumper stickers you wouldn't need to have a bumper sticker explaining to other drivers that you have no money left.

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Doh!

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You Had Fair Warning

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honk if you want to die bumper sticker
Photo Credit: Pinterest
Photo Credit: Pinterest
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If you're the type of person who honks at other drivers thinking that it's going to improve the situation, you have to accept the consequences and be aware of what you're getting yourself into.

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In this case, it's better not to honk.

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Harsh But True

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stick family bumper sticker
Photo Credit: Reddit / CrispyNectar
Photo Credit: Reddit / CrispyNectar
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You may think that everyone on the road cares that your daughter plays basketball, your son plays hockey, and that you have two cats.

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...And you're probably going to continue to think that so we won't burst your bubble.

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Free Advice

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don't believe everything you think bumper sticker
Photo Credit: Reddit
Photo Credit: Reddit
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Don't believe everything you read on a bumper sticker or every piece of unsolicited advice you receive.

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But if you're going to choose to believe any of them this may be the one for you to trust.